It had been a while since I'd pricked my finger while sewing.
My fur covered the hint of blood that pooled up, though it was only a tiny cut; it would be unnoticeable within an hour. I'd have time to let it heal before my sister or Korey would return home, and Sinsa would probably be too engrossed in his work as he had been recently, so it could heal without bothering any of them. They were worrywarts, the lot of them.
The garb I'd been working on, thankfully, hadn't gotten stained by the results of my momentary daydreaming. I really should be paying attention; trying to make a garb based on the clothes Korey had arrived in just by studying them was more work then I'd expected.
It had been hard to get a read on Korey. It was clear he was kind, if a bit awkward, but something hung over him that made him sad. And not in the same way others were. Sinsa was happy most of the time, and when he was worried over someone or frustrated at himself, it was easy to tell from his face and demeanor. I tried to cheer him up and distract him when I could, but sometimes it felt like more than I could fix with my diversions. Pransai was more guarded, but when you lived with her as long as I had, it was clear when she had pushed herself too far; how her wit and patience wore thin when she was exhausted, and how she took a strange pride in that. I knew how she was hurting herself, but I didn't know how to get her to stop, other than to make sure I took as many of the things off her plate as possible.
But Korey's was deeper; whatever caused it hardly seemed tied to actions or others. It was like he walked around sad, and whenever it was at it's worst, that was when he made the most effort to make someone else happy.
I still remembered the first night he'd arrived, and I'd still had my misgivings about him. I remembered how I'd slipped silently down the hall, how I'd crouched at the keyhole to our guest room. And I remembered the sight of shiny tears on his face as he'd gazed out the window, looking out at the stars. I'd hated myself all over again feeling suspicious of him and then spying on his hurt.
Then, in the morning, with that same air of melancholy I'd caught a glimpse of that night, was when I found him up cooking breakfast. And he'd taken time to show me how to cook a new, easy meal. And he'd done it kindly, and when I tried to look into his eyes, he'd close them and smile so I wouldn't see what thoughts cooking that meal brought back to him.
I was the only one who could see it, and I didn't know how to help at all. And unlike usual, I didn't even know what was wrong.
So I did the things I could do. I cooked, and I cleaned, and I sewed, and I did all the things that no one else could do as well as I could. The shirt I held, roughly half completed, was a testament to that. Korey wasn't very forthcoming about his wants, but I'd been able to glean some colors he liked. Mostly light colors; blues and yellows and pinks especially.
I worked at it for hours, slowly sewing, and making careful cuts, and backtracking when I'd realized I'd made a mistake. The process absorbed me, allowed me to tune out the rest of the world and my worries. Just the simple repetitive actions, that made the time fly.
Eventually I heard the front door open, and then the sound of voices downstairs. I carefully put away my sewing materials and folded the now two thirds finished piece as neatly as I could, and set it beneath my bed. I made my way down the steps, avoiding the one's that creaked, as it always made me happy to be able to move silently.
Korey and Sinsa were talking at his desk. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught the tail end of their conversation.
"... it really won't b-be any problem. I ac-actually enjoy writing things other than spell circle's, b-but I don't get much opportunity to."
"Hey, much appreciated. I know I can't actually spellcraft, but it would be nice to know with a little more certainty what the spells I'm powering are going to do before I poor mana in. No more surprise sirens please." Korey laughed and ducked his head.
"What're you trying to write Sinsa?" I inquired.
"Oh, hi Casai, um Korey was asking if I c-could write down some of the basics of magic for them. We d-don't really have any b-books about the b-basics, so, even though I'm sure it won't be-"
"I'm sure it'll be even better than the books would have been, you're a great teacher." Korey cut off the beginning of Sinsa's self deprecation.
Sinsa looked away, embarassed "Well, either way, I'll be writing that for Korey."
I nodded. I'd never been particularly interested in spellcrafting. Anything past the basic spells quickly became quite complicated, and my mana pool was only average, so I didn't really have a reason to learn. It was good that Sinsa had someone to teach, and that Korey had something that he was uniquely suited for right away. It was hard to tell, but his sadness seemed hesitant when the topic of magic came up. Maybe that was the route that I could use to figure out what was wrong...
