Chapter 16 - String Theory
So here we are. Honestly, I thought I was going to wake up dead. I had always wondered about it, what my death would be like. If you sit and give it any thought, there's no escaping the whole thing. You're going to die, and that's an unavoidable fact. The only two questions? When and how.
First Wizzy then Panic. Both taught the same thing. By example as well as explicit lessons. Death? Simple fact of life, and nothing to be afraid of. Wizzy's life had been touched by death, since he started falling in with the MP's. His friend who became one of his best friends, Elise. A female MP that was not like the others. She was first purse snatching bait. Then rape bait. Then, when they had a rapist that beat women almost to death.
She finally assumed her final form. They had been cycling her around, to other large military bases with a problem. A woman that had been beaten and left for dead after the rape in an alley as a teenager? Had survived and crawled out to get help and live. A girl's Judo champ, she ended up an MP.
Then, it was time for her final form to appear. Bait, that would kill. She volunteered to step up again. To ratchet her personal motivations and revenge level to the next step. The final step. Elise? Do what you do. Be bait. It works. Keep your spurs from jangling. But when the contact is fully confirmed? Do not hesitate. Dump the magazine at close quarters, then reload and be ready to do it again.
That would have been enough, but she didn't go to pieces. She had been similar to Panic. Touched by too much violence, she was one of the walking wounded. Limited emotions. Emotional responses, that she could shut off at will. I never saw that and wished it for myself. I was old enough to be past the fascination with superheroes. I already knew, it was nothing fun that you wanted, to live that life.
Wizzy had been affected by seeing the bad rape survivors. Then, when his best friend answered a routine call when everyone else was on the giant accident scene on the nearby interstate highway. Late at night, all hands on deck somewhere else. He tagged along as backup. Then out of nowhere? His friend's face exploded right next to him.
He got him to the emergency room with seconds to spare, then he knew what had to be done. He did, what he had been groomed to do by his mentor. What he had been doing to rapists that women didn't want to name publicly and go through that. He did it to the man that had almost killed his friend. You get monsters alone, and you make it so they can't do what monsters do to their victims anymore.
They all had the same view. Death? No big deal. It was how you lived that mattered. You can't waste your life fearing death. Every day? Today, is a good day to die. You don't pray to live as long as a human can, you pray that when you do die? It was with a sword in your hand. Like a boxer about to be knocked out? You go down swinging.
They all professed a belief in Valhalla. Live properly. Honor your code. Die fighting for what you know is right. Those that showed you this, and are gone now? They can see you. Make them proud of you.
I guess to a little kid, reading a comic book? This seems heroic. I was old enough I knew better. I saw Elise and Wiz take lives. Lives that needed to be taken, and there was no other way. And yeah. I helped, any small way I could. You have to at least try to set things right.
Elise had told me though. After Wiz, my fiance and her best friend was already gone and I had become an FBI agent. Stay out of the deep end of the pool. No gun-play if you don't have to. You won't like what happens to you.
But in the end? I had no choice. It, found me. Wiz? Came back as Panic. And he both had his revenge, then took it to the next level. I never wanted to be like Elise, but I am anyways. I've stood at his side, and did my part. He took point in what came to be nicknamed The Alamo. I had flank. The easier, first timer's job.
Once you've graduated to that. When you finally stand there and dare them to come. When one of them that has experience, approves of you coming and standing at their side. You refuse to turn tail and run against odds. Its not the violence that's the good part. Its not the winning. Its that approving nod and grin, after its all over. When your mentor approves? There's no better feeling.
When its all over? That's when it hits you. Holy shit, I could have died. Wow. Didn't even think about it, while it was going on. It really isn't anything to fear, it would have just happened, and been quick. No, the real torture? Would have been running and hiding, and living to old age.
That's not living.
So it was always a mild curiosity to me, how I would take death when it finally came to give me a kiss. I already knew what was expected of me. Wizzy reminds me anytime I think of him. You smile, you shrug. What can you even do.
