Chapter 7 - The Voice II

   Joe tried to put it all into terms he better understood. He remembered his first time having sex. Everyone, has a first time at everything. There's your first time you score in your pee wee sport, that rush of finally having achieved it. You get to feel the moment, hear cheering and team mates clapping you all over. That initial rush? Gets less and less over time, if it happens often enough. A player that scores goals somewhat regularly? Still exciting, but... kind of business as usual. Confidence.

   This was a lot more like his first sexual experience, he decided. More than that, even. But, this was the best he could do for now as a comparison. That first time? The rest of your life, he knew he could just close his eyes, and relive it. You never forget your first time, at practically anything.

   Joe had been on dates and things like that with girls before, and here we go again. You know you want to try this, but how exactly do you go about it. That first one? Had been different. When the time came? He just knew it. She smiled. Took his hand. Led him off. And for a first time? Yeah, it was wonderful and magical. He'd never forget it, ever. There was a whole laundry list of emotions involved, too.

   Fear, nervousness, apprehension, anxiety. Then excitement, anticipation. Awe and wonder. Then? A little guilt, not too much though. Then? A profound sense of calm, feeling of accomplishment. It was huge and wonderful. This? Reminded him of that. This? Was another first, and it would be a big one. The only way he could relate it into familiar terms? This wasn't losing his virginity. No. Didn't cover this. More like... he was going to be the first man, ever, to lose his virginity.

   Whatever happened? He would be the only one to tell people about it. Others might come later, but he would always be the first. His friend's older brother. More experienced. He smiled, and calmed his fears about things. No need to be scared, its a beautiful thing. Don't worry, you'll do fine, you'll love it when it happens.

   He could imagine himself being the older brother this time around, one day. No, you're not going crazy. Its okay.

   When he went out and about some with Adelaide, his real life Ada. It wasn't hard to notice people gossiping about it. People's individual responses? Like any big news story. They divided themselves up into camps. A segment figured it was all just some secret government experiment. How else could it be so mysterious. Oh, its created by intelligent beings? If you call the government intelligent beings? Kind of a stretch there. And they would remind you, too. Of a list of historical things the government experimented on and tested in secret, before it came out later. This? Was no different.

   Some were scared. Spaceships with death rays, and... gigantic bombs? Were going to come charging out and attack. We might be the aliens favorite snack food, you know.

   Some people? The sort that always looked at the best of everything. Wow. If it is an advanced civilization? Just imagine, all the cool technology they can share with us. We already have ships going to the space stations regularly now. Moving around locally so to speak, in the general region of the earth. We could probably get spaceships finally, explore the whole solar system, maybe beyond. And medical technology? Sky's the limit here. Its going to be magical, anything could happen.

   Other people were more pragmatic, and skeptical of human nature. And indeed probably the character and nature of any intelligent being. Yeah. They'll share the... whatever it takes for the energy to travel to outer space? Our government will take it and just make the biggest goddamn bombs you ever saw before. They would tell you. You go back, and you look at history. The hell do you think will happen.

   Joe when young, had his first time with that girl. There was a second time with her, naturally. It was still magical, all the awe and wonder still there... but with no more fear, or anxiety of the unknown. Nervous down to tiny levels. In some ways? The second time, was a hair better than the first. Instead of wasting a lot of the night? They met early, they had planned on staying out late. It went on for longer, and for more times.

   So? Joe went to bed early.

   When he finally woke up, it was another day off, the weekend. Adelaide looked like she was up early, waiting on him. The time told him he had slept in a little. Normal after a slight hangover from the night before, and fortuitous as well. It was optimum to be going into his second time, if it happened? Planning on it. Getting there earlier, and able to stay later as it turned out.

   "Well?"

   He rubbed his eyes and gave a light stretch before settling in. He always did like to wake up and spend around an hour in bed. It seemed to prepare him for his day, dispel his perennial slight nervous energy he usually had. With everything going well? It manifested as a slight excitement, an extra bit of energy and drive. When things were going not as well, it would manifest as a slight nervous or anxious feeling. So when things went imperfectly, as had his presentation and the fallout from that still forthcoming? The hour of morning relaxation seemed much more important. Under optimum days, a little extra energy to apply himself wasn't a bad dash of salt to add to his life's recipe.

