Chapter 32 - Bermuda V

   Just like drunks, we all shushed each other multiple times, and used exaggerated tiptoe stepping motions as we walked among the spaced out cabanas at this end of the private beach. With not I don't think, a drop of liquor in any of the three of us? We spoke in those patented stage whispers, to choose a cabana. To us? We were naturally as silent as three angels of death, come to prey silently upon the living.

   But, as it turned out... good thing we weren't playing for keeps. Our stage whispered conversation was mainly about which cabana we were going to choose to have sex in. The one me and Panic had already consummated our vacation in, or maybe a new one, so it was for all three of us. Or, maybe Mademoiselle Sturmer should pick.

   We tip toed around, which is so silly considering we're walking barefoot on sand, for the love of god. Not a leaf or a twig to crunch in sight. We fanned out in this fashion, and stage whispered further now to each other, as we inspected cabanas to see which one any of us could make an argument for.

   "This one's a little bigger."

   "This one, maybe its a hair farther away from the others."

   "Hey. My cell phone is in this one."

   "Then where the hell are my shoes."

   "They're zapatos, you English speaking pig."

   "What's in this one..."

   Then, just to prove we were making more quiet commotion, by trying not to? Little Lightning made a sage observation.

   "Uh, we're not as quiet as we thought we were."

   I stood there, with mock command presence. Head and shoulders back, little smile, shaking my hair and quitting with I hoped an air of some authority. Feet shoulder width apart, arms crossed, hoping I carried off my intended triumphant pose. Panic was standing right next to me. Imitating me.

   "Ha. I'll have you know? Panic here, is an expert at... sneaking around in the middle of the night. So there."

   Lightning moved an errant strand of hair back over her ear, though it wasn't even there. She giggled.

   "Really. That's... simply fascinating."

   "Well, its true."

   "And tell me. What would you bet on that."

   "Anything."

   "Anything?"

   "Yeah."

   "Winner? Gets to be in charge."

   "Oh. I already lost a bet earlier, he's in charge of me, all night. But... I could offer... you, join him? Or he's still in charge of me, but... I'm, in charge of you."

   "Shake on it. I'll take the bet."

   She tiptoed up to me, and I mirrored the exaggerated tip toe to meet her halfway. We shook once and well on it. Then? Little Lightning swept another errant strand of hair that wasn't there either, over the other ear. Giggling. I wondered it aloud.

   "What."

   She covered her mouth to suppress more giggles, pointing and poking towards us. Huh, what? She pointed up and over, again, before we got it. Look behind you.

   Me and Panic both turned around slowly, to see a smiling Elise standing there. In her bikini bottom, with her arms crossed over her boobs, for propriety. We did a double take, both of us. Then all three of us exploded into laughter. Elise tried to give us the stink eye, but kept cracking a curl at the edge of her lip. She shook her head and kept her hands over her tits, though she had uncrossed her arms. She now tried to continue the farce with a faux stern voice.

   "Oh. This? Is just... too fucking precious."

   More periodic explosions of laughter. We all sat down in the sand and took turns getting it under control, but the ones still laughing, passed it to the others. We were coming back down. Slowly. The laughing fits had been the hallmark of going up. Our peak, had been laying introspective in the surf's edge. Now though, we were passing back down, and moving obviously back down through the laughing fits again.

   Elise shook her head, but had given up the game by smiling more.

   "And as far as your... precise little commando raid? Some intelligence for you. This cabana here? Is occupied."

   Panic stammered out Spanish translation.

   "Senora Merry? Este cabana, es... occupado."

   We all burst out again. I piston my legs and hold my tummy when its hysterical, and I don't care if I show it.

   Panic had trouble crawling to Elise's ankle, sputtering to lose the laughter suppression. He pointed up at her bikini bottom.

   "Este cabana, es occupadan? Para purposas, de... senora Elise? Tiene, las pescas michas... eh?"

   Elise was high stepping away from his grip on her ankle, while he pointed up at her bikini bottom. We could barely sit up now. Little Lightning crawled towards him, proclaiming violence between peals of laughter.

   "You son of a bitch! I told you! I'd kick your ass, if you didn't stop with the fucking Spanish lessons!"

   He laughed crawling away from her. It turned into a game of chasing by crawling. Whoever could suppress the most laughter, if even for the briefest period? Gained ground. They did figure eights around Elise, and Panic tried to hide behind her legs, to protect himself. Light was gamely trying to lurch for a hold.

   Elise went down, and started flailing at both of them, to stop it. It had zero effect.

   "If you don't stop insulting my twat? I'm going to..."

