“I still think it’s ridiculous.”

I rolled my eyes as I speared another sausage link. Dad had a hard time letting things like this go. Even when it gave us a chance to have breakfast together, just the two of us, my suspension from school had him seething. He’d always been slow to boil, I’d known that even when I was younger, but time and loss had steadily worn that patience thin.

I took after my mother, but Dad and Tyler were near replicas of each other. My father was short, almost shorter than I was already, and his dirty blond hair was more white in most places. Large eyes and a large nose made him look pretty comical behind wide-framed glasses, but he was razor-sharp and kind to a fault. Except for moments like now, when he had some injustice to fight against.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad,” I said around a mouthful of fried egg and breakfast sausage. “We’ll have to put up with a lot more injustice before normal society and wizard society even out. May as well just take our licks.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re planning something.”

I choked on the mouthful of breakfast, my mind racing as I coughed and tried to get the food settled into the right pipe.

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t even bother. You think I don’t know how you work? You get this look about you when you expect things to get better soon.”

“Not sure what you’re talking about,” I said defensively, trying to blank out my expression. I didn’t know I had a tell like that.

“Yeah, zero percent better, daughter. I was just like you when I was your age, and I’m a doctor now. You’ve got a lot to learn if you want to pull the wool over my eyes.”

I fumed silently. This was an unexpected speedbump. The operation would be a lot harder to pull off if I had to do it while sneaking around under my dad’s nose.

“I know that look too,” he said, cutting through my thoughts. “If I make you answer, you’ll lie to me. Just promise me that you’ll be safe, and look after Tyler.”

I was silent for a moment longer, knowing that such a promise was effectively an admission of guilt. Still, I was pretty much dead to rights. I’d have to spend some time with a mirror, or ask Jay to take pictures of me in different situations. How expressive could my face possibly be?

“I promise, Dad,” I said. “It’s nothing that’ll get anybody hurt.”

I didn’t add the “probably”, but I feel like he heard it in my voice. He heaved out a heavy sigh, then stood and started gathering the dishes. I wolfed down the rest of my breakfast, then helped him get everything washed and put away. It had been a while since the two of us had been alone together. He worked long hours at the clinic, and Tyler and I stayed pretty active with the club, so moments like these were rare. I felt a twinge of guilt, thinking about how lonely he might be feeling.

I dried my hands off as he wiped down the counter. On a whim, I walked up and hugged him from behind, putting my chin on his shoulder. He made a surprised sound, but put the rag down and patted me on the arm. He was blushing, which brought a smile to my face. He had always been a little emotionally withdrawn.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

“For what?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

“Just thanks.”

I let him go and turned to head back upstairs.

“You’re more and more like her every day,” he said as I made it to the hallway. I froze, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I didn’t turn around, didn’t meet his eyes. Just nodded once, and took the stairs two at a time up to my room.

I closed the door behind me and then set my back to it, sliding slowly to the floor. My room was sparsely populated, hardly more than a bed, a closet, and a desk. Opposite the door, set in a position that ensured it was always the first thing I would see when I sat up in the morning, the only real decoration on the bare white walls stared back at me.

A portrait of a woman and a young girl. The girl had her mother’s forest green eyes, her dark brown hair, her high cheekbones and wide mouth. The two posed in front of a gradient blue background, the girl in a frilly black and white dress, the mother in the uniform of a police sergeant. I never went a morning without staring at the picture, feeling pain and guilt and terror raging in the back of my mind. It had been five years since the picture had been taken, four years since…

I took a deep breath, whispering the same words I always did when I looked into my mother’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

I received no response, as always, but each day that I apologized I saw a little more anger in the loving smile, a little more disappointment in the proud gaze. 

I was still rattled from the run-in with Julia, that much was certain. I felt a cold in me that I hadn’t felt for a long time, dark and bitter. It was like there was a deep chasm yawning open beneath me, so vast I couldn’t possibly see the bottom, only sense its depth. I’d spent a long time staring into that abyss, uncertain if I’d ever emerge, uncertain if I even cared.