No begging. No crying. You smile. I've come close several times. I had always hoped I was prepared enough that when my time finally came, that I would go down swinging. One more time, just happened.
I'm pleased. I know I can look at myself in the mirror, and like the person staring back at me. My mentor can see. My mentor? Is proud of me.
So here we are. Sitting up on a bare mattress, in what is a fairly big empty room on a ship. Space is limited on a ship, so what would be an efficiency apartment on land? Is considered spacious and grand here. Funny how your surroundings dictate what's big, and what's small.
I got my grin, and my shoulder touch. I gave it back. I nodded. He just shook his head. I broke the silence first.
"Rally point's hell, huh?"
He glanced around, and shrugged.
"Popped myself with Morphine a couple times in the field. Can't give the team away and get more men killed, if I'm dead anyways. Always woke up, though. Once on a stretcher. Once in a chopper. Once? In a grass hut with the spear chucking natives treating me with smoke and chanting and, honestly? Glad I don't even know what they gave me for their idea of medicine."
I glanced around now as well.
"This is better, I guess."
He sighed.
"I guess."
We sat and waited. I broke the silence again. I guess that's me right now. The silence-breaker.
"I'll ask it. What now."
"Want me to lie to you?"
"Sure."
"I know exactly what's going on. I know exactly what to do. Its all according to my twisted, ingenious plan."
"Well, that's good to hear."
He waited.
"Of course, then there's the reality of the situation. We should be dead, and we're not. I have absolutely no idea, what in the hell's going on. I don't have the foggiest damn idea what to do now."
"You left one out."
He counted on his fingers, grinning.
"I'm fucked. You're fucked. We're both fucked. Which one did I miss."
"The twisted, genius plan?"
He chuckled.
"Oh, right. Yeah. The plan. What plan. The plan? The plan isn't fucked. Fucked? Would be a major improvement."
"You said, welcome to plan Z."
He snickered.
"There's in general? Two Plan Z's."
"Oh. Glad the handbook covers this."
"Oh, definitely."
I nudged him.
"Well?"
He sighed.
"Plan Z, type one. Run like hell, scatter like mice. Everyone try to meet up at the rally point, we'll try to arrange extraction. We'll get as many wounded out as we can. Try this again, some other way. Something will work, but we now know? This wasn't it."
"And type two?"
"Pretty much the complete opposite. You refuse to scatter. You basically charge hell with a bucket of piss water."
"And what does Sun-Tzu say about type one and type two."
He imitated a thick French accent, and the exaggerated effeminate finger gestures.
"It is, what. These thing, you know already, eh. He who does the running, does live, to the fighting, the another day, no? And, if you have never seen, a cornered rat, leap for the throat of the big kitty cat? You should see these thing, it is a... how do you silly American say these thing, what. A real... eye, opener. Eh?"
I couldn't help it, I laughed my ass off.
"You? Are getting far too good at that. Skykid? Is going to kick you in the nuts, when you do that at the camp when he's cooking."
He chuckled, and sighed.
"I'm looking forward to Skykid's kick in my sack. What I'm most worried about? Is what Little Robbie is going to do."
"We're still in the game."
I got the bug on a pin stare.
"Okay, miss optimism. Question."
"Yeah."
"The hell game are we even in!"
I shrugged, and giggled as I swept my fingers, gesturing. He went on. He's in sarcasm mode now.
"I feel like I was playing baseball? I blinked. Coach is sending me back in now? The hell am I dressed up in football gear for. I mean, the hell is even going on."
"You have to decide."
"Flip a coin. Heads? I kill him, he'll let me. Tails? We jump over the side, with my beacon on."
"Your handbook appendix. On Plan Z. That's basically type one and type two."
"Yeah. Neither of which? Seem to be the appropriate thing."
"Go back to Sun-Tzu."
"Glad I thought of that. We should go with Sun-Tzu. Remember that, grasshopper."