   Panic and Light were crawling over Elise, trying to swat at each other and grab each other. I couldn't even sit up, pointing, kicking, pealing laughter. Elise was caught in this mock fracas.

   "Jesus H. Christ on a fucking Popsicle stick..."

   Which of course just made the laughter worse. Then, a little head peeked out of the cabana door. Much like a smiling little girl, wondering what daddy and mommy were doing up.

   "What, is. No. Elise? Mine!"

   She hurriedly stepped into her bikini bottom now. She has little to no shame about this. In front of her girlfriend seemed normal, and then in front of me and Light seemed no worse. But she didn't seem to mind if Panic saw, either. He pointed and laughed. He did faux French accent.

   "I see, Paris. And I see, France. And? I see, Elise's... wet, under, pants."

   With her adorable accent and childlike English, she stomped over and started pushing Panic with her little feet.

   "Hand... off."

   I don't even need to relate that the explosions of laughter were no longer intermittent by this stage. Panic ended up face down, trying gamely to keep a solid grip on both Elise's thicker and her girlfriend's thinner ankle, one in each Irish paw.

   "Hands on! Best way!"

   They tried to extricate back, but with one working foot each now, they were threatening to go down. It dragged him face down across the sand. Elise was amused, but tried to act annoyed.

   "Oh, for the love of--- fuck me."

   Which immediately got the little French girl gamely stomping at him, to comedic effect.

   "No! Only? Me, do. These, with? Elise..."

   Elise had this, though. She simply stepped on Panic's wrist, and his hand let loose and she stepped back. She's nimble as a cat. She sighed, and went and stepped on his other wrist. Which freed her little French love interest, who giggled and jumped back. Stepping around with her other foot, preventing him from grabbing that ankle. She seemed to intuitively know where his next grab was coming from and going to, before he did. Then she lightly pranced out of his grasp.

   Panic crawled towards her, but she chuckled and walked around in a little circle. Honestly, it looked like a little kid had the giggles and was annoying mom. Panic tried to make fun of it, between laughter outbursts.

   "Come on, Elise! We're having this out! Right now! Me! You! Man? To man!"

   She just pranced on the balls of her feet in the little circle. She at times nudged him with the ball of her one foot or the other. To roll him a little, and egg him on.

   "Yeah. Right. I'm obviously terrified."

   "You be fronting that shit, bitch!"

   "Uh huh... more like backing that shit up. Tell you what. If you can stand up? I'll let you try."

   He tried, but fell over laughing. Elise was back to her mock anger.

   "Jesus. Just... look at you. Look at the... utter state of you."

   When he went to try to stand up, with naturally exhaustive peals of laughter wracking him and preventing him... she giggled and stepped around and put a foot just so on the small of his back. When he tried to essentially do a push-up, and dislodge her? She made a silly little noise.

   "Bloop!"

   Whereupon in time with the little girl noise? She simply put another foot on the back of his one knee. She stuck her hands out rather gracefully, and leaned around, to counter his attempts to rock her around or off. This put her boobs on jiggling display? But he was face down, not like he could appreciate it any from that position.

   Her little French girlfriend came over, and bent down. To taunt him, like one little kid to another.

   "Elise? Beat, you. And? You... get, beat. By? Girl. You? Are... sissy, boy. Mm?"

   She giggled as she kicked some sand at his face and shoulders. She did have to step back once in a while, as he took a halfhearted swipe at her ankles coming too close. Laughing, of course. We all were.

   Elise was giggling, but pointed at her cabana. Honey? Will you do your... le roi? A little favor."

   "Mm. For, my... le roi? Any, thing. And? If, I no like? You... do, it? One... more, time. And? Make, me."

   "Yeah. In a little bit, okay? Be my little helper, and... grab my handcuffs."

   Panic roared with laughter.

   "Elise! Fucking, cock tease!"

   Elise started laughing.

   "I don't believe this shit. You? Go. Get the cuffs."

   "Mm. We? Need, them. We, play? Cop. And? I, am... little, thief. You, catch me. With? My... hand, red."

   Elise was starting to laugh more.

   "Oh yeah. And, your little ass is going to be red, if you don't get the le roi's handcuffs. Move it."

   She crossed her arms and made her little pout.

   "Why. You, win. Already. You? Beat... sissy, boy."

   Elise sighed.

   "Honey? Believe it or not... this, sissy boy, as you seem to insist on calling him? Is actually... hell on wheels. He's, just... oh, I'd say, what. About a gallon of flavored rum in him? Christ, he doesn't ever drink this much. This is a new trick for him."

   Panic roared with laughter and he tried rock her off suddenly again.