Jay saved me from that. He dragged me out to a rundown barn in the middle of the woods and told me he had a plan. A plan to make ourselves better people than we were, to help other people become better. And maybe, somewhere along the way, we’d find some friends, some fun.

Maybe we would find forgiveness.

I lost track of time sitting there thinking about the old days, the good ones and the terrible. My phone chimed with an incoming text, and upon checking it I found it was a little after eleven. I’d been motionless for more than an hour.

Enough moping, you, I thought, climbing back to my feet. I checked my phone.

Roman Avirio (11:16 A.M.): can u meet me at library? 15 min?

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Well, if he wasn’t going to leave it alone, the least I could do was make sure he didn’t do anything silly or get himself hurt. I threw on a black woolen sweater over my tank top, and a pair of jogging pants with thermal leggings underneath. I’d made it out my bedroom door before I stopped, returning to my room to grab a few things from the emergency survival bag I kept under my bed.

When I came down the stairs, Dad was sitting in the living room reading a newspaper, the T.V. droning in the background, mostly ignored.

“Going for a run?” he asked, glancing up from the paper for only a moment.

I nodded. “Gotta work off some of this restlessness.”

It wasn’t technically a lie. I was feeling restless, and I was going to run to the library. I got the feeling he wouldn’t approve of the likely confrontation I’d be heading towards.

“Be careful, watch for cars.”

I crossed the living room and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I paused when I reached the front hallway, and called back, “Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, Em.”

Things would be okay.

I left the house at a good pace. I’d need to cover some ground if I was to make it back to the public library in fifteen minutes. As I ran, I thought about the plan, about wizards, and about Cheri. A wicked idea struck me, and a grin spread over my face as I transitioned into a sprint, shedding the weight of the past behind me into the cold, bitter wind.

*******************************

When I arrived at the library, Roman was already in the basement, watching Adela from a distance. The girl was in the same seat as the recording, though it looked like she was reading a different book. She’d had her cast removed since yesterday. Roman motioned me into the relative darkness of his hiding spot, but I shook my head at him, handing him my bag as I passed by.

As I approached, Adela sighed, shutting the book and placing it in her lap. She fixed me with a cold stare.

“You wouldn’t believe how tiresome this sort of thing is becoming,” she said, the irritation clear in her voice.

“You might be surprised,” I told her wryly. She started to get up from her seat, and I held both hands up. “Wait, I’m not here to mess with you. My friend told me you were having trouble with bullies, that you’re new and haven’t really found a place in things yet.”

“Your friend? The blond kid? Spiky?”

I nodded. “Roman’s a good guy. He’s been in your shoes before, we all have.”

Adela sighed and sat back down. “What exactly do you want with me, then?”

“Nothing, really,” I said. “We just wanted to invite you to join our group. We’ve got a private space out on the edge of town where we mostly just do whatever we want. Work on improving however we can, and help each other out while doing it.”

Roman finally joined us, though he glared at me once he’d made it to the table. He offered Adela an awkward wave.

“Hey, Adela,” he said. “I’m-”

“The boy from yesterday,” she finished for him. “And last week, and after gym class and in the hall by my locker. Yes, I recognize you.”

Roman turned red, mumbling something unintelligible as he averted his gaze from Adela’s direct stare. It seemed Roman had been a little more involved with Adela than he’d originally let on. It didn’t make my role here any easier.

“Well, the invitation stands. I’ll give you my number, and you can give me a call if you ever feel up to it. We’re a pretty tight-knit group, but there’s only five of us, so I know there’s room for-”

“Six,” Roman said, interrupting me. “There’s six of us now, remember?”

I shushed him, hissing through my teeth, but Adela arched an eyebrow.

“You forgot how many you are?” she said amusedly. “Not so tight-knit, then?”

“Our newest member just joined us, and she’s not super official yet,” Roman said, eagerly jumping into the conversation now that Adela was showing a bit more interest. “She’s kind of a runaway, but she’s really cool and she’s teaching us about ma-”

“Roman,” I said loudly, “Let’s maybe keep the full details to ourselves until she decides she’s interested?”