"I will."
He sat a few minutes.
"Random shit is popping in and out of my head."
"Keep that shit a secret."
"Well? Sun-Tzu has a gem. When you do not know the correct course of action? It is wise to do nothing. Performing actions, simply to be doing something? Can easily make the problems worse instead of better. Do not be your own worst enemy."
"So. We sit here."
"Metaphorically. At least until we can figure out what game we're even playing in now."
"Anything else?"
Another sigh.
"Not that its accurate, but... my enemy's enemy, is my friend. That keeps kind of echoing around in my thick skull."
"Anything else?"
He got quiet.
"Yeah. I feel like... I'm a complete tool. A puppet. I've been used."
"You ever feel like that before?"
He giggled.
"Oh yeah. Me, Rob, Sky. All the guys. When we finally cracked that nut, and started winning? They started moving us around, and it would happen all over again. That's why we got the hell out of there, and didn't renew our contract. We were in a fight. We can win this fight. But? We clearly were meant to just... fight but not win. Keep the fight going, to no particular purpose."
"You feel that now."
"Yeah. Call it a hunch."
"Robbie? Lives by his hunches."
He mused.
"I'm the deep thinker. The planner. Rob? He acts instead of thinking. When his enemy is thinking? He's already acting. Now, that said. I do act impulsively sometimes. And Rob? Is no slouch for the thinking and planning. We're just each a little better at what we do."
"Which one does your gut tell you to go with."
"That's just it. I feel like we're back at the equator, all over again."
"In what way?"
"Mm. There is no winning. There is no losing. There's simply no point to it."
"How did you guys decide that."
"Rob? Was always all about, you never quit. You do or die. I picked that up, from him. But, then? Rob was suddenly, the one saying there was no point. Fuck it. We got paid well. Time to go home, go to school, rejoin the human race."
I giggled.
"Playtime's over."
"Hell. I was arguing to stay, Rob was arguing we should leave."
"How did you decide that?"
"Hmm. Skykid. We both looked at him, going the rounds about this, like always. I mean, me and Rob were rolling around in the weeds, arguing again. Sky? Hey girls. When you get tired of scratching each other's eyes out? Food's done."
"I'm confused. How was that... a decision."
"Well. When you guys are done fighting, getting nowhere like usual? Let's eat. The, metaphor? Kind of hit all three of us at the same time. We... started talking about. You know. Real food. I mean, a couple weeks to contract up again. Fuck it. We all have money now. Let's go home. We're gonna get the biggest, best-est steak anyone makes, anywhere at any price."
"And did you?"
He shrugged.
"Hell yeah. They dropped us off, in western Florida. We went and found the best hotel we could locate. And trust me here, we looked like assholes around everyone in these nice suits. Like we give three shits. We had slept in an abandoned building, with a bunch of... homeless guys. We're laughing like hell. Here we are. Eating field rations. The couple homeless guys there? Thought the freeze dried food, was the best thing ever."
I laughed. I can picture this in my head, perfectly.
"Me and Rob were laughing. We're eating with homeless guys, in some abandoned basement. Skykid's the one who said it, though."
"What."
"Guys? No one, is trying to kill us. See that bug? Its probably not poisonous. I bet when we wake up? No bombs going off."
"What came next."
"We took turns sleeping, and... around noon? We headed for the nearest bank. We all got wire transfers. We each took a nice thick stack of hundred dollar bills, to the biggest hotel we could find? Booked one of those, penthouse suites. Went to the dining room? Got the biggest rare steaks, known to man. Spent a couple days, having drinks brought to us, under the umbrellas on the sand. Everyone's bitching about the Florida heat. We're laughing. This? Was a little chilly to us. We were used to 120 degrees."
"Vacation."
"Eh. Home sweet home. We're all, what are we gonna do. We had years, to dream. I wanted to go to college, for computer programming. I had some classes in. Rob? Wanted to become a master brick and tile mason. Skykid? Master electrician."