The sounds of footsteps preceded the door opening once more, as Pransai came through, having finished her hunting for the day. She had been determined the last few days, and I could tell the fatigue was starting to get to her again. She did a good enough job hiding it though, that when Sinsa turned to look to her and beam, he failed to clock it.
She smiled and came up to the three of us gathered around the desk "Greetings, how fared each of your days?"
As we each answered, I felt a tiny pang of sorrow in my chest. We'd moved to Tinsen when I was very young, but Pransai had managed to keep our home dialect. I'd hardly had time to learn it before our family had settled here though, so I'd never really been able to naturally replicate it. It felt like another layer of distance between our parents and me that I had.
As I was ruminating, Pransai's eyes drifted toward a bowl of cold stew sitting untouched on Sinsa's desk. He had been neglecting or forgetting to take care of himself more often lately, as he had become absorbed in his research in the past month. Pransai's brow began to furrow, as she looked at Sinsa with worry. I knew she meant well, but the way that Pransai tried to get through to Sinsa did not work well for him. It just made him dejected. I wanted to stop her, but I didn't know how. How to make sure everyone was happy, and safe, and taken care of, and well rested, and...
"Hey Sinsa, how difficult would it be to make a spell that kept my lunch warm when I was off in the fields? Myphra's food is good, but I'd love to be able to take Casai's cooking with me." Korey got his question in as Pransai was opening her maw, cutting off her question. His tone was casual, but had he done that on purpose?
"Oh, I'm not sure, it d-doesn't sound too difficult, but the box would have to keep heat in... unless I made a circle that... and if I..." Sinsa turned back toward his desk and started scribbling something down.
"It would be a huge help, and Pransai might be able to make use of it too, right?" He turned his gaze to Pransai.
"I suppose something like that would be advantageous, yes" Pransai answered, nodding slowly.
"Oh, and uh, you could make one for your desk, in case you forget your food."
Sinsa paused, remembering his food for the first time, but his expression wasn't dejected. More determined, now that there might be a way that he could solve this problem, in a way that he was confident in. Pransai looked proud to see Sinsa working on a spell, and relieved that he might be able to better take care of himself, at least in one way. I released a small breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding in.
"Well, I'll leave you to that, I'm going to put away the hunting supplies." Korey began to make their way to the door.
"You need not deal with that Korey, it is my duty-"
"Don't worry Pransai, I really just want to get more acquainted with the layout of the shed out back, it feels ginormous in there. You should get sleep, you're hunting tomorrow as well, right?" He said, as the door shut behind him.
Pransai started toward the door, but stopped after a pace. She was tired, and was most definitely going to try hunting further abroad again tomorrow. She nodded to herself, and turned back toward me.
"It was good to see you briefly, but I am going to retire. Sleep well." she gave me a small hug before heading toward the stairs.
"You too."
I stood there a moment with my thoughts, watching her leave. I hadn't known how to help anyone. I'd seen problems coming, and then they had all been resolved. It had been too perfect, he had to have done it on purpose. I wanted to know how to that too.
That was the thought on my mind as I scrambled out the door to catch Korey.
***
***
BANG! CRASH! POW!
I winced as I knocked over several rakes, hoes, and scythes piled against the wall in the shed. 'Shed' was really not the correct word to use. It had once housed several sheep during the cold months, according to Pransai, though it wasn't big enough to be called a barn. It was only one room, though it was nearly thirty feet wide, and fifty long, with a set of wide doors meant for letting animals in, and another normal sized door against one wall. The ground was covered in a layer of the same grain that I had spent so much time helping harvest in the fields, though relieved of the part that made it worth harvesting in the first place.
The bow, several quivers, and other supplies in my arms obscured my vision, as I clumsily made my way through the cluttered space. Pransai had shown me where everything went, a little over a week ago, though not having had to think about it since, I was struggling to remember where everything went. I think the extra quivers were hung up here? Or maybe over here...
"You did that on purpose, didn't you."
I dropped what I was holding and nearly gave myself whiplash with the speed I turned around. Casai was standing a few paces behind me, arms crossed. She had an uncanny ability to move silently when she wanted to.
"Goodness, you scared me. OH, and of course I didn't mean to knock those over, I was going to pick them up as soon-"
"I meant Sinsa and Pransai. You stopped them from arguing." Her gaze was locked onto me, tracking my expression.