Roman flushed again, and I offered Adela an apologetic smile. I didn’t think Cheri would really appreciate us flaunting our connection with her, like she was some sort of pet wizard, or a mascot. Admittedly, I’d forgotten to include her in my count, but I still think Roman was on the verge of starting to ramble.

Adela looked between Roman and me. After a moment, she stood from the table, gathering up the books she had scattered around and stacking them onto the one she’d been reading.

“Thank you for the offer,” she said eventually, “but I don’t really have the freedom to be joining clubs. My father is kind of strict, and I’ve got responsibilities after school.”

“Plus, she’s taken.”

It couldn’t be easy.

I turned and saw Xander standing a short distance away, leaning against a bookshelf that stood between us and the stairs to the ground floor. He was reasonably illuminated, so I didn’t see any of the strange transformation we’d seen in the footage, but the basement was even darker than it had appeared when watching the recording, so I was a little worried about how the encounter could go.

“She doesn’t belong to anyone, Xalaster,” I said, feeling my hackles raise. They were just so unpleasant, every time they interacted with me. “And I think you’d have to be pretty delusional to think she has any interest in being around you.”

Xander strode over to where I stood, just outside the direct light from overhead, and I saw the change happen. It didn’t seem to take any time, or at least not an increment of time I could track with my eyes. One moment he was striding through the light, a confident grin on his face, and the next he was standing in front of me, fully monstrous, looking all the world like a demon out of a horror movie. The horns that twisted out of his head made a full circle, curving backwards before turning down and ending with the point facing forward. They looked sharp, but to be fair, everything about him looked sharp.

I didn’t flinch as Xander reached up with one wickedly clawed hand and grabbed my chin, tilting my face up towards his.

“Proud,” he said, his voice unnaturally deep, almost guttural. “I’d have thought Julia had broken that pride already. She must be losing her touch.”

I grabbed the offending hand at the wrist, but as I expected, I couldn’t get it to budge an inch. It was like hauling on the arm of a statue. Strength, then, and speed. Couldn’t rule out senses either.

“Roman, now,” I said calmly.

Roman switched on the flashlight I’d given him, flooding Xander and I with bright light. I immediately felt the strength in Xander’s arm melt away, and I hauled him forward by my grip on his wrist during the moment of surprise. He stumbled towards me, one hand coming up to shield his eyes from the pressurized gas bulb that was nearly blinding the both of us.

I didn’t need to see for this next part. Everyone in the club had practiced simple takedowns like this hundreds of times, to the point where we could do them blindfolded. I placed my free hand on Xander’s elbow, locking the arm in its fully extended position, then pulled him around my body. The motion forced him to go the way I was moving him, or risk hyper-extending the arm. Once I had him suitably off-balance, I planted a foot in the back of his leg, driving him down to one knee.

He struggled briefly, but there were few things a person could do when held this way. Xander didn’t seem to have much muscle on me, and we were closer in weight than I’d have originally thought, so without his magic he could only tug impotently against my grip.

“Bitch,” he hissed, breathing heavily.

“Rude,” I said, leaning a bit more of my weight on his calf. He gave a pained cry as I did, and I relented after only a moment.

“I want you to leave us alone,” I told him once he was still. “All of us. I can’t help it if some people want to hang out with you, God only knows why, but for people who clearly don’t? You seem like a creep, but I can’t say you seem stupid. Get a clue.”

Xander was silent, which I took for resignation.

“You have power,” I went on. “You come from a different world than we do. I expect there are going to be issues. But just be decent. I don’t know what kind of backwards traditions you were raised on when it comes to Mundane people, but you’re not as untouchable as you think you are.”

I punctuated the statement by pulling his arm back a fraction more, prompting another groan from the incapacitated wizard.

“Do you understand?”

Xander looked over his shoulder at me, and I could see the bitter fury in his eyes. He tossed another glance at Roman, still holding the light on the two of us, before turning back forward and giving a resigned nod.