He started giggling.
"What."
"Oh, just something that happened. We were, you know. Running around for several days. We each had a stack of hundred dollar bills. Couple assholes thought they were gonna, you know. Strong arm rob us?"
I laughed. That was funny.
"I can picture, how that one went."
"Probably not like you're thinking. We, just... laughed our asses off. These guys didn't know what in the hell to do. I mean, give us all your money, or we'll beat the shit out of you. We, honestly? Couldn't stop laughing. We just... walked away. Laughing."
"That is even funnier."
"It is."
I mused on it.
"Heard it said before. When you're no longer afraid of the devil? He no longer has any power."
"Yeah. The real power of evil? Its simple fear, really. In the beginning, if you're not afraid. Evil can't even get started. And in the end, the only way to stop it? You have to lose that fear. Then? You turn around and take it right to them. When evil sees that people are finally, going to stand and fight, to the bitter end? That's the end of it."
I thought about it.
"Its just a whole lot easier to take care of it on day one, rather than wait until a year later."
"Sooner begun? Sooner done."
He's got me giggling and doing it now, too.
"Ah. American phrase. I love these thing."
He chuckled with me. And yeah, the dramatic gesture to go with it. Skykid? Is going to chase us both around with a cast iron pot. Well. If Little Robbie doesn't strangle both of us, first.
"Hey. Can I tease you, no getting mad?"
"What the hell. Like I ever smacked you before, for wise lip."
"I seem to remember plan Z, being... keep him talking. If I get my chance? I'm going to snap his neck like a chicken."
"Well, you see. Plan Z? Is a highly fluid thing. There's many variables. There's different angles to consider. A lot of parameters, that are changing."
"I know, right."
"You know bullshit, when you hear it, huh?"
"As Rob would say. Yep yep."
We both sat there. The silence-breaker, does have a job you know.
"You got another, textbook?"
"Apparently, there's a teacher's edition. I wasn't issued one."
We sat there. The silence-breaker strikes again.
"Start talking."
"I don't have any answers."
"Think out loud. I remember twice before, seeing the... murder investigators on scene? They typically walk around, thinking out loud."
He sighed.
"Me. Rob. Even Skykid. We, did combat. Its pretty fucking basic. You got your enemy. You, fight back. Or, attack. Or there's a goal. You form a plan, and go for that. There's always an objective."
I waited.
"I said start talking. I don't remember? Giving you permission to quit. I mean, the hell kind of problem does a soldier have with following orders, anyways. Don't make me tell you again."
"You're in charge now. Fine."
"Until you get some answers? I guess so. You did this before. Rob, and you? Skykid had the bright idea. When you're done fighting? Lets eat. Talk. I'll tell you, when you're done."
"Fine. You know what I think hurt the most? Down at the equator."
"What."
"That feeling. That, you've been marching down this road, for so long. You got all this time and money, and lives invested now. And, there never was a point to it. We thought there was? But no. No objective. Fight them. We fought them. Objective? Put a stop to this. We started getting somewhere. Oh. Now? They move the goalposts around. It was like, heading for the heat mirage in the flat desert. You never get there. Just, a donkey chasing that piece of hay, dangling on that stick."
"You have that feeling now?"
"Something like that. I mean, its obvious we don't know what's really going on. This isn't combat, this is... that incomprehensible, international political horse shit."
"Can I make an observation? Maybe more than one."
"Please."
"I have nothing concrete. I'll just, throw it all out, free form."
"No. Don't you dare. I don't allow you to."
"Right. Anyways. I know what you were doing. You told me. Its late in the chess game. The pieces are going to just, move around. You're waiting until the pieces are arranged, and you can do your thing."
"Yeah. You can see how that turned out."
"Before you started to make your move?"
"Yeah."
"I'll admit it. I had a few... second thoughts."
"Such as?"
