It wasn't going to work.

All the research I'd poured myself into had been for nought.

The Floralum sat there, paying no mind to me as I put two pairs of hands on my head and one pair folded across my desk. The plants normalcy mocked me; the residue of a months worth of useless experiments lay at its roots.

There was a core flaw in the way I'd been creating the spells that had seemed to be bearing fruit, sometimes literally. The spells had targeted specific organs within the plants, in order to encourage certain changes within them. But every growth or modification that I had been able to extract, was one the plant had the ability to manifest on its own. I could turn the leaves different colors, because they would do so in the fall, and my spell had simply tricked the plant into breaking down whatever made it green early. The most transformative thing I'd managed was producing thorns in a Floralum that wasn't supposed to be able to produce thorns. Only half of Floralum plants produced thorns, while the other half produced flowers with smooth stems. I had managed to get a flowering plant to produce thorns, but even then, I had needed a thorny plant as one of the targets, to replicate what had caused it to produce thorns into the other plant.

But that still relied on it being something the plant could naturally do. In order to make something truly unique change, I'd need to understand exactly how the thorns were formed on one plant, how the inner workings functioned, and then craft a spell that replicated that whole process. It would be a monumental, and also entirely different, task.

Meaning all the work I'd done, every moment I'd spent thinking I was inching my way toward fulfilling Korey's request, had been wasted. They had asked for spikes, and growth, and I could only affect the curl of their hair or the color of their eyes, neither of which needed changing. 

Another wave of shame washed over me. Now that I'd failed, it was even more egregious how poorly I had been at helping our household. Pransai was still out hunting, likely farther afield than I was comfortable with, considering how she had dodged the question of where she had been hunting recently. She had left saying she'd return in 3 days, which would mean she'd be back tonight. Casai was out today as well, delivering the finished result of several sewing jobs across town. Even Korey was out helping with the last of the harvest, before the cold arrived in earnest. And I had done nothing to help us. I couldn't even take care of myself, and had to rely on them for that too. If not for the small box keeping my lunch fresh, it would once again be wasted on me.

I wasn't sure if I'd spoken to anyone outside of our home in the past two weeks. Everyday had been so tiring, trying to make the breakthrough I now knew impossible, that I hadn't had the energy to go out. I'd barely had the energy to spend time with the others when they were back from working.

Sitting quietly in our home, I felt lonely.

I was reminded of my room back in my childhood home, white stone walls on every side of me, but no windows leading outside. No way to even imagine an escape. A house full of people on the other side of my doorway, and not one of them who would treat me like a person. At least there...

No, even wallowing in self pity, I couldn't bring myself to wish to be back there. Even if it was selfish to be here, dragging the people I loved down, I couldn't imagine entertaining the idea of that place being better.

The front door opened, though I didn't look up from my desk. I didn't want to face anyone right now, let them know how much their effort surpassed my own, least of all...

The familiar sound of Pransai's paws making their way toward me made me dig my head deeper into my hands. How could I admit to her my failure in the face of the tremendous effort she put forth to take care of me. How could I possibly add something to her plate when she had just returned from a hunting trip, likely somewhere dangerous in order to keep us all fed. How could I-

Her paw rested on my shoulder. It felt cool to the touch... no that wasn't quite right. "Sinsa..."

Her voice was too soft, and it sounded strained. The paw she rested on my shoulder hadn't been cold, it had been wet, and that wetness had now soaked through my robes. I opened my eyes to see a red stain rapidly spreading across my desktop. My head shot up, and I beheld the injury that Pransai carried.

Her left arm hung limply at her side, several bite marks still bleeding steadily from it. Her left side was in even worse shape, with her leather armor torn, and a large gash in her side that had been roughly bandaged. Her stance was wobbly, and she was pale.

Her maw moved, but my shock meant it took a moment for me to process her words.

"... you must remember to eat when I'm gone."

As she finished her sentence she collapsed into me.

