“Fuck! Fuck!”
I anxiously paced around my room listening to the sounds of everyone waking up.
I was battling the intrusive thoughts of last night. I wanted to desperately forget it. To pretend it never happened. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but a small part of me couldn’t stop rejoicing.
I felt sick to my stomach and started biting my nails down to the skin of my fingers. A terrible habit of mine that resurfaced once again.
“Shit!”
What am I going to do? I can’t go downstairs.
I was startled by the smell of breakfast wafting into my room.
But if I don’t, then it’s going to seem weird. Then Miyuki and Saya will get suspicious… especially Saya!
That is.. unless..
God no! No! No! No! No! I’m already in a precarious situation with Saya as it is. I know what she said before about helping me and blah blah blah. but... she’s not exactly rational. I don’t need anything blowing her top.
“Fuck!”
I begrudgingly got dressed for school before heading to my door.
My hand lingered on the door knob as I inhaled a deep breath.
This is going to suck.
After a self deprecating laugh, I slowly opened my door and proceeded to head down stairs.
It’s kind of quiet? This just makes it feel so much worse.
Once I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the sight of Kenzie running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Frantically flipping pancakes while struggling to properly fold her omelets. But, once I walked into the kitchen she turned into a deer in headlights.
Out of the corner of my eye Saya and Miyuki were giving me very unsettling looks.
Miyuki looked.. dead. That’s the best way I can describe it. Her eyes were like that of a lifeless fish as she silently stared at me.
Saya on the other hand…
She had those same empty eyes very reminiscent of a yandere. But, she looked perfectly calm. Not angry, upset, happy, nothing. Just a blank slate.
They.. know..
THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW!!!! OH!!! FUCK! THEY KNOW!!!
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
The world twisted and warped in strange ways and time came to a grinding halt.
My heart pounded as I observed the three women in front of me. My palms were sweaty and my stomach churned horribly. I could feel my eye twitching uncontrollably and it was becoming steadily more difficult to breathe.
I… I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
I fucked up! I fucked up! I’m fucked up! I can’t do this!
Suddenly, It felt like something inside of me snapped.
“I…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.”
No one said anything as I turned heel and walked towards the front door, before quietly slipping out of the house.
With no real idea of what I wanted to do, or where to go, I let my body make the decision as I began to walk. There was only one thought in my head.
I can’t go back.