   "I ain't had a drop! Got a whole wallet of travel money? Uh, somewhere, anyways. And... it says... I pass a breathalyzer."

   "Uh, yeah. Panic?"

   "Yes, my little turtle poop..."

   Elise laughed a little, and it threatened to ruin her lean and counter lean, riding the small of his back and the rear of his knee like a human surfboard.

   "Colonel?"

   "Huh..."

   "I was an MP? Six years. I know liquor when I see it. And don't worry? You're not under arrest. You're going to be handcuffed, only for your own protection."

   "Bullshit! The fact, I can't stand up right at the moment? Is... immaterial, and has no... prima fascia, or some shit like that. What. Am I going to hurt myself, falling over in the sand? My protection, my dimpled white Irish ass..."

   We're dying laughing at this entertainment, and Panic degenerated off into some incoherent mumbling and chuckling. The giggling little French girlfriend, handed her le roi, as she called her? Her handcuffs.

   "Here."

   "Thanks, honey. Christ almighty..."

   It was quite a show. I was laying face down now, giggling. Wondering how in the hell, Elise was going to go from a foot on the small of his back, and a foot on the back of one knee to control him? And down to get him cuffed. He's going to pitch and roll, and... he's actually quite slick rolling around on the ground and grappling. Well, normally. I glanced, and Lightning was doing what I was doing, chin in her hands, enjoying the show. We missed nothing except popcorn.

   "What. I get, no help out of you two?"

   We looked at each other, and back. I stuck my tongue out at her. Little Lightning blew raspberries at her and giggled. She started swishing her feet up and back, like a little girl.

   "Yeah. A half a gallon of rum in this one, and... what. A quart in each of you two? Good, lord."

   Elise just concentrated once again on her human surfboard ride, and... seemed to be calculating and plotting out something. Panic started giggling and taunting her.

   "Uh huh. Nice moves. But, someone's committed now. You got to move one of those feet, and when you do..."

   Elise giggled.

   "Don't make me do it."

   "I, got you, right where I want you!"

   Elise snickered.

   "Oh. I can see that."

   Panic actually got quiet for a second.

   "Well, once you make a move. You? Have a two post going. The instant you go to a single post? I have rotation. And then? The game? Is... wait for it. Afoot!"

   He laughed at his wordplay, and we giggled too. Even Elise laughed a little at that one. It was rather cute.

   "Actually? You're right about that. Hmm."

   She counterbalanced intuitively, and... came up with something. She had the ball of her foot on the small of his back, just above his back belt line. She scraped her foot flat and sideways, nestled down in the small of his back. He was now able to try to do a push-up again, but before he could muster one, her back of the knee foot? Just flashed onto the back of his neck. When he craned his neck to get his head sideways, she just planted it firmly on his now sideways head. Ball of her foot on his temple, her heel down around his neck, below his ear. He got quiet.

   "Oh. Good one."

   Elise was matter of fact about it.

   "Thanks. And..."

   She could now crouch down, and didn't have to counterbalance nearly as much. She made silly little noises, as she played grab the wrist, grab the other wrist, then...

   Click. She had the one wrist. She hauled up and back, twisting. Then? She finally had what she wanted, as he kept his other wrist away, and... she just stepped on his forearm, and that was it. She now had the wrist by turning his palm, and it rotated back, and the second click went on.

   She now stepped off, and only had to lightly press with one foot in the small of his back, to maintain things. Her little girlfriend clapped like a little girl.

   "Elise? Win."

   "Yeah. Actually? This is what we called, a good fail, in the MP's. Way too long. I'm a hundred percent vulnerable, fucking around like this, for this long. But? The colonel... doesn't get a win. We called that? A fail. And... a good fail, beats a standard fail."

   "Hmm. Elise. You? Win. You? No, fail."

   "Honey? Cuffing rowdy bar fights, in the MP's? Takes more than one, to be in a fight. The guy he was fighting with? Would quickly, turn on me. I take too long, getting the suspect under control? His accomplice can take me out. This, ain't the big win you think it looks like. I barely have this under control. In real life, without a gun? I'd be dead meat."

   "Mm. You? Try, to... hurt. My, Elise. I? Kick, you. Some."

   Elise had her finger, stern in her face immediately. She was about to say something smart alack, to defuse this and her both. But Little Lightning surprised all of us when her giggling ceased immediately. It was the tone of her voice.

   "Stop. Right the fuck now. That's my... le roi. We're all best friends, and this is friendly. But you actually kick him? I'll kick you twice."