***

***

The wind whipped through my fur as I sat motionless in the treetops near the riverbank. The chill on the early morning air made my heart race. It was so close to winter. This very well might be my last good chance for a successful hunt before the snow started. The river ran along, burbling softly, blissfully unaware of the goings on of the world. At the edge of the water, a small herd of Peryton. Creatures much like Pegasi, though with slightly smaller wings, and with pronged horns the came out of their heads.

I'd been tracking them for the past several miles, and had gone further afield than I had anticipated. It had been a day since I'd left, and I had promised Sinsa I'd return in three days. So long as my arrow struck true, I would be able to keep that promise with time to spare.

I waited for the wind to lull, took a deep breath, and loosed the arrow unto the unsuspecting herd. It sliced through the air, the low whistle it gave off doing little to alert the animals below.

THWIP!

The large male Peryton I'd targeted made a single leap into the air, before crumpling down onto the ground. The rest scattered quickly, disappearing into the brushwood, sensing they had a better chance escaping into the woods than into the sky.

I dropped quietly from my perch, and made my way over to inspect my work. The shot was clean, the Peryton lay still beside the river. It was big enough that it would likely provide the remaining food we would need for the winter, especially with Korey's contribution from the farm. I let loose a small sigh of release as I knelt by the carcass, the light spray of the river to my left.

I wasn't sure what tipped me off. Possibly it was a small sound only my subconscious heard. Perhaps it was a shift on the wind that allowed me to catch an unfamiliar scent. Maybe it was just luck. Whatever it was though, likely saved my life.

I twisted and sprung up, meaning that the beast missed my midsection, and instead bit down on my arm which I raised to defend myself. The pain was immediate and sharp; the weight of the thing pushed me back through the air, water flying off of it into my eyes.

A ginormous serpent had erupted from the river, striking at me as it found me crouched by the river bank. As we both flew through the air, I realized that If I was trapped under the thing when we landed, I'd have no way to continue fighting. I twisted in the air, leveraging my trapped left arm, causing a further flash of pain, and unsheathed my sword with my right. As the serpent and I came down hard, I managed to position myself atop its head, having to lean across it due my arm still being caught in its jaws. I tried to stab my sword through its eye, though I only managed to stab the outer layer, before it writhed in pain and threw me off of it, finally letting go of my arm. It let loose a terrible, angry sound that made my fur stand on end.

HISSSSSSS!!!!

I landed about 15 feet away, managing to keep on my paws, and took a moment to analyze what the situation. My arm was limp at my side, and bleeding from the serrated fangs that had pierced me. The serpent was primarily dark grey, with a dappled pattern of browns across it's back, and a light underbelly. It's slitted eye that remained undamaged glared at me with a hatred born of pain. It was nearly 40 feet long, and nearly as thick as a tree around. It's body tapered off into a tail that...

I leapt backward as the thing's tail whipped toward me. The tip tapered off into a sharp bony end, which grazed my left side as I dodged away. Blood sprayed in a semicircle off the end of it's tail from my new wound. While still off balance, the serpent rushed toward me, attempting to finish the fight. I did my best to catch my footing and held my sword in front of me with my one good arm as the beast bore down on me.

It was likely relying on its natural armor to protect it while it crushed me in a single strike. A plan that almost certainly would have worked, if not for Sinsa.

My blade glowed blue for a moment, as I activated the spell circles on the blade. Sinsa had spent weeks coming up with a way to make the spell as mana efficient as possible, only activating on contact, only sharpening the very minute edge of the blade, all so that I could use it with my limited mana.

It was exactly thanks to that fine tuning that the blade passed through the serpent and split it vertically down its center. Both halves of it rushed past me on either side, as I held my ground as long as I could. I only maintained the spell for a moment, and when I was forced to release it the remaining weight of the slain beast slammed against my sword and flung me backwards. I felt something crack in my chest, as I finally came to a stop against a tree.

I was covered in blood, though thankfully the majority was not mine. My legs were bruised, but luckily hadn't taken much of the damage from the attack. My entire left side, however, was a mess of injuries; I was still losing blood fairly quickly, and my adrenaline would only keep me upright for so long.

