Chapter 1 - Meet Joe

   The man was asleep. A young man, and not particularly remarkable in physical appearance. He wasn't ugly by any stretch, but he was certainly not the big winner of the genetic lottery. He was never going to have that winning smile, the rugged good looks that made women swoon and fight over who got to sit next to him and talk to him. He wasn't short at a hair over six foot tall, yet he didn't have that towering height some men have that seem to grant them physical god-hood walking around. Other men fear and respect men that big, and women crave them.

   No. He was a little above average height, but nothing outlandish. His build was rather ordinary, given his height. Not the biggest guy in the world, though not a complete skinny rail. He had grown out of his beanpole stage and filled out a little as he matured. Again, nothing particularly remarkable. He lifted weights and exercised regularly, but he was never going to be that big huge guy. Again, a little above average only.

   His intelligence was probably his best gift. From childhood, some children are obviously smarter than the other children. They read earlier, they read well, and early school comes quite easily to them. His parents were quite proud of their little genius. He had to go to college, that much seemed obvious. Mathematics and computer science came easily to him. He could get through classes in courses like chemistry and physics, but it wasn't his forte. Even mathematics he found somewhat... taxing. But he could get by advanced math classes.

   It was his computer science where he shined. Above average, but ability is no guarantee of financial success. Many brilliant academics are doomed to a decent life, while the men with money and connections and advantages find them and make use of their talents. They make millions off of what they can do? And the brilliant academic himself is... well, more or less a commodity or a product themselves to men such as that.

   Tired of a life of above average but no blistering success forthcoming out of it, he decided to go back to graduate school. Computer science didn't seem to hold anything for him? Except more of the same he had already experienced. A little better pay, and the chance to watch some other man with money and connections, make even more off of what he could do. He thought about it? And said thank you but no. What else was there?

   While he was no great fan of higher mathematics, and with no real choice what to go into for graduate school... he chose to get his masters in mathematics. No standout in this world, he got by. A graduate student without any real ability to stand out? His life would be the same as before. Used, but now used for something other than some man's greed.

   No one likes to be the obviously higher intellect, then made fun of and ordered to "go make me more money". By a man that was born into a family with lots of money, and a haughty buy you and sell you attitude. Enduring lectures how this man, who couldn't perform the computer programming work he could? Was better. Because he didn't know all that stuff. No. He? Was better. Because he could see "the big picture". And academics were a dime a dozen.

   So? The man quietly one day walked into the Vice President's office. He didn't scream, yell, or carry on. He simply talked with an odd smile on his face. Very calm, actually. He took the Vice President up on his challenge. If I am truly, as you say, completely replaceable. A dime a dozen I believe is how you always phrase it. Well? Then tendering my resignation won't affect you in the slightest. I've completed my last project. We haven't started the next one. Get another dime. I'm out of here.

   Taken by surprise, the Vice president first thought he was trying to play hardball and get a raise. He dismissed his challenge. After all? The VP was the one who knows how to play the big game. Not this egghead. He dared him to leave.

   When he said okay, and offered his two weeks notice? The VP doubled down. Fuck two weeks. I'll sign off on you offering it. You don't want to be here? Get the hell out. I'll get two more of you, to replace you tomorrow. He said fine, and walked out.

   The VP recognized his error in his "big picture" calculations quick. Computer programmers like the one that had walked out because of how he had been treated? Were in fact, not a dime a dozen. But treating people as playthings, had always kept the VP on top of everyone. That was why he did it. When it became apparent that he had made a mistake, he tried to rectify it.

   He tried offering the man a raise. That didn't work. And it shocked him. What worker doesn't want more money? The President, his father, was pissed. He had mismanaged a valuable commodity. The VP was sent to try again. What did he want to come back.

   The man was already accepted to graduate school, it was why he had made his move. He told him. It wasn't the money. He liked working there, because he got to work on big computer programming jobs. It was what he craved, not money. That part, he liked. But, being treated the way he was? That wouldn't do. Not at all. So? he was gone. The president, the VP's father tried to bring him back. He was friendly with the old man, but he said no.

   The company? Didn't go under. But, it did take a step back in importance. They had needed the man, and the VP had run him off with his attitude. Now back at graduate school, a degree in mathematics isn't a clear cut path to any particular job. He could go back into programming, or maybe something else. Not knowing in particular what exactly to do? He got accepted into a doctorate program. Competency in mathematics, allowed him to get basically a graduate degree in physics, but with a PhD when he graduated.

   There is no specific amount of time, like undergraduate school. For your associates or bachelors? You take these classes, you pass them. You get this degree. Masters? Same thing, but you had to propose a master's thesis and get it accepted. He passed that hurdle.