“Yeah, I get it. You win.”

I released his arm and stepped back and off of him. It took him a moment to stand back up, and he tested his weight on the leg I’d been standing on before turning to face me. I’ll admit that I was more than a little nervous. If he had some readily available countermeasure to the flashlight, like Cheri had mentioned, then I wasn’t sure I had enough backup plans to deal with how fast and how deadly Xander might be in total darkness.

Ultimately, I worried for nothing. Xander gave me an appraising look, then stepped back beneath the overhead light. He held one hand up between him and Roman’s flashlight, shielding his eyes.

“Alright, alright, I’m not gonna try anything,” he said, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Please turn that off, it’s insanely bright.”

Roman and I shared a look, and I held a hand up, palm down. Roman left the flashlight on, but lowered it so that it only covered Xander’s legs.

Xander blinked slowly, still rubbing his eyes. I had spots in my own vision from the prolonged exposure to the light, but it was better than the alternative.

“You might be right,” Xander said eventually. It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about. “We’re still recovering from some weird ideas regarding Mundanes. Some of us more than others.”

“You mean the Karalis pair?” I asked, though there wasn’t much need to.

He nodded. “Among others. I won’t bother you guys if you leave me alone, but let me stress this: You need to tread lightly around the two of them. They seem shallow, but there’s a familial cunning to the Karalis household, and it shows itself in how they operate. Be careful.”

With that, he turned and walked back through the shelves, and up the staircase. Roman met my eyes and I jerked my head toward the flight of stairs. He took his flashlight and posted up at the base, ready to illuminate Xander in case he had a change of heart.

I turned back to the table and, to my surprise, Adela was still there. She was regarding me with an odd look, something akin to curiosity, but she smiled and the expression was gone.

“That was well handled,” she noted, scooping up the double armful of books.

I laughed nervously. “I’m glad you approve. I know nothing about your situation has changed, in regards to us and the club, but I want you to know that you’re still welcome anytime. Just talk to Roman or my brother Tyler, in your grade.”

“I know him,” she said, nodding slowly. “And I’ll keep that in mind.”

She walked past me, and as she did, I couldn’t help but scan the stack of books she was holding. There were a few more historical texts about the city of Haden, but the book on the bottom caught my eye. It was more modern than the other dusty tomes, with bright, colorful text on the spine.

It read “How to Make Friends”.

I hid a smile as Adela paused and exchanged a few words with Roman, then climbed the staircase and disappeared from my sight. When I joined him at the foot of the stairs, Roman had a goofy smile on his face, so I could only assume that what he’d heard was encouraging.

“I’d better get back to class,” he said, turning off and handing me the flashlight. “Lunch’ll be over soon.”

“Before you go,” I said, pulling two slips of paper from my pocket, “I need you to deliver these letters. One for Jay and one for Tyler. Utmost importance.”

Roman looked slightly confused, but he resisted the no doubt overpowering urge to read the letters as we walked up the stairs. “Will do. What’re they for?”

“Get moving!” I said, affecting the authoritative tone I used when pretending my position as president of the Tryhard Club was more than just a joke that Jay and Marika liked to play. “That’s an order!”

He scowled at me, but jogged off toward the exit all the same. I followed in his wake, nodding an apology to an incredibly offended librarian, and stopped at the bookshelf closest to the door. It was the new releases shelf, covered in all manner of brightly colored fiction, from fantasy to the more recent book-to-movie, back-to-book sort of promotionals.

I slid a book off the shelf, opening it to a point just past halfway through before turning my back to the shelf.

“I know better than most,” I spoke to the book, “how hard it can be to accept a helping hand. You don’t want to seem weak to others. You don’t want to seem weak to yourself.”

A small rustling behind me was my only answer.

“I just wanted to say that I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. And if you did decide to change your mind…”

I trailed off, letting the silence linger.

“If I changed my mind,” Adela said from the other side of the shelf. “Where would I go?”