"Im, Remek!"

The soft glow of healing whorled beautifully around me, but died out quickly. My bleeding had slowed, and I had heard an additional crack in from my ribs as something snapped back into place, but I was still in a terrible state. I moved to the river, and did my best to wash myself of mine and beasts gore, and began to bandage what I could.

I had left for the hunt a day ago, and had made it less than a days straight journey from home. I would be able to make my way back and seek the healing aid I required, and still be home a full day earlier than I had expected.

But then I would have failed, and we wouldn't have the food we required for the cold months. I would be stuck in bed for days, and the meat I had slain here would be picked dry and be spoiled by then.

I looked across the battlefield I had created, and regarded the two slain beasts. In my bag was a spell Sinsa had prepared that ate through mana slowly, which allowed the weight of an object to be greatly lessened. Korey had filled the spell before I left, with enough mana to make it easier to carry anything I managed to take down for the full 3 days I had planned to be gone.

It would take me longer to return if I did, but I made the decision, blocked out the pain, and removed the still glowing spell from its holster.

***

***

"...ansai, P-Pransai!" The panic in Sinsa's voice brought me back from my momentary lapse of consciousness. I had managed to stay on my paws the last two times that had happened, but apparently the relief I had felt upon making my way home had dulled that ability.

Even if I wasn't alright, I'd made it back with everything, so they would be.

My head was foggy, and it took several moments for my hearing to catch up with my thoughts.

"...what happened t-to... I need t-to find... I d-don't have mana, I c-can't cast... the wounds are so deep, how d-did you even..." Sinsa's words struggled to catch up with his thoughts. I thought it was funny when he did that. I reached my arm up to brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes, but it refused to respond to that command. 

Why was that again?

"I have to find s-someone... b-but it's t-too much... K-Korey, Korey would have enough... b-but they're so far..." His tone was getting more and more distraught as he held me.

For a moment, my lucidity returned. My wounds were too severe, I had miscalculated. If I had gone into town, I might have been fine, but in my wearied state, my only thought had been to make it home. 

Sinsa was frozen, panic and horror and sadness mixed together as he worked through every option he had, none of which would be fast enough.

"I am sorry, Sinsa." With the arm of mine that still worked, I reached up and put it around him, bringing him closer to me. I could feel the hot tears as they rolled down his cheek onto me.

We held each other for a moment, resigned to the knowledge that neither of us had the ability to heal the wounds.

"Sinsa, we got done early with the last of the harvest, I think it would be good for you if you..." the sound of a voice from the back door rang through the house as Korey appeared from the other room.

"HEALING, N-NOW!"

I only had a moment to be afraid of how loudly Sinsa had yelled before the room was filled with brilliant and blinding wave of green light. I was forced to close my eyes from the amount of mana in the air. My wounds closed themselves faster than I had ever seen the spell work before, my arm twisted back into the correct position, and I felt my body flush with lost blood. Even the fog in my mind was lifted.

Korey stood there, wide eyed from shock and panting from the sudden unexpected exertion.

Sinsa was still holding onto my tightly, when Korey came over and knelt beside us, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened to you?"

I sat up, bracing myself against the floor with my left paw. The pain had completely subsided, and my arm was responding like it was supposed to again. Sinsa moved back in order to let me rise to a sitting position, but kept a hold of my paw with a pair of his hands, with another hand resting on my thigh.

"I followed the river, searching for game along its path for a day. I found tracks of a small herd and caught up to them early the next morning. I took one down, but at the waters edge I was attacked by a large serpent. That was what gave me my injuries." I tried not to embellish the story, as it certainly would cause them undo fright and worry. 

"A-and your injuries slowed you d-down on the return journey, which is why you arrived late t-today?" Sinsa's voice was soft and full of pity.

"I was slowed, though not solely due to my injuries. I couldn't leave the kills there."

Both of their brows furrowed, confused by what I meant.

"What d-do you mean?"