"You saw that Pransai was hiding her tiredness, you saw that Sinsa hadn't eaten his food, and you saw there was going to be conflict. And you stopped it. Not just stopped it, you made it better, for both of them."
My mouth opened but no words came out to deny it. She had caught me. Casai had always been quick to catch on to things. It didn't surprise me that she had also noticed Pransai and Sinsa's states.
"Yes I did, but I really didn't do much. I mean, Sinsa still has to find a way to make that new spell, and anytime Pransai could get extra rest-" I tried to downplay what I'd done. I really didn't like taking credit for manipulating people. Even if it was for their benefit.
"How? How do you know what to say to make people feel alright? How do you help them without them noticing?" The intensity of her questioning surprised me. It didn't seem like negative though, more like she needed to hear my explanation.
I took a moment to mull my answer over. "Honestly? I don't know how to not. Every time I'm talking to someone, I'm trying to gauge their exact emotions and state, so that I know what to say. Because it doesn't come naturally. If I don't do that, I'll say the wrong thing, or accidentally hurt someone's feeling, kinda like Sinsa can do sometimes." It was difficult to relate the experience, but I could tell Sinsa had the same difficulty as me. "But really, it's kinda just been a lot of practice, my whole life. A lot of saying the wrong thing, and hurting someone with my lack of tact. And I hated that, so, I guess I just figured out how to never do that, and it resulted in me doing the opposite."
Casai scrunched her snout at me "That sounds... like a lot of work."
I laughed "Yeah, it might be a bit too difficult to learn, but I can always give advice-"
"I meant it sounds like a lot of work for you. To be doing that all the time."
I was caught a bit off guard by that. I guess it did take effort, but I didn't know any other way, at least not one that gave adequate results.
I shrugged. "Like I said, I don't know how to not, and I don't mind it too much. Even selfishly, I really enjoy getting to make people feel better. The over analysis probably helps with that."
Casai looked down for a moment, taking in what I'd said. Then she took a deep breath and looked back at me, a look of pleading and hope in her eyes.
"I... I see the ways that they accidentally hurt each other. And I know that they're really good people, both of them, and that they are doing it out of love and worry. But I don't know how to help them. I can see what's wrong, but not how to fix it." Her eyes had started to mist and her voice had wavered through the first part, but now found its strength taking a few steps closer. "But you can. It comes easy to you, or at least easier than it comes to me. And I want them to be alright. So please, can you help them? Help them be more open, and understanding, and whatever it is that they need? Can you be there for them?"
Casai was one of the most capable people I'd meant since I'd arrived in this world. She was emotionally intelligent, kind, and diligent in everything she did. She knew how to do so many things like sewing, cooking, and hunting, likely out of necessity, and was an expert in almost all of them. She made such effort to be responsible, and was so witty that it was easy to treat her like the others without thinking.
It was in this moment though, as she pleaded with me to help her do something she didn't know how to, that she looked younger than she ever had before. A fourteen year old girl who had grown up too quickly, who had foisted responsibility on herself faster than she was ready for, and who needed help.
"Of course I'll help." The words were out of my mouth before my brain had fully given them the go-ahead, but when my thoughts caught up, they were on board too. No part of me could possibly deny this request. "I've already been doing that a little, so putting in more effort to help out won't be any problem. I promise, I'll make sure to help them as much as I can, to communicate better, and to make them both be willing to take care of themselves, as best I can."
Casai clasped her arms in front of her, nodding. I took a step toward her and hugged her. She accepted it, and clung tightly to me for a moment.
"Sorry to be asking so much of you. I know it isn't a fair request, but-"
"But I promised, and I always keep my promises." She broke from the hug, nodded and smiled, but there was just the hint of wetness in her eyes still.
"Here, I know I haven't had many opportunities yet to prove that I can keep a promise yet, so how about this. Tonight, I promise to cook dinner. Then I'll have a hundred percent success rate in promise fulfillment in this world. That's something worth putting your trust in, right?"
She laughed softly, bringing a paw up to wipe the tears away, and nodded, her smile a little more genuine now.
"Yes, I'll my trust in that. And thank you, for helping them."
"Of course, always." I smiled at her.
As she left the shed, I turned back to the supplies I'd dropped and did my best to find where they went.
***
***
As I left the shed and closed the door, quietly under my breath to myself, I whispered. "Now I can focus on helping you."