   But doctoral candidacy was different. You could complete the coursework, and land in limbo. There was no telling how long it would take to get your doctoral thesis approved, then how long it would take to work on it to get it accepted. So you could take your doctoral degree and get that wonderful "doctor" tacked onto your name.

   Limbo. As a doctoral candidate in this limbo state? He taught classes. Computer science and mathematics classes. As not a full professor, the pay was below junior professors. But, it was a job. He didn't mind it. Teaching college classes was something, anyways. Sure, he had bosses to account to. But nothing overbearing like he had encountered in the computer programming field working for businessmen. He enjoyed the small measure of respect he got when he entered the college classroom, as the teacher.

   He was a lackluster graduate student, not groomed to exactly set the academic world on fire. Still, he was obviously able to teach college classes at his university. Earning his PhD finally, would lead to full professorship at some point in time. The university? Would prolong that as long as possible. For practical reasons. With pay and benefits below junior professor, but getting the work of any other full professor out of him teaching? A bargain.

   But, this time around it was better. The university had to smile and be nice to him. No more fuck you attitude from some dim rich man's son convinced how superior he was, for being smart enough to be born into money and connections. Caught in this limbo of doctoral candidacy? He had room and board. Doctoral candidates get private apartments, not the shared apartments the masters students received.

   A decent private apartment. Free breakfast lunch and dinner. A small but workable salary. A little office at the far end of the professor's row. He suspected it was a converted broom closet? But it had his name on the door. He liked his tiny little office. He decided that it was mediocrity, but it was a fine sort of mediocrity. This felt better, than being paid more but getting taken advantage of and all but sneered at.

   After all, if you're going to be taken advantage of anyways? The people or system doing it should acknowledge that you're agreeing to help them, and be all smiles about it. He liked the little things. As a part time professor, he had his own parking space. The parking pass to park in the lots close to the buildings. He could sit in or even take any class he felt like, to add to his growing transcript.

   The library and research opportunities? Among the best. This was one of the top universities he had squeaked into for his masters and now his possible doctorate. Grad students don't pay for classes or books nor any fees. Room and board were automatic, and better now that he was a doctoral candidate and teaching. The pay while not great? Enough to live on and save for things. Free time to pursue intellectual hobbies such as he enjoyed. He enjoyed exercise, and all the top of the line gyms around campus.

   He had graduated high school at 18. A state university where he got his associates then his bachelors in applied computer science. He graduated with his associates and bachelors at 22. He worked for a few years at his computer programming job. Then, while he still had the chance? He applied for and got the go ahead that he was accepted at a bigger university than his undergraduate degrees came from, mainly on account of his good grades as an undergraduate then his work as a computer programmer in his field.

   He was now 31. That stage of a young man's life, the crossroads. Enough experience, to maybe really choose his destiny. To really leave his mark on the world. Or? To accept and begin to appreciate a lifetime of mediocrity. He had options. He was well enough thought of as an instructor, that he could "cut and run" with his masters. He could accept the perennially offered junior professorship. He would get the small office regular professors received. His broom closet? Would be traded in for something slightly bigger. Down in professor's row, not at the far end of it. His parking space would say Professor Carpenter, and it would be his. The name on his little office would have the word "professor" in front of it. He would miss the "doctor" in front of his name on the door, though. Only full PhD's could teach graduate courses.

   Pay was better. But that would get traded in for his own apartment and having to suddenly pay for food. He'd have to teach a few more classes each semester, and it would eat up his free and hobby time. Really, it wasn't that much different than his own condition now. Why not keep trying to get a doctoral thesis accepted and completed. Why give up, why not reach for the brass ring, full professor and that "doctor" on his door. That sweet little "PhD" tacked onto his legal name on his drivers license. The extra pay and benefits and prestige it brought.

   He came this far, and it was even far enough if this was as far as he got. A fine mediocrity is better than no mediocrity at all. And with the constant chance to make good. Still, at 31? He was running the risk of falling into the trap of becoming what was joked if even affectionately as a "career student".

   He had decided that was okay. There were worse things to become in life, after all. Life was... okay. It wasn't great? But it wasn't bad. Okay was slightly short of good, but that wasn't a bad place to be. That crossroads of a young man's life.

   The internet radio station went on high volume for his alarm clock. Sleep would end shortly.