"It might have been my last chance to hunt for us, so I carried their meat with me using your spell. I mistook how far I could make it though." But I had gotten enough meat to last us through the winter and still yet more. Even if Korey hadn't arrived, they would have been provided for.

A small gasp escaped Korey's lips. He looked aghast at what I had said. "Pransai, that was incredibly dangerous, you didn't need to..."

Sinsa's grip on my hand tightened, I turned my gaze to him and was shocked. In all the time I had known him, he had never been one to raise his voice or even dislike someone outwardly. His voice was always soft, and his responses always measured, except when it came to himself. The worst things I had ever heard him say had been against himself, and even then it had only been disappointment or shame on his face. But that was not the look he held now.

Now, his eyes were furious.

"You took the time to drag c-carcasses a full day, at the risk of your own health? How lowly d-do you think of us. You haven't just exhausted yourself, you nearly died!" his voice was raised in earnest, a slight tinge of panic under toning his anger.

"We needed food, I got it." if I wasn't bringing it, how would they make it through? My exhaustion was getting the better of me.

"If you mean to k-kill yourself for food, then I'll refuse to eat it! I'd follow right after you if you did that!" I was still shaky from the memory of my injuries, but now I shook even more. Even hearing him say that made my blood boil; all of this had been for them!

"You are already doing so, with your refusal to care for yourself despite my efforts. I would not have needed to take the risk if you could be responsible for yourself!"

I regretted the words as soon as the left my maw. His expression made me wish I could bury the words and make everyone forget they had ever been uttered. The core of his worry, and in my panic and hurt and fear after what had happened, I had thrown it in his face. He pulled away from me. I needed to let him know I had not meant it. To let him know that I wished he could be happy working on spells for the rest of his life with, and that I could be at his side to make that happen.

I reached out a paw to him,"I swear I did not mean it."

As I leaned toward him, my exhaustion got the best of me. I had used to much mana sustaining myself. Even after healing, my exhaustion remained. The last thing I saw were the tears in Sinsa's eyes.

***

***

Sinsa and I both caught Pransai as she fell forward, keeping her head from hitting the ground.

After what had just happened, I felt bad asking Sinsa, but I needed to make sure. "Uh, should I cast more healing on her, or..."

Sinsa's voice was quiet, as his gaze stayed fixed on her. "She overex-x-xerted her mana. Healing won't help anymore, she needs rest."

Carefully, we both lifted her up and began walking her toward her room. Sinsa's eyes were still misty behind his glasses.

"She didn't mean that, you know. Her expression"

"I know th-that she didn't mean it, b-but she wasn't wrong. My t-tests for the p-past two months have lead nowhere. If I had been able t-t0 do more, we could have had more t-to eat. And she wouldn't have had to t-take that risk. And almost d-d-died." The tears had once again welled in his eyes.

"And I yelled at her! She just nearly d-died, and I was b-berating her. How c-could I!?" The anguish in his voice hurt my heart just to hear. I couldn't imagine feeling the emotion that had caused it.

"You were afraid, both of you. You'll need time, but I'm sure you can work through it. Even your argument was born out of love for each other." Not that it had been the most healthy 'loving' argument, but now wasn't the moment to voice that.

In fact, now wasn't the moment to be focusing on the emotional state of everyone, since the physical state was still questionable. We finally arrived at their bedroom, and lay Pransai down onto the bed. Sinsa sat beside her, holding her paw in one of his hands, as he looked at her with worry.

"I'm going to find what she did with the meat she brought back. After all that, I can't let it go to waste." Sinsa nodded, still staring at Pransai as I left the room. First, I would make sure everything was taken care of that I could while Pransai rested.

The thing that really terrified me, now that I was sure Pransai was okay, was how to get the both of them to communicate healthily. I felt out my depth; how could I possibly fix that level of hurt and miscommunication lack of good coping mechanisms.

As I left through the front door, I let out a small sigh. I spoke aloud to myself. "But I promised." And I had a 100% fulfillment rate on my promises so far. And since I meant to keep that rate, I began to contemplate how to make them better communicate with each other.