   "Better. We talked... a lot."

   "How long."

   "I mean... lets say me and you talked, say 8 or ten hours? All day. We'd remember the talk."

   Ada nodded.

   "Honest. Just like that."

   He shared over the next hour with her, what it was like. Like a child relating to another childhood close friend. What had the museum, the theme park been like? You talked excitedly, describing everything. They asked questions, and you sometimes directed to things you were sure they wouldn't ask and you thought they'd enjoy. He related the "god talk", and they shared the mild humor. The voice, which was what they were coming to call it? The voice had a sense of humor too, it seemed. No, he wasn't god. No, he wasn't some... superior being that had once came and played god to primitive humans. Nothing like that.

   He claimed he knew nothing about... UFOs, and probes up asses and experiments on live captured subjects. He didn't do crop circles, once Joe got across to him what he was talking about. No cattle mutilations, no treating humans or any other animals like grabbing up lab mice and rats and having your sick scientific way with them. Joe admitted, assuming everything was factual and he wasn't being lied to? It seemed like he was talking to someone not unlike himself, if he had to guess. Another intellectual, some other teacher or student or researcher.

   "I know you talked a lot."

   "Because I just told you."

   "No. Here..."

   She had made a phone recording of him sleeping. He was babbling and talking, sometimes slight gesticulations. The only thing? It was in a foreign language. It was what it sounded like, anyways. Ada explained that she had gotten up for a drink of water and a little bathroom trip, and when she got tired watching, she just let the phone record until she woke up earlier than he did. She had hours of it.

   Joe reported the voice was kinder and gentler than ever. He seemed to derive pleasure in Joe believing in the prediction, and proving himself. Joe described the momentary humor as had went on with the sun being "his star", this time it was trying to explain what an antenna was. Once he broke through, yes. The anomaly? He had the basic idea what it was. And no, spaceships were not going to come pouring out to attack or devour them. Nothing like that.

   They talked over the course of the hours long conversation, about Joe telling everyone. They both decided it together. Joe, had been initially convinced he was gone completely insane. Would not anyone and everyone else assume that as well? The time for that, the time for everyone else to know? That, was later.

   Joe and Ada ate, and talked a lot about it all. In the early evening? Joe had a big smile on, and leaned back on pillows propping him up. Lacing his fingers behind his head, he explained.

   "Ada, honey."

   "Hmm."

   "My proposal? He said, its all correct. Its why he chose me. I mean, everything else aside? I... I know I'm right. There's no... I worry if I'm wasting my time, if it takes me ten years to work through the equations, one by one, book by book. I know I'm getting there. No matter what? It happens. Eventually."

   "But? No one else knows."

   "Ah. But I know. It makes it easier. I mean, before? Even I wondered. But now? I'll know, that in the end? It all works. I get to... leave my mark. I mean, that's really something. To me, anyways."

   "Hmm. Dreaming of all those citations, huh? What. Running some... team at the new CERN. You'll probably forget all about me, and have some... floozy lab assistant, huh."

   "No. That's not me. We've known each other a while, by now. You see me running around every weekend? No."

   "What. You get your face on some... magazine. Meet the man that solved the big bang riddle."

   "Honestly? I don't want to be famous. Do I want a good job? Sure. But... if I wanted to get rich, I sure wouldn't be back at school for more degrees. I'd... be out there."

   "Well? What kind of man are you, then. What do you want. If its not fame, if its not fortune, if its not... having your pick of... cute lab floozies laying on the lab floor and kicking their legs in the air? What do you even want."

   Joe sighed.

   "I just want a normal life. Comfortable is fine."

   "That's not a dream, that's... regular stuff. No dreams?"

   "Eh. Like I said. Leave my mark. Some guys? They wanted to... take over all of Europe. Say they did it. Me? I don't want that. I guess that was them, leaving their mark. Its... not my mark."

   "What is your mark, then."

