Leah
"How do you know Julian?" he asked, turning to face me the second we stepped into his office.
I screeched to a stop, almost ramming my back against the door.
“I just met him in the hallway.”
He narrowed his eyes, his lips pressing into a thoughtful thin line.
“Hmm,” was all he said before turning and walking further into his office.
Just as he sat down, a knock came at the door and a man entered carrying a stack of files. I simply stood there, watching the confident stroke of his pen across the pages.
The man I'd found that night had needed help, but this man, sitting behind his table, exuded nothing but control.
Today was supposed to be the day I’d head out for a job interview a friend had recommended me for. Instead, I woke up, got dressed, and came straight to this hotel as if he’d been beckoning me.
I couldn't get the image of his face that night out of my head. It made me toss and turn for two straight nights. On the second night, grandma couldn't take it anymore. She kept probing until I finally told her about the strange offer.
“Do you think doing this would save a life?” she’d asked, studying me.
“Sort of?”
“Then I don’t see why it’s so bad.”
“But I have school, Grandma. Exams start next week. Besides, I can't just leave you and Jaden.”
“Hmm…”
She’d reached over and patted my hand. “I know you, dear. There's more to this than you’re letting on… but I won't push it. Just know this, sweetie, If he truly needs you, he’ll work with your terms. If he doesn’t, then you haven’t lost a thing. A good opportunity won't ask you to break yourself for it, so don't turn it down just because you're afraid to ask for what you need.”
Coming back here now, watching him talk business like nothing had ever happened, made me feel like I’d imagined the whole thing.
My first thought when the other man walked in was that Damien had already found my replacement. I don’t know why that thought made me feel weird. I was the one who’d rejected the offer after all.
“Ms. Carter?”
But then I'd come all the way because… I don't know… he made it look like he needed me.
“Ms. Carter?”
My thoughts screeched to a stop, making me realize I’d been staring at the floor the entire time. I shot my head up and found both men looking at me with confusion etched across their faces.
I cleared my throat, “Uh… good evening.”
Yes. That was it. My brain had gone blank.
His eyes roamed my face as though he was searching for where I’d dropped my brain, or wondering whether I’d come in with it at all.
He gave a few final instructions to the man beside him, who nodded and walked towards the door, glancing back at me on his way out.
Damien inhaled deeply, then stood and walked around the table.
For one ridiculous second, I almost expected him to walk right up to me, slip an arm around my waist, and pull me against his chest. But of course I didn't want that. Obviously not. Humph!
He sat on the edge of the table, slid his hands into his pockets, and waited.
“Have you gotten a replacement?”
“No.”
I looked at him, catching a glimpse of that man from that night. That made me speechless.
“Why me,” I finally asked with a shrug.
He sighed and leaned off that table, then walked to the spot where I'd found him that night, and pointed at it.
"Ms. Carter, I want to keep what happened right here from happening again. You're the only person who's come closer to stopping it than my medication ever has."
“Again, why me?”
“I'm not entirely certain, but I've noticed your…uh… personality has a way of distracting me from the unfavorable elements in this environment.”
“My personality? You mean my nuisance, dumbness, recklessness and unprofessionalism? Cause that's basically how you’ve described me.”
“No,” he said with a faint shake of his head. “I mean full of life, kind, chirpy, clumsy. Naive, chaotic, yes. But real.” One corner of his mouth twitched before he caught himself.
My face heated. The honesty in his voice caught me completely off guard.
“It’s the opposite of everything I deal with in this world.”
“What exactly do you deal with?” I found myself asking, wanting to know what horror he must have gone through to have such episodes. I’m no expert on the business world, but I doubt every CEO ends up shaking in a corner.
“That's all you need to know for now, Ms. Carter.”
And just like that, the wall went back up.
Strangely, my heart ached for this man. The veins at his temple, the subtle shadows under his eyes, betrayed his calm and cold demeanor. They revealed someone sleep-deprived, stressed, and battling an illness. An illness he obviously didn't want the wrong people finding out. If nothing else, the drama in the boardroom and my encounter with his brother had given me a glimpse into his life.