"Wow. The police chief, at the doughnut shop? I can't wait to see these two sit down and start going. Can you imagine it? The boys at the campfire. The monkey stories. And, every time? I had to remember. Oh, that's right. This guy's toast. I forgot again. I just, kept having to remember what we were here for. Am I in trouble, for... the guy seems, likable."
He sighed.
"I felt that too. You will not get your little bottom smacked for it."
"Do you have any... you can just, what. Smell an evil bastard? You called them... butchers."
"Its no one thing. I pick up a sense of, there's just... no morality in them. Its the little things. The guy that steals food off of the next guy, when he takes a piss. We each have a little bit of rations in the field? You don't do that."
"And... le diable?"
"Okay, good. You got me stepping back now. If, I was here and all this went on, but... you know, I wasn't here to kill him in his own house? Yeah. I admit it. Seems like a good guy. Great, even. Assuming, I didn't go through all... equator."
"Stepping back? I'd agree. But, you told me. Rob told me. Skykid says he gives frogs a bad name. Hell, even Uncle Mikey. His whole country. To me? That, was The Devil."
He mused. There was no horizon, so it was the top line where the roof met the far wall now.
"I even named the smiley face killer I was chasing? The devil. That? Was... the devil I could catch. Do something about. Trying to, what. Make up? For... not being able to finish what I started before."
"I have another observation. You guys? Were fooled down there. Tricked."
"Yeah."
"His story? Sounds awful familiar, there."
"It does. Could be a story, though. I mean, the devil lying? Pretty much standard operating procedure, right there. Rob would smack me upside the head, for that."
"And Rob acts more than he thinks. You think, more than you act. Keep thinking. You're good at puzzles. This is just a big crossword puzzle."
"Yeah. Next one? Whats a five letter word. For a man that gets fooled twice. Starts with an I, ends with a T."
"You're not an idiot. Hell, you taught me. You fool a moron? With higher level thinking and planning. But? How do you fool a good chess player."
"Something really basic."
I mused the ceiling to wall line now.
"Everything that went on, down at the equator. It was all... nothing was what it seemed."
"No, it sure wasn't."
"Like, one of your... magic tricks. And what did you tell me about the best magic tricks."
"Oh. The trick? That's really easy. Its already done, before it starts. Its staring you right in the face? Literally. You just don't see it."
"Look, then."
"We're missing something. I got that, tickle in my gut, that... there's a big elephant in the room. We're sitting our coffee cups on his head, and think its a coffee table."
"Like, the magic act, is still going on?"
"Mm. You can do basically the same trick, over and over. The audience? Sees different tricks, but. Its the same trick, underneath it all. If you can make a mouse in a little cage, disappear? You can make an elephant in a big cage disappear. Its the same exact trick. It just... looks bigger."
"I wish Uncle Mike was here. He's good at this kind of shit."
"He is. But, you go to war? With the Army you have, not the Army you wish you had."
"Panic?"
"Yeah."
"You have a real good track record, at spotting a liar. And the better they are? The easier you spot them. And I already know how you do it, you told me a million times by now. Make it a million and one."
He sighed.
"I was born without emotions showing on my face, and my body language. Once I figured that out, I started learning all about body language. People that lie? Are acting. The words, the smile. It, doesn't go with the body language they give off. I start watching what they do, not what they say."
"And this guy."
"I mean, he's le diable. He's that motherfucking good. But? No. Other than, he is who he is, I... have to admit. He doesn't set my... butcher meter off. If I didn't know what I know? Great guy. Especially given what he has."
"Rob would say, its harder for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle, than for a rich man to have true morality."
He sighed.
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled? Was convincing us all he doesn't even exist."
I giggled.
"The other one though. If there wasn't a devil..."
He finished it.
"... we would promptly have to invent one."
"Well?"
"Honey. If I could tell you which one this is? And it really has to be one or the other. I'd already know. I'd say, he's going to let me kill him? Great. Or, I'd say... lets jump overboard, and head for the boat Rob's on."