   "I did it. I figured it out. Anything... with my name on it. We all leave this world, Ada. Every one of us. Tomorrow? 60 years from now, its coming. No getting out of that one. Religion? Talks about a soul. Don't know if I believe in all that stuff, but... to me? My soul. What lives after I'm gone? My name on something. Joe? He wrote this book. You can read it in the library, a hundred years later. There's... proof I was here. I didn't just pass through life, like it was some bus ride. The great artists? Those paintings and sculptures. The great mathematicians? You get.. some law, or rule named after you. I mean, take Boyle's gas laws. Till the end of time? Volume, temperature, pressure... Boyle, lives forever. Anyone, that needs to control those three things? They know his name. That? Is leaving your mark. To me."

   "Anything else you want?"

   "Well. I guess now that you mention it. Just the right lab floozy? Would fit right in. Can you recommend one? I like smart chicks, you know."

   "Am I even right for you."

   "Adelaide? You're my little Ada. If I had lived back then? I'd have wished I could be good enough of a mathematician? That I impressed her. Have a chance, to have a wife like that. I... definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life, with some dip-shit, talking about shoes and her hair all day every day. Christ, that would be a fate worse than death."

   "You really like me."

   "What is it with women. No wonder Tesla never married, and his best friend was a pigeon. Did you get the idea I didn't like you?"

   "Well, no. You think, you could love me?"

   "Ada. Dearest. My pet name for you? One of my favorite women in history. You're a mathematician? Just like her. The last time you went on one of your little vacations? I named the screen assistant by my bed after you. When you take vacations like you do? I don't go out running around. I exercise, I teach my classes. I do my thing. I mean, do I think I love you? I think I do. Maybe if you stuck around long enough, you know? Not trying to be rude, but... what kind of a life would it be. I never know if my wife is leaving for a month, or when she'll be back."

   "We're different."

   "Ada? Everyone is different. I don't even know where you go, and what you do when you just go off like you do. I tried... chasing you. Does me no good, seems to just annoy you. I've learned. I never know, when you walk out the door. Are you... just going to class? I'll see you tonight, or this weekend? Or... is it two months later. When you're back? Same thing. I would have just came home... there you are. Oh. You're back. Hi honey, how was your vacation."

   "I make you mad. I'm sorry."

   "Ah. Not mad. A little frustrated? I've gotten used to it. Who knows. We get married after we both get all our degrees, who knows. We might be like that for all our lives."

   "You're jealous, then."

   "Not anymore. Maybe the first vacation or two, a little. But... what am I now. Oh, Adelaide? Yeah. She'll be back. I'm confident of that now. You ever notice? I never quiz you on it. You had another boyfriend? Did you? If you do? You do. If you don't? Then you don't. If that is what goes on, well. Then I've been your boyfriend how many times now, I lost track. They, just get once with you. I'm definitely more important. I guess, I'm winning. I got? Way more... citations out of your thesis."

   "Hmm. You know, back in the day. The old days? Men used to... just lock women up. Literally. They weren't allowed to leave the house. They punished them for trying."

   "Yeah. Read about it in a history class."

   "Well. You're... not like that."

   "Well. How do I make you feel, then. You tell me."

   "Free, I guess. I don't have to be with you. I want to be with you. And...there's a little bit of excitement, when I come back. But, its familiar too. Like... coming home."

   "Hmm."

   "What."

   "I'm just thinking. Nothing."

   "What?"

   He dead panned her.

   "Gee. I wonder how those old time guys, ever got to locking their women up. Wow, I have no idea why they did that."

   "Hmm. You going to punish me. For leaving again? Is that how it is now."

   "No. I'm not like that. I don't hit women. You know that."

   "I know. You're nice."

   "I am a researcher, though. I'm going to... research you."

   "Really."

   "Definitely..."

   They both got a giggling and laughing fit, as he reminded her of the "alien probes" she had mentioned far too many times to have been an accident. Before she got the probing session she was most fearful of, she squealed not without dinner and drinks first. He reminded her she had coffee and sandwiches several times all day while they had talked.

   She squealed and squirmed like a lab rat, while this "research" and probing went on. When they were done, he jokingly told her that was what laboratory mathematical floozies were for, she better get used to it.