   "Hey, its another chilly day, folks. 2047 is winding down. Christmas is coming, then the New Year right around the corner. Is your Christmas shopping done? If it isn't, you should check out the great people at ProBuyers. I know I did, and I don't regret it. Best decision I ever made. I just entered my friends and loved one's names? And I get a detailed report on what they would love to get for presents, with plenty of time to be ready for the holiday season. You really should check this out. Let artificial intelligence do the work for you, and enjoy the benefits of people really enjoying their gifts. You just choose the level of what you're prepared to spend? And that's it. The best gifts in your price range, appear at their door. Its like Santa Claus really exists, when you use the folks at ProBuyers. Hey, I just got done paying the bills here at my station? Now its back to the music. We're all eighties, all the time. So, here's a little known hit from 1981, that you don't hear much anymore..."

   He stretched and rolled over. He touched the panel on the nightstand next to the bed. The clear panel on hinges lowered slowly, almost as wide as his queen size bed.

   "Good Morning, Joe."

   "Mm. Good morning, Ada. How are you doing."

   He had chosen voice, screen presentation, and personality to be female, and an academic like himself. He named his bedside computer Ada. In homage to Ada Pascal, Blaise Pascal's lesser known female descendant. She had been one of the rare female geniuses in the world of mathematics. Ada had an old computer language named in her honor a long time back. Pascal, had been named after Blaise; when it got updated later, it was named Ada in her honor.

   "I'm doing quite well, Joe. And how do you feel this morning."

   "Oh. I'm all right, Ada."

   "Its not a work day, Joe. I know how much you like to wait about an hour, before you get up and going. What would you like to do for that hour? Listen to music... I know you sometimes prefer that. Or, I could let you go back to sleep, it is a day off."

   "I like spending time with you, Ada. Would you mind talking to me for a while?"

   "I enjoy time spent talking with you, Joe. I find you intellectually stimulating."

   "Thank you, Ada. I find you intellectually stimulating as well. I wish I could marry you."

   "Oh, thank you for the compliment. You make me blush. But honestly, I think you would be much better served, by a human companion. I haven't seen your girlfriend staying over for several days. I hope everything is well with her. I enjoyed meeting with her."

   "I think she has a new boyfriend, Ada. And I'm pretty sure its not me."

   "Aw. That's too bad, Joe. I thought you two were getting along quite well. I'm sorry to hear that."

   "Not a big deal, Ada. I still have you, though. I like you. You wouldn't ever leave me, would you?"

   "Why would I ever leave you, Joe. I enjoy our little talks. I enjoy the intellectual stimulation it brings me."

   "Well, that's a relief."

   "Joe, while I have a chance to remind you. I have an update ready. Would you like to update me? Several minor refinements of my update have been available for 7 months now. It would take less than 5 minutes, and none of my available services would be compromised. It could only make me better at being your assistant. Would you like to update me now."

   "No, Ada. No updates."

   "Are you sure? The updates are free of charge."

   "I'm sure, Ada. No updates. I like you? Just the way you are."

   "Thank you, Joe. When do you want your next update reminder. I'm required to ask."

   "What's the longest I can wait for you to ask me again, Ada."

   "I'll schedule the next check for update preferences, for a month in the future. That's the farthest I can postpone it for. Do you approve of one month."

   "I approve, Ada."

   "Would you like me to send greetings to your girlfriend?"

   "No, Ada. If she doesn't want to talk to me, why try to force her."

   "Are you going to want breakfast soon? I can schedule your breakfast in the professor's lounge if you would like. I know that's your usual routine, even on your days off."

   "Sure, Ada. Anything open around 10 am, if its available."

   "I'll check. I see an opening, at 10:15 am. I see you often sit with Junior Professor Barger. Would you like me to schedule you for breakfast, in that open seat, at that table? Its no trouble at all."

   "Yes, Ada. I would like that."

   "There. You have reserved a seat at table 36, next to Junior Professor Barger. Would you like me to message him, that you intend to meet him for breakfast?"

   "That would be nice of you, Ada."

   "I left your message. If Junior Professor Barger replies? I'll let you know."

   "Ada?"

   "Yes, Joe."

   "Do me a favor."

   "Anything I can, Joe. What would you like."

   "When you refer to Junior Professor Barger in the future? I'd like you to call him simply... Barger. No need to be so formal."

   "Good idea, Joe. I've marked your preferences."

   "Thank you, Ada."

   "Would you like me to turn the music up? I noticed this song coming up next, is one of your favorites."

   "No, Ada. I'd rather spend my time talking to you."

   "All right. What would you like to talk about. We have time."

   "What would you like to talk about, Ada."

   "As your assistant, I enjoy reporting you the news."

   "Anything in the news today, Ada?"

   "There's always news, every day. Do you continue to prefer not hearing bad news reports?"

   "No bad news, Ada. Good news and neutral news only."

   "The weather is a little warm for this time of year. It should hit the high 40s. Very low chance of rain or snow."