   She surprised me momentarily by bolting upright onto her feet, like a surfer explodes up from laying and paddling the wave, to an instantaneous crouch. Christ, I found it intimidating as quick as it happened, and I know I can toss her around. The little French girl smiled and giggled, to cover it over, but... Light wasn't having any of it. She already had several quick steps and was between Elise and Panic... and what she suddenly perceived as a possible if even slight threat. She wasn't hearing what was about to come out of the little girl's mouth next, either. She was on that, when her lips moved but before any sound could escape.

   "Can it, back the fuck up. You won't get a third warning. Move!"

   The little woman, suddenly looked a whole lot tinier. I got up now, too. Though I admit, not nearly as quick as Light did it. I raised both palms to Elise, to show her instantly. I wasn't going to do anything, and shook my head no to her to emphasize it. Elise looked me up and down, the half a second once over. She instantly turned her attention off me, I was no threat to anything. She focused on Light and the little girlfriend.

   The little thing made now, yet another crucial mistake. Instead of just taking steps backwards, like would be highly prudent in this situation? She instead while not standing her ground to Light, did do what was almost as bad. She looked at Elise. Which didn't gel with the situation at all.

   Little Lightning all but growled.

   "I said, back up."

   When the little scared eyes darted to Elise yet again, Light whipped one of her once infamous feet up and over the girl's head in a blur and had it retracted and down planted solid again, almost before it happened was how it seemed. I've seen this before, in college. The wide spastic eyes, the instinctive leap back... and the sobering realization that long leg just whipped over her head and was back down, before she could even react. Its intimidating as hell, to realize someone could have just kicked your head off your shoulders, before you even blinked.

   She just raised her hands up, and took unsteady steps backwards. Light got exactly what she wanted, distance between the Elise-Panic pileup? And the little French threat. The poor little thing shook all over, and looked for all the world like she was going to piss herself.

   As I've said, I've seen this before. Little Lightning grew up from 14 to 18? In some hellish environment, that no person should have to endure. When tested, hardened and jaded MP's learned what she had been through, and for how long? Physically, mentally, and psychologically injured and tortured. To a man, they all admitted had it been them? They would have killed themselves. Light hadn't. She first survived, then sort of thrived if you want to call it that. It took her four long years to craft first her survival, then her revenge, and finally her escape.

   One of her main tormentors? Had been her twisted mother. She had kicked her mother almost to death on her way out the door, to run off to take her scholarship at one of the biggest top ten schools to get into. Her only friend and confidant, had been an old soccer ball she found. Teddy Ball. Suddenly having gone from everything to nothing and less? She sat and talked to him, like he was her only friend. Because he was. She did Teddy's voice for him.

   And when she suddenly threw her mother down, and commenced to putting her now nationally infamous feet to her mother's head and torso? She sat Teddy Ball down, so he could watch.

   It took a long time.

   It was brutal.

   She was covered in blood.

   And the whole time? She's talking to Teddy ball, who had mentored her. Doing his voice for him. While she danced and kicked her mother. For her long awaited and richly deserved, if protracted, cold brutal revenge. She left her for just about dead.

   Then? She just cleaned out her mother's purse, picked up her things she had already packed... and walked to the bus station and never once looked back.

   I've been through hell. Little Lightning certainly has. Even Elise went through the fire when young. It hardens you. You can shut your emotions off, and resort to quick brutal violence, as if something is fighting to get out of you. When it comes? It comes out of nowhere. Like an old style wooden match flicked with a nail just right.

   I know what Little Lightning's face looks like, exactly. Even though I can't see but the back of her head. Its her game face. When she played? Its kind of scary. But in the world of top collegiate sports? That furious intensity and gritty determination, is rewarded. It allows you to dominate your opponents. They're the enemy. They'll do it to you, if you give them half a chance.

   I've seen her playing with blood all over her, and none of it was hers. Far from squeamish? She wiped it on her face, and licked it off her arms, to intimidate the other team. Like a heathen wearing blood for war paint, to terrify the enemy.

   I'm here to tell you? It works.

   Little Lightning was a star forward, that helped lead us to multiple conference championships and national titles. On our early way up the ladder in our tough mid-west conference? The other team thought it would be a bright idea, to make fun of one of our team mates. One that had just committed suicide. Me, Wizzy, and Light herself? Were the ones that found her bloated and insect infested corpse, hanging.

   Little Lightning, was the one that first found her.

   When my pushing and shoving match with the girl that was trying to psych us out by asking where our star center was, turned into an all out bench clearing brawl? It took a while. We had both entire teams out in an all out battle, before the game even got underway. The ref, and the assistant refs? Were in it too. Both coaches, all four assistant coaches. Hell, both team mascots got into it and had to be separated. Later on? The damn announcers from both teams, got into a brawl in the announcer's booth.