"So, you don't think he's lying."
"My gut says no? But, everything I know, says..."
I waited.
"Sounds like one of your magic tricks. Doesn't it."
"It does. In fact? We probably already have our answer. We just don't know it."
"I hate to boil it down, but... if he is The Devil? Why would he let us live."
"Turn us. Use us."
"And, if he isn't The Devil, after all? You admit. Its a possibility. What then."
"Then? He isn't lying. He's telling the truth. And, his version is the more correct one."
We both studied the roof and wall line some. No answers there. Panic decided to try the silence-breaking. Hey, that's my job.
"The hell's even the point of you have 14 psychology degrees, anyways. Lot of good you're doing with it."
"Four, not 14."
"So? Got anything."
"Well. Are you asking me, if I think he's crazy?"
"No. Not at all. He thinks god himself, ordained him a holy warrior. Perfectly rational thing. We should let him babysit children."
I sighed.
"I'm going to say it. Whether you get mad or not."
"What."
"He, kind of sounds... well? Like Rob. And you. God sent you two down to the equator. To be disgusted, and to take action. Angels of death. Sent to wreak god's own terrible vengeance, on the wicked. All hell broke loose? It was your job."
"Mm. You got a point there. Little Robbie? He's got the light of god in his eyes. He ain't all there. And a true madman? Is hard to stop. Hell. I caught it off him."
"Oh no, mister. I know the whole story. I'm your therapist. Rob was the spiritual leader. He's the shotgun messiah. Hey guys, this isn't just a fight. Some war. This? We're on a mission, sent by the almighty himself. Hell opened up down here. Locusts came up out of the pit. Feeding on the innocent and helpless. We're the angels of death, sent to do the lord's work."
"Yeah."
"You damn near killed yourself, trying to get to hang out with the cool kids. You wanted them to kill you, so you could join. You died? And Rob started your heart again."
He chuckled.
"Chest compression my dimpled white Irish ass. He calls it, the primordial thump. More of a slow hard punch. He had it down to a science."
"And what did he tell you."
"You're one of us now. You died. Your heart stopped long enough. You will never fear death, ever again. Its peaceful, like going to sleep."
"And? How did you feel after that."
"Just, calm. All the hell going on around you? Eh. We got this. But... the power you feel? Its indescribable. I'm here to tell you? No lie. When you line up and get ready to jump out? Oh, man. There's no drug that can ever come close, to that. You're, just... like sprinters waiting for the starter's pistol. You can taste it coming. Red light goes on. It blinks? Wait for it... then? Steady red. Blood lamp's lit, boys. Go, go, go."
"And?"
"You... you actually fly. The little flaps, off your arms and legs? Its really gliding, its a glide suit, but... you fly. Why do you think they call it... Airborne. And I mean, any jump is awesome. But, those HALO jumps? Aw, man. All that free fall and flight time. You can't see anything? You spread out so you don't run into each other, and... then you hit it. The cloud layer."
"Go on."
"Not even eagles fly up that high. All that white, and then? Bang! You break the cloud layer. And now? You can see it. There's this big battle going on. Down there. Here we come. That? Is your prey. You have become death. You're a winged raptor of death now. That's what the wings patch is for. Not one bird of prey? No. Here comes a whole flock of raptors. You orient yourself. You find your side, their side. You land down behind the enemy's lines? Oh. The rush, and that dead calm, all at the same time. And its HALO. Low opening. You don't want picked off coming in. Chutes? They're called neck-breakers. All that equipment, plus your weight. You need a big, slow chute. To stop you quick. And just before you're a grease spot? Execute! Than? You land, you group up? And... its time."
"Time for what."
"The hunt. Its on. They're watching our lines. Eyes forward. You come up behind them? Silent. Your own artillery shells are coming in, all around? Doesn't even rattle you. And, you just feel it. Its like a fire in your blood. You can't be stopped. You're on a mission from god himself. You're all that stands, between the locusts, and the innocent. And you show them, what an angry god has in store for them."