“I have my finals coming up next week,” I said with a shrug.
“Okay.”
“I need to focus.”
“Take all the time you need for your exams,” he said with a nod.
“No travels.”
He paused, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. “Why not?”
Now it was my time to pause. More like go mute. I honestly hadn't thought this through.
“If this is about your son, I can assure you he'll be well looked after…”
“It’s not just that.”
"Then what is it, Ms. Carter?" He leaned away from the table and took a step toward me. "I can't afford to slip up, Ms. Carter. Not at a time like this." He held my gaze.
“A time like what?”
He didn’t answer at first. He exhaled and walked back around his desk instead.
“There is so much I can't divulge because…”
He paused.
“You don't trust me.”
“I don't trust anyone, so yes… I don't trust you.”
“Fair enough.” I took a long deep breath. “But my grandmother isn’t as strong as she used to be, and my son is five. Nanny or not, I can’t be on a plane to another country if either of them needs me overnight.”
He went quiet longer, his eyes still on me. After a few seconds, he exhaled and sat back down.
“I can work with that. When can you start?”
“In two weeks.”
He gave a curt nod. “Would that be all, Ms. Carter?”
“Yes, sir.”
“The contract will be sent to your email. Good day.”
With that, he opened his laptop and started typing, and I understood I’d been dismissed.
I slowly turned and walked to the door.
“And Ms. Carter.”
I stopped and turned back.
“Everything discussed in this office remains confidential. I expect absolute discretion from you, Ms. Carter.”
“Yes, sir.”
I took a final look at him, watching him go about his business. If I hadn't witnessed his unravelling that night, I would’ve never believed someone who looked so calm and put together could have such a meltdown.
What happened to this man?
Outside, my head began spinning through every traumatic scenario I could imagine. I'd only ever seen panic attacks a handful of times at the hospital where Grandma stayed. I had no experience handling cases like his. I didn't even know what I'd do if he had another episode, because I still didn't know what was wrong with him in the first place.
“Leah.”
I shot my head up and saw Matt leaning against his car, his arms folded rigidly.
‘Oh shit, Matt!’
I'd completely forgotten about everything. The night of Damien's episode, Matthew had searched all over for me. When he finally found me, he'd been so worried he yelled at me, and he hadn't really spoken to me since.
"One of the concierges told me you were still around," he said. "I figured you'd need a ride home."
I stared at him, standing there in the cold, waiting for me. I don't know for how long. I always felt guilty for getting so caught up in my own world that I neglected him. He'd always been there for me. Yet all I seemed to do was overlook him.
“Get in, Leah. It's cold.” He turned toward the driver's side.
“Matt?”
He looked back, probably wondering why I still hadn't moved.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
No response. He simply stood there, looking at me.
“I'm really sorry for going AWOL on you. For making you worry nonstop about me.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Leah, it's cold out. Let's just go.”
“Matt…”
“Enough, Leah.” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “It's always an apology. I don't want your pity.”
“It's not…pity.”
“You feel sorry for me. For not thinking about me, our plans, any of it. I do not exist to you when you run off to meet your wealthy boss.”
“Wealthy boss…”
"I'm nothing to you, Leah. Except, of course, your moral support." He let out a humorless laugh. "Now, please get in the car before this headache gets any worse."
My heart dropped into my stomach, pounding wildly there. I fidgeted, almost considering walking home in the cold.
I'd hurt Matt yet again, and he was fed up.
He sighed. “Leah… please. Just get in.”
Wordlessly, with guilt weighing heavily on my chest, I slipped into the car, clutching my bag as though the slightest sound from me would trigger another outburst.
And then, of all things, my mind didn’t stay on Matt or on how badly I’d treated him. It went straight back to that man crouched against the wall, staring into my soul with the eyes of a thousand torments.