"Then take it one step further. Make a decision in advance that you will forgive them, if only in order to move past the pain they caused you." Briar said. "They don't need to deserve it one bit. This is done on behalf of yourself, so that you can cut off the cycle of viciousness, the spiralling depths of revenge. Can you do that?"
"... Don't ask if I can do it." Robin said with difficulty. "This is what I must do. So there is no can or cannot. It must be done."
After a long pause, Robin nodded. "I…will forgive them, then. I don't ever want to see them again. But…wherever they are, I hope they will be a better person for it."
Briar nodded. "You have done well on the first step." She smiled.
"There's more?" Robin made a face.
"Obviously, the next step is to forgive yourself." Briar chuckled. "True self-care lies not in denying your own virtues, but in acknowledging both your strengths, and your weaknesses, without judgement or ill intent. Then, aiming to improve from there, you go forward. Such is a life one ought to live."
"...I…see…" Robin glanced up at Briar. "Um…how did you know?" She asked, hesitantly.
"Know what?" Briar asked.
"That I was…hating myself." Robin admitted.
"Your mother can be kind, but you are not?" Briar asked calmly.
"You are your mother's child, Robin. If she is kind, then so are you. But you deny that you are kind. This is why you are unhappy.
Your nature, at its core, is to be kind. You wish to be kind; you desire it. But you have been convinced by circumstances that in order to protect yourself, kindness is a luxury you cannot afford. Am I correct?"
"It's like you can see right through me." Robin grumbled.
"No…I also hated myself a long time ago. It took me a lot of time to understand why I wasn't able to be happy." Briar said. "In that respect, I'm glad that you can learn to forgive so quickly."
"...Why?" Robin asked.
"Hmm?"
"Why…did you…hate yourself?" Robin asked.
"Because I couldn't forgive my mother's killers." Briar replied. "Because I couldn't forgive the persons behind them, the assassins guild itself, and the person who owned it…and because of that, I couldn't forgive myself." Briar replied, recalling the moment where she finally realized what was going on back then.
"Hatred… is a scary thing. It has a way of transforming you into the very thing you despise."
"Did you…also forgive them?" Robin asked.
"...yes." Briar said. "That person…was also pitiful in her own way."
"I…see…" Both Robin and Briar were quiet for a while after that, thinking about things.
"Here you go, Dear! One letter of introduction from Arielle!" Arielle came out from the back room, cheerfully. The two looked up from their ponderings. Arielle paused, sensing the shift in atmosphere.
"What's the matter? Did you have a good cry?" Arielle asked.
"... No?" Robin tilted her head. "…I have a lot to think about, though."
"Ah. Thinking, is it?" Arielle nodded. "And I be thinking it's about time that came off." She pointed at the face mask that had dried on Robin's face.
Robin realized that she had been wearing the face mask the entire time.
"Er…please." She said bashfully.
Briar chuckled, guessing why Robin was suddenly so shy…
~~~
As they were walking out the salon, Briar spoke up again.
"You know, I forgot to mention something back there." She said.
"What was it?" Robin asked.
"Hatred can turn you into that which you despise, it's true. But…love can transform you as well, and bring you closer to that which you cherish. Hold tight to those you cherish, Robin. That way, you can become that which you cherish as well." Briar patted Robin on the shoulder.
"Well right now, I am 'cherishing' what we're having for lunch. I'm starving." Robin quipped.
Briar laughed. "Good one! Let's hope it's your ideal lunch, then!"
"Robin!" Christian waved from the window of the carriage which pulled up to the steps in front of them. He jumped down and opened the door for Robin and Briar.
"Keith made reservations at a nearby restaurant. He told me it's about time to come pick you up." Christian explained.
"Oh? Lovely." Briar smiled, and helped Robin into the carriage so that she didn't trip on her skirts. "Let's be off, then!"
~~~
At lunch, Christian's gaze kept being drawn back to Robin inadvertently. He felt something had changed, but he wasn't sure what it was. All he could tell was that Robin looked even more like a young lady. It was…distracting.
"Well? Did the salon do a good job? Doesn't our Robin look much better now?" Briar's eyes twinkled merrily as she noticed Christian's absentminded gaze on Robin.
"Er…Yes. Absolutely lovely." Christian looked down at his plate, feeling apprehensive. He knew that Robin had no choice but to dress up as a lady. And Robin was probably going to get mad at him for saying that. But he wasn't going to lie about it. Robin looked really good in those clothes.
"At least you're an honest one." Briar chuckled.
Robin ducked her head down, letting her hair fall in front of her face as she felt the blood start to rush to her head. 'Dagnabbit, Christian! Sneak attacks are not fair!' She thought as she tried to calm her now rapid heartbeat.
Keith raised an eyebrow at Briar, asking a silent question. Did she know? Briar noticed his unspoken question and nodded. Keith sighed lightly. It seemed that only Christian and the knights were unaware of Robin's predicament.
Robin ate the remainder of her meal in silence, not even remembering the taste of it.
~~~
They made their way out of the kingdom's border without any further trouble. In fact, once they confirmed Briar's identity, the border guards just waved them on through. Lady Allison had done them a small service in this matter, perhaps as an apology.
Once they were far enough away from the kingdom, the carriage stopped for people to finally remove their disguises. Robin slipped off the gown, and placed her familiar green tunic on again with a small sigh of relief. The hair extensions came off, and her sword was strapped on her waist once more.
"Er, Robin…you can take off your disguise now." Christian said.
"What? But I did take it off." Robin said, not understanding.
"Not the clothes…" Christian pointed at Robin's chest, feeling embarrassed. Robin looked down. She had forgotten to wear her binder. She scowled at Christian.
"Stop looking!" She said icily.
Briar straight out laughed at the spectacle from her seat next to the window.
"What's so funny?" Christian narrowes his eyes at Briar.
"That is not something easily gotten rid of." Briar said vaguely. "It's also a bit indecent for Robin to give that much exposure here with so many of the opposite gender…. So it'll just have to wait until we stop off at an inn."
Christian wanted to apologize to Robin for insulting him, but Robin didn't even look at him. Instead, Robin marched past him into the carriage, slammed the door shut, and locked it. Christian could only get in on the other side now. Christian stood there in a daze as he realized he messed up again.
Keith could only sympathetically pat Christian's shoulders before getting in on the other side of the carriage. For the remainder of the carriage ride, that day, Robin had an icy glare on her face that no one wanted to be on the brunt end of. When they stopped at an inn, Robin got off the carriage first, and dragged Briar along with her to book a room ahead of the others.
"Oh my. It suddenly seemed much cooler back in the carriage." Briar, who sat across from her, fanned herself as she joked, sitting on one of the beds. It was another twin bedroom.
Robin sat on the other bed, looking through her spatial bag for her binder. When she found it, she brought it out. But then she stared at it, looking listless.
"Don't take it to heart, dear." Briar patted Robin on her head. "He only pointed it out because your natural state looks good. So good, it's distracting."
"So with this on, it's an unnatural state?" Robin asked.
"The Father Almighty made you a woman for a reason, Robin. There are things that only you can accomplish, places that only you have a right to go to using your natural right." Briar pointed out. "Whether you appreciate it or not is up to you, though."
"...When this is all over…" Robin muttered. Where would she be when it was all over?