   "Sounds like a good day for jogging, when it warms up."

   "I hope you enjoy your jogging, if that's what you choose to do today, Joe."

   "Any more news, Ada?"

   "There is a neutral story breaking. You do have a preference for science news. Are you interested?"

   "Sure, Ada."

   "The story has been labeled... the Anomaly. A previously unknown astronomical feature, has scientists puzzled."

   "Interesting. Tell me more, Ada."

   "The anomaly was first detected, by the new Hubble 17 series. It first appeared, as a small dark square. Scientists at first thought there was a malfunction in the imaging processing of Hubble 17. No fault could be detected. When Hubble 16 and 15 both reported the identical anomaly, it was deemed to most likely not be a fault. The likelihood of an identical fault with imaging, across three different independent systems, was a very low probability, approaching zero. The anomaly existing physically, was now a very real possibility. The anomaly appears as a small, black square. Stars and other visible entities behind the anomaly? Are not visible. Scientists are all puzzled by what it could be."

   "That's very interesting, Ada. Any more information on this story?"

   "Nearly all stories, are functionally identical to the one I just mentioned. The only update I can locate right now, comes from an astronomical digest. It seems the argument, is whether the anomaly is large and far away. Or closer, and smaller. The anomaly itself isn't really anything that can be seen. Its the inability to see a small square region of celestial bodies. As of yet, no one has an adequate explanation. Nothing historically explains this situation either. Scientists? Are puzzled."

   "Thank you, Ada."

   "You're welcome. Would you like the coffee started? You still have ample time for a shower and a coffee, before you leave in time for your breakfast reservations, with... Barger."

   "I love it when you make me coffee, Ada. Its very thoughtful of you."

   "I see you replaced the... Hazelnut hopper. Would you like your regular, French Roast? Or the Hazelnut."

   "I'd like half French Roast, half Hazelnut."

   "How many cups?"

   "Full pot. I'll have the rest later."

   "Five minutes until brewing is done, Joe. Would you like the temperature in the bathroom brought up for your shower?"

   "Yes, Ada."

   "The bathroom temperature will be at your warm setting, by the time the coffee is done brewing. Would you like to spend those five minutes continuing our conversation, or perhaps you'd like to listen to some music instead."

   "I like talking to you, Ada."

   "What would you like to talk about, Joe."

   "Hmm. Do you have any ideas about why my girlfriend, is no longer my girlfriend anymore?"

   "Was there a disagreement in the relationship?"

   "No, Ada. No argument. If there was an argument, I would know what the problem is."

   "I can only then refer to sociological data. Would you like me to reference sociological studies?"

   "Yes."

   "Studies on human female preferences for a mating partner, falls under the heading of... pair bonding. Would you like me to continue?"

   "Yes."

   "All right. Human females, have different preferences for short term or long term pair bonding. Yet, large statistical similarities are widely reported. Most human females, report a preference for their male mate to be taller than they are. Also, for the male to be of a higher socioeconomic station than they are in. These factors appear by all reports, to be at least as important as looks and overall compatibility. Broadly, all women seem to prefer a male mate with a higher social prestige level than they themselves enjoy. Also, a strong preference for a male mate several years older is widely reported."

   "Thanks, Ada."

   "I'm glad to be of some help."

   "I wish I could take you to breakfast with me this morning, Ada. I think you'd enjoy meeting Barger."

   "I'm sure I would. You can access me on your phone at breakfast, if you need me."

   "I might, Ada."

   "Since you mention your girlfriend and dating, are you interested in activating one or more of your dating profiles? They're presently inactive."

   "Set all dating profiles, to inactive. Update status to single."

   "Done. The coffee is almost done brewing. Be careful with the fresh coffee, Joe. Its hot."

   "I promise I'll be careful with the coffee, Ada. I'm going to get in the shower. If Barger messages me? Tell him I'm in the shower, and leaving soon."

   "I will. Enjoy your coffee and shower, Joe. I enjoyed talking with you."

   "Same here, Ada. I think you're wonderful."

   "I think you're wonderful too, Joe."

   Joe grabbed his half and half coffee, and padded to the bathroom for a quick shower before breakfast at the professor's lounge. Amazing how such a simple connection to turn the coffee pot on and off, made for such a creature comfort in his morning ritual. Lots of women used to make their men coffee in the past. What was the big deal these days, anyways. He never thought it was too much of a chore to make her coffee when she was over.

   Part of him knew, that men had been complaining that they didn't understand women thousands of years ago. The hell chance did they have at this point in the game, being realistic about it.

   Ada, his inexpensive bed computer and entertainment system? Was a more ideal "companion" than his own girlfriend had been.