   We were a fast skill team, we were up against the worst goon team in our conference. It was a four quarter, cheap shot extravaganza of a game that followed. Constant fights, constant fouls. Lightning went up for serious air, going for a head ball out of an elbowing in the mouth pile up, and didn't really go for the head ball to clear it up to her other forward. She came down, from feet over the crowd's head, to land all her weight with her neck cocked like a snake. All mass and momentum funneled into her forehead, all into a girl's nose.

   She played like that, covered in blood. Threatening not just the goon opponents? But their bench and their coach as well.

   Other goon teams tried it, too. We went into brawls with them, just the same.

   We became known as the Bloody Bridesmaids.

   Little Lightning. Also known as Little Miss Two Feet, also known as the Pride of the Midwest? Was a skill player. Not a brawler.

   But I was.

   I played for eight years, known only as The Hurricane.

   Why? Because after one of our worst infamous bench clearing brawls, footage got aired of the devastation on the field after it was over. A national sports clip, had a voice-over that quipped wise. They said they had footage of the aftermath. Then "accidentally" aired a few seconds of Hurricane Katrina carnage, before "correcting" their "mistake".

   I didn't pull hair and push and shove. Like most college sports girl "fights". I mount girls my size and bigger? And put them in the emergency room. Someone has to do it. Coach's unofficial orders. They try to goon your star players? Make them pay.

   The crowd roars. Your blood's on fire. You beat your opponent bloody and unresponsive, then go for broke. The team rushes out to block the refs and the other team from getting in and breaking it up, so you can go to work and extract what they owe you.

   If you start knocking my young star wings and center around, leading us to rings and titles? I get moved up, and you hear from me. I once lived for it.

   Me and Wizzy, both took Light in, so to speak. Unconditional love. Both emotional, as well as physical and romantic. She'd never known that previously.

   Just as I said twice before, I'll mention yet a third time. I've seen this before. You didn't threaten her Wizzy, and now you don't threaten her Panic. Its scary. I once saw her kick a guy around, literally, for razzing Wiz too much when he was letting the guy go, if he could.

   Elise now glanced back to me, then gestured a flick of her chin at those two. I gave the instantaneous nod I'm on it.

   "Light? Its all good. She backed up. I think she was just teasing. Come on, honey. All over."

   She pointed her finger down at the little girl who looked like she wished she could melt into the earth and reappear somewhere, anywhere else. Little Lightning's five eleven in her socks, and has legs longer than any girl her height. She's not as "little" as she looks, either. All toned muscle, with what seems like impossible reflexes and speed.

   She didn't say it to me.

   "Nobody, threatens to kick my Wizzy."

   That froze me and Elise in a quick glance to each other. Talk about a Freudian slip from hell.

   The girl wisely got her feet and legs moving slow. She stalked off towards the cabana, to wait for her le roi to come and comfort her. But? She had no way of knowing it. She unwisely in frustration? Went and was about to kick Teddy Ball laying nearby. You just don't do that.

   Light's reaction was instant. She bolted in what looked like one long stride. The girl was telegraphing her intention, from Cleveland. Before her little foot could touch Tedward, Light had slid in, like a baseball player sliding in to steal the base or home plate. Her right leg curled around Teddy, from the front. Her momentum skidding in the sand, carried her a little on. Teddy was now cinched behind her right knee. Her calf and back of her thigh pinched him in. Its how a skill player steals a live ball and protects possession.

   She bolted upright again, as before. But on one leg, not the least bit unsteady. Her right leg was up, holding her treasured ball. The look on the little woman's face was horror. Without looking, she loosened her cinch. Then Teddy, slightly deflated from earlier, dropped onto her heel. He bopped up and over, and her shoulder softly popped him back up. A couple bops on the top of her head, and he neatly fell into her waiting hand, while she never once broke eye contact with her, what. Prey.

   She shrugged, and said quite quiet for the situation.

   "No one kicks Teddy Ball, either."

   I was on it.

   "Light? Come here, honey. She doesn't know about Teddy."

   "Well? She sure does now. Doesn't she."

   The tiny lady didn't like my imposing frame that near either, until I had my arm around Light and steered her back on the other side of the Elise-Panic pileup.

   Elise is an alpha female. She handles life or death situations, for work. This is peanuts to her. Her command voice got used.

   "All right. We all done? Great."

   She pointed her finger at her little girlfriend. But the voice was now soft and emotionally persuasive. Defuse.

   "You. In the cabana. No one did anything wrong, no one did anything bad. No