I sighed.
"Gee. Doesn't sound the least little bit crazy, does it."
He chuckled.
"You played big college sports. You know that feeling. Hell, Merry. You? You're every bit as crazy, and me and Robbie are. You're convinced. Hell, you got me convinced some. I came back over, when they started my heart again? Wizzy came back with me. You're nuts too."
"I never said I wasn't."
"So, what are you saying."
"I'm saying. You? Rob? You... sound like him!"
That stopped him cold. He drew a big breath, held it and exhaled slowly. Nodded.
"I'll give you that. Go with it."
"I got more."
"Don't you dare tell me."
"You heard what I heard. He gives a textbook definition? Of PTSD. He admits, he's not a fighter. But... the businessmen? They were puking, when they saw what was going on. He wanted to kill himself."
"Yeah. You're right."
"Wizzy? Had a mentor. I? Had Wizzy. Now? I have you. Who did he have?"
"Oh. His... priest."
"Who taught him what?"
He got quiet and dropped his face.
"God did this to you, for a reason. And, that's... well, that would be..."
"Say it. Or I will."
"Karma. The priest? Was his mentor. He did what Rob did for me. Took the fear of death away. Showed me how to fight back."
"Wizzy's mentor was the same for him."
He mused.
"Go with it. Do the... personality types."
"Been doing it. Since we arrived. Didn't think there was any point, since he was just... prey. But."
"So? What is he."
"You know you're an INTJ. Introverted. Thinking, not feeling. Judgmental. Makes you a natural sigma male. You think you're weak, and you run alone. In a group? You just follow, unless there's a need. Then? No good alpha around, you take the reins and lead. Until you can hand the reins off, to the first half decent alpha you find."
"Keep going. Science girl is turning me on so bad right now."
"Funny. Sigma males? Are born to take out bad alphas. They need mentored, by an experienced sigma, but... once they get that finishing school..."
"Which is all philosophy..."
"Like Rob. Wizzy's mentor. You to me. His? The priest."
"He's a sigma? An INTJ."
"He's a sigma, but he's the ENTJ. He has the extroverted. He takes in from without, and he can deal with the regular people. He can deal with the engineers, the INTJ team. He can also deal with the boardroom suits, too. He speaks their language, as well as the language of the INTJ experts."
"Prove it."
"Oh. Money? Pieces of green paper. Why, its just a tool. Sound familiar? Now, where have I heard that before. Oh, that's right. Wizzy, And you. Both? INTJ sigma males."
"Keep proving it."
"What does a sigma do? They learn. They study. They learn everything, inside and out. All the small details, all the big pictures. And when they have everything completely understood? How the big system works? They form a plan. A big plan. Its always the last thing you'd ever expect. Then? They strike. Out of nowhere."
He chuckled.
"He's been planning a..."
"Say it."
"Sigma lightning. He's about to strike."
"Who is he coming for?"
"Bad alphas. Its the only thing that makes a sigma rise up, take the reins, and do it. And they'll never see it coming, until its too late."
"And what does he wish he could do? If not for this."
"Go to monkey island. He thinks this is all silly."
"Who but a sigma, has that giant morality streak. They can't take it. They have to do something. To set things right. And what rule book does a sigma play by."
He knows this one.
"They study the system, the rules. Looking for their angles. Or? Chuck the rules. Results are the only thing that matter."
"I can do this all night now. How did you grow up?"
"Fuck me. The rules are for me. Everyone else? Does whatever the hell they feel like. It feels like..."
I finished it for him.
"Salmon... swimming... upstream. Your words? And I heard him say it, too. You can do that to most people. But, to a dyed in the wool sigma male."
"We incubate. Learn. And come back, and..."
"Sigma lightning. He's, well? He's basically... you. People think its funny, to fuck with a sigma. And what does a true sigma say and do. Not like you'd know."
The exaggerated thick accent, with finger gestures.
"Oh. I am, nothing, that is dangerous. I just have, some money, a few trinkets."
"Disarmingly, charming. Oh, tell a few funny monkey stories. My wife? Has the cherry bottom."
"Christ almighty."
"Panic? You ever seen an enemy put his head out for you."
"Never."
"So. He's, either the craziest son of a bitch god put on this earth, or..."
"He'd rather die than take an innocent life."
I shrugged.
"I saw this with the murder investigators. When everything fits, there's your answer."
He mused. The classic INTJ. You can just see the Swiss watch brain. Clicking. Whirring. Calculating.
"Not a pun, but. Devil's advocate. Find me one thing, that doesn't fit."
"That's just it. I can't. I can do some medical things, too. Take you. When you study me, like a bug on a pin. You always put your right eye on me."
"So?"
"The left side of the brain, controls the right side of the body. And vice versa. You use your right eye? You're studying, and calculating. Using the science and logic side of the brain. Its why almost all INTJ's are right handed. Right legged. Its a complete wiring of the rational side of the brain, controlling everything. You're a fighter. I bet you noticed."
"Rob has me do it automatically. He's right handed. Right legged."
"He also? Puts his right eye forwards, when he's talking about the plans. You sigma males. What happens, when you figure out the real rules."
He did the voice and gestures now. He's getting too good at it.
"Oh, These thing, is how you play, eh? And that game, two can play at it."
"They taught him. No rules. Someone, or something? Had him doing their work for them. Go. Get Alsace-Lorraine, bring her back. They used that big morality streak. Your country? Needs you. He did it. Had him chasing his own tail. Then? Oh. Thanks. We'll just take that, and... whee. Let's use this to pay for what we really had planned. Good job, Francois. You're a real sport."
He said nothing. So I did.
"They made one mistake."
"What's that."
"They did it to a sigma. When he got pissed? Oh. You're the devil now. All you other children? Lets make fun of him for thinking the rules mean something. Sound at all familiar?"
"Only my entire childhood."
"Way I see it, Panic?"
"Mm."
"You, Rob, Sky. You guys? Saw a fight, and didn't understand why you weren't allowed to win. Private military. You were being used. As... pawns, in a game. The object? Never was to... win. It was to just raise hell, and raise the cost of the, blood coal. The longer it took to get it? The better. It made it more expensive. So. When they took it, when he came back from his French crusade. Knelt down on one knee, and handed them the holy grail he finally won."
I paused.
"It was more expensive. They could sell it to China for even more."
"Still leaves one thing though, science girl. And believe me. Science girl? Has me all hot and bothered."
"What."
"If me. Francois and his investors. The villagers, the other country's political creatures. We were all...puppets."
"Basically. Yeah."
"Question. When you have a puppet..."
I said it.
"There's a puppet master. Pulling the strings."
He sat musing.
"And how does one find the puppet master. You don't see him. You just see the puppets, putting on the show."
"Kind of your department, honey."
"It was rhetorical. Follow the strings. Take you right to him."
"Oh. You still want your devil."
"Who in the hell, could come up with all this. Arrange all this."
I shrugged.
"Ask Uncle Mikey. He's the one that's good at this shit."
Panic chuckled.
"I wish he was here."
I agreed.
"Hell yeah. We can't involve him in this shit, though. His deal ends at the lines on the map."
"Pity. He'd be good at this game."
I sighed.
"Not like he's missing anything fun. Remember. This is the guy that got out of military intelligence. Because of all this kinky behind the scenes shit going on."
Another silence. I reclaimed my title of silence-breaker.
"So. Now what do we do."
"Unless we get new information otherwise? I accidentally said it earlier. Just didn't know I had anything."
"What's that."
"My enemy's enemy? Is my friend."
"Anything else?"
He sighed.
"Yeah. Little Robbie? Is going to pull my head off my neck, and shove it up my ass."
