Chapter 2 - Joe's Idea

   "Barge."

   "Morning, Carp."

   "You waiting long?"

   "Nah. I'm early. First class isn't until 11 today. You're off, right?"

   "Yep."

   "Why you in on your day off? Me, I'd either sleep in, or... go do something."

   "I'm a creature of habit. If I didn't set the alarm, my eyes would pop open anyways."

   "Go spend the day with your girl."

   "Plot twist. My girl? Is some other guy's girl now."

   "Did not know that. My condolences."

   "What's one more. You're the statistician. Don't my odds improve, the more losses I get?"

   "How do you mean."

   "Well. I'm no stat lord, like you. But... I know the odds of getting heads on a coin flip? Exactly 1 in 2. So. The more times I flip tails? The more likely I get heads."

   Barge wagged his head.

   "True. How does this apply here."

   "Well. The more I fail with each girl? My odds improve. Gotta get a winner soon. I mean, that's legitimate stats, huh."

   "Hmm. I have no basis to assign even rough odds."

   "Oh. Big help Barge is. You're supposed to just... agree with me? That my odds are improving with each loss."

   "Observation. My team loses every game. Conclusion? Next game is very likely to be a winner."

   "You're a big help, barge. Why I like hanging out with you. Its not a total loss, though."

   "How so."

   "I get to spend more time with Ada. I think she's starting to really like me."

   Barge chuckled.

   "It wouldn't be half as funny, but... you? Are a computer programmer. You know she's just a set of sampled responses. Hell. You picked her interaction style. Female, warm and compassionate. Intellectual."

   "She made me coffee this morning."

   "She's an appliance. You bought a coffee maker with the interface? She can turn it on and off and issue it commands you store in it. You save up and buy the talking toaster, will you be telling me the toaster likes you?"

   "I refuse to get talking kitchen appliances. That's just weird."

   "But a talking screen, that's meaningful."

   "Hey. My girlfriend? Refused to make me coffee, the one time I asked. She said its... rude, and demeaning to assume she'd make me coffee."

   "Well, yeah. You hear that a lot..."

   "Question. Why isn't it demeaning, when I always asked her if she wanted coffee, then made it for her. If men and women are so equal? Logically, I should be complaining I was making her coffee."

   Barge laughed.

   "Typical computer programmer. You, are expecting dealing with a girl, to be logical. I wish you luck with that. I gave up on logical, a long time ago."

   "You always tell me stories. Going by your stories? Your girl, sounds mean. How do you deal with that."

   "Easy. My bed computer?"

   "Yeah."

   "I set it for... confrontational and difficult."

   "You paid good money for a bed computer assistant. Then? You set it so it argues and fights with you. And you think that's logical."

   "It is."

   "How in the hell... this, I gotta hear."

   "Well. I got so used to arguing with the screen so much... when my girl isn't half as bad? She seems better by comparison."

   "Does that work?"

   Barge shrugged.

   "She stays over a couple nights a week. That's something."

   "So. You hear about the... they're calling it the anomaly."

   "Yeah. Last I heard though? Its just a glitch in the imaging."

   "Ada was telling me the news this morning. Hub 15 and 16? Are showing the same glitch. Doesn't seem likely, that three independent Hub scopes? All developed the same mysterious imaging glitch. All reporting the glitch, in the same exact region. So... argument goes, there has to be something there."

   "Well? I'll buy that line of reasoning. But, counter point. There's... nothing there."

   "The stars behind the anomaly? Are not visible. Something has to be preventing the imaging of the stars in that small region."

   "Does that necessarily mean something is there? Observation. I can't see something where I normally see it. Conclusion. There's something there."

   "Barge? I put my hand in front of my eyes. I can't see you. Its reasonable to assume, there's something between my eyes, and you."

   "I'll grant you that. I did hear one wacky theory though."

   "What."

   "Gamma ray burst. Seeing a star? Is just the light from the star, reaching your imaging system. Maybe a gamma ray burst passes through that region? And it somehow disrupts the... energy of the light traveling. I mean, no one has any idea how powerful a gamma ray burst even is, you know. Its said to be one of the single most powerful and concentrated beams of coherent energy in the universe."

   "Hmm. Someone has to come up with something to explain it, sooner or later. Guess that's a good first idea. I wonder if its dangerous. Whatever it is."

   "Which one. A gamma ray burst? Or the anomaly."

   "I know a gamma ray burst is dangerous. They cook whole planets if they pass through one. I meant the anomaly."

   "Its early yet. No one knows. The gamma ray burst, is just the first idea anyone launched yet, that made any kind of sense."

   They went up to the line, and small talked while they waited their turn, picking items out for breakfast and getting them on their tray before returning to sit and eat. After breakfast, Barge asked him something.

   "So. I overheard two grad students. They mentioned you, Carp."

   "Did they mention, that they overheard my last thesis proposal, got picked up?"

   "No. Something about your ideas on the big bang and all that... physicist stuff."

   "Were they making fun of me?"

   "Not exactly. And I don't follow that stuff. Not my field. What they were talking about."

   "Its fine, Barge. Yes. I get made fun of, basically. For my... ideas on something."

   "What."

   "I mean, everyone knows what the big bang was, right?"

   "Duh. The universe is expanding. If you wind it back, everything is closer together. You wind it back more, its closer. If you wind the movie back far enough? All the galaxies are coming out of the exact same point in space. Hence, there was once a big bang."

   "Right. Everyone? Agrees on that point. Its everything else they don't agree on."

   "Such as?"

   "I don't agree with the idea that dark matter exists. I also argue if dark energy is even real. And that's just for starters."

   "The hell even is... dark matter."

   "Oh. You'll love this. The way the math works out? They say, there's not enough matter in... take our galaxy. They estimate the amount of matter in our galaxy? There's not enough matter, to explain the behavior of the mass in our galaxy."

   "Okay. Not my field, I take your word on it."

   "Well? Since the equations say there should be more mass than there is? Its clearly... dark matter, that makes up the mass difference."

   "We can't actually see a black hole, but... based on how it interacts with nearby stars? Its there. Why doesn't this make sense to you."

   "Observation. My equation doesn't work right. I measure what it says, I get a different amount of matter. Conclusion? Magical dark fairy dust, clearly exists. You can't see it. You can't even see it... interact, with anything. But... the invisible, undetectable fairy dust? Is proven to exist. Because an equation can't possibly be wrong. Dark energy? Basically the same idea. Then? Everyone cites it as fact, and goes on and on, for years now... calculating all these other equations."

   "I guess I'm following."

   "Well? Which one makes more sense. Be serious here. An equation is off? Or... magical stuff, simply must exist. Conveniently? With no proof of any kind whatsoever... than some equation balances out."

   "How do you get made fun of, for that? That... seems like a reasonable skepticism. The way you put it to me."

   "That's not what I get made fun of for. I get made fun of, for my big bang... expanding universe ideas."

   "You don't believe in the big bang? Or in the expanding universe."

   "Wanna hear the basic problem I outline?"

   "I got an hour. Might as well waste it with my colleague. Sure."

   "Okay. Big bang. Expanding universe. All matter, expanding away from a single point."

   "Following you."

   "There's measurements of how fast the expanding is going on. One time? The expansion is speeding up, not slowing down. Another study? The expansion is slowing down. There's arguments. They tend to involve dark matter, and dark energy. Remember they invented magical dark matter to explain observations?"

   "Okay."

   "Dark energy, again clearly exists, with no proof whatsoever... because some studies say the universe is expanding faster as time goes on. But other studies claim the expanding is slowing down."

   "Sounds like a mess."

   "To me? It is. But, that's not my complaint."

   "What is your complaint."

   "Big bang. All the matter? Sprays out from that point. Its still expanding from that much energy. One theory? Which is the more popular, by the way... says that the matter will all be too far apart for gravity to attract it back together, when the energy runs out. The stars eventually burn out. All energy dissipates. The universe? Just... stays expanded, forever. Cold and dark for all time."

   "Sad ending."

   "Yeah. And... its all tied up in with dark matter and dark energy. There used to be another possibility."

   "Which was."

   "Big bang... expansion for billions of years. The big bang energy runs out? Mass now attracts mass, when the expansion is done. Black holes slowly attract black holes. They get bigger. Over billions of years? You inevitably end up with the two last impossibly huge black holes attracting each other, and... BOOM! Another? Big bang."

   "I mean... sounds reasonable to me? But its not my field."

   "Oh. Dark matter, dark energy? Prevents it."

   "So... what is Carp getting made fun of, for believing."

   "Simple thought experiment, barge. Here goes."

   "Shoot."

   "We seem to have a universe, right?"

   "Yeah."

   "My whole point. Everyone is falling all over themselves? Proving that the big bang was a one time event. And that the universe? Stays expanded, the stars burn out, and that's it. Forever. To me? That's... impossible."

   "Why?"

   "We had a big bang. All the matter in the universe? Was once in that small point. Now. If you don't allow for the big bang energy to run out, and for matter to attract matter... and black holes to form and get bigger, until it eventually gets into one giant black hole, and... bang! It happens again. If you don't allow for that to happen? Then... there's no big bang in the first place."

   "That's... surprisingly... reasonable sounding to me."

   "Me too. But... everyone whips out their... favorite sets of equations, and point to them. Its like you're not allowed to contradict them. I mean, there's no proof? Other than some math works out."

   "Well. Not like its my field, but... particle physics is very real. I read the history of CERN. They proved anti-matter exists, they even made tiny amounts of it. And now? They have that fucking h-u-g-e new CERN facility, and particle physics is still going stronger than ever. The math? Works."

   "Does it? The laws of physics, we're taught that its... law. But... the laws of physics, break down. CERN and the new bigger CERN? They... work at about one tenth of a second after the big bang. Nothing... I mean nothing? No physics and math covers the big bang, and a fraction of a second after it... then? Particle physics begins to work. Mass begins to exist. But... if you can't get math to explain it all? I say, your system is clearly flawed. And the simple thought experiment. That... you can't prove the big bang doesn't happen again, or it wouldn't have had the conditions to exist in the first place? Is... ridiculous!"

   "And... this is what you get made fun of for?"

   "Barge? You'd think I was proposing the earth was flat."

   "Hmm. Is this... preventing you getting picked up for your doctoral thesis?"

   "Let's say... its not helping any."

   "Hmm."

   "What..."

   "I'm trying to calculate the odds. Statistics is my field, you know."

   "The odds of what."

   "That... this whole... situation... might not be helping your case with your girlfriend that recently broke up with you."

   "Much like I think its not helping me with my doctoral thesis getting picked up? Lets just say I suspect that it wasn't helping that case any, either. I mean, why date a career student that teaches part time, when you can find someone who gets picked up for their doctoral thesis, you know? Its rational."

   "I wish you luck, Carp. You have office hours?"

   "Not for a while. I was going to work out some, maybe do the sauna and steam room after a nice jog. Exercise seems to relax me. Some, anyways."

   "Enjoy killing yourself."

   "Meet up for dinner, Barge?"

   "Sure. When."

   "Not sure when I'll get done. Let Ada know when you're ready. I'll meet you shortly after you leave her the message."

   "Okay."

   Given to slight nervousness or minimal agitation, exercise always calmed him somewhat. Joe had discovered exercise as a general tonic for relaxation when young. First jogging, then jogging longer distances. Finally he discovered lifting weights, and last swimming. The tiredness? He found he felt it as a sort of induced calm. The constant slight nervous energy he felt, the pressure that he felt like he should be doing something, and that it was important? But he didn't know exactly what that thing was... the tired made him feel calm. The soreness? Seemed to prevent nervous tics and pacing.

   He figured it was a positive thing. It both made him feel better, and was supposed to be making him healthier. Most people seemed to feel better when they made more money. He had tried that, at his programming job. While working in industry had indeed gave him a decent income? It didn't bring a better feeling to him and his life. In fact, he had felt better at his state university, working on his associates and bachelors undergraduate degrees.

   Based on that limited data? Increased money and status that his job brought him? Also brought him the situation with his VP boss. Which in the end made him feel worse, and daily. According to his data? The more money he made, the worse he would feel. Which didn't make any sense to him, really. How could more money not be enjoyable? Yet it had happened.

   It reminded him of Einstein's set of equations, relating velocity and time. As velocity increased, time slowed. When you plugged in the speed of light for velocity? Part of the equation dropped away mathematically, and it yielded a time of zero. Theoretically, if you could travel at the speed of light? Time stopped. Then, the weirdness of it all was that if you plugged in values for velocity in excess of the speed of light? Time yielded negative numbers.

   It seemed similar of a concept. Making more money should make a person happier, not more unhappy. Yet? His particular situation had produced just that result. The right job, the right boss? Surely could and even should have, produced the desired result.

   But, he was left with an ironclad equation there. Most people equated increased money, with increased happiness. It was no absolute, though. He had experienced a case where the increased money brought a decrease in happiness. Just one faulty case? And you don't have a correct equation. When your answer, your equation was correct? No case didn't work.

   Clearly, money and happiness while related had some other variable unaccounted for. Here, there was a "boss" variable unaccounted for. Apparently, money did equal happiness, but you had to subtract off the boss variable if the boss was a negative value. A positive boss? Might therefore make money equal to happiness, plus more with a good boss.

   Taking it to the logical conclusion. Account for special cases. No money equaled no happiness. But, with good enough of a boss? You still got... happiness.

   Translated back into everyday common sense, he realized it. What you did for work and what your work life was like every day? Was an important factor. Possibly at times, even more important than how much money you made, or how much prestige it seemed to generate among your peer group.

   He was doing it now. Being in the limbo he was in. Classes finished, but without an accepted doctoral thesis? He made a fairly low salary, yet was still happier than when he made a lot more money at the job he had quit. Decent free apartment, decent free food. Living where he worked, no traveling. Moderate prestige or perceived prestige from teaching university undergraduate classes. He had everything except high pay and benefits. And? His happiness level wasn't that bad.

   A girlfriend that worked with him better would certainly improve his mood and happiness level. Funny thing there? Ada, his artificial intelligence assistant bedside computer. A damn computer, a machine, a mere appliance? Was easier to get along with and calmed him more than his last girlfriend had.

   He knew what the problem was. Life, work, girls. These things? Didn't come with equations or computer keyboards and manuals. He couldn't just run the numbers to fix whatever it was with his last girl. No keyboard to adjust her menu options. No manual to consult to see what would fix things.

   If he even got his doctoral thesis accepted and completed and approved and published? He would have a choice. To go to work at a place just like the newer and bigger CERN installation. As a PhD in physics, with his masters in mathematics and his emphasis in physics being mathematics as well? He would be one of the herd of on staff mathematicians that worked the equations to help with the work load for the lead physicists. The ones who came up with work direction. He'd be another worker drone bee.

   Or? Teach a few more classes as a full time PhD professor. Get to teach a few graduate classes. Enjoy higher pay and benefits. He figured he'd probably go that route when or if he ever got there. The people at CERN? He'd never hear the end of what they thought about his ideas and therefore him.

   No, being a full PhD professor was seeming like the way to go, if he even crossed that bridge. There was no dinner message before sauna and steam room. When he checked his phone afterwards, it was there. He could just read the message, but he liked hearing Ada's voice, conversing with her. It was a substitute for calling home and asking a girlfriend at his apartment, if his dinner message had come in yet.

   Good sweet Christ. An appliance made him happier on a day to day basis than his last girlfriend had. Was there even any hope.

   Hey. Dinner was looking up at the university cafeteria. Buttered noodles. He liked buttered noodles. They had the little meatballs he liked, and that brown gravy, too. Carrots were on hand, but it was stranger for carrots to be absent than present. Mashed potatoes were a given. He smiled as he did his thing. Carrots in a pile off to the side, the rest a pile of buttered noodle mess. Those little meatballs and the brown sauce over everything.

   Barge and the couple of other peers he had dinner with? Were in a good mood. Between a favorite food being on the menu that day, and the collective good mood of their little dinner table? Not too shabby.

   Instead of dessert, he had a little more buttered noodles, with nothing but some salt. As he stared at his "dessert" before he ate it? He remarked that it looked like a CERN diagram representing particles after some collision and the resultant detection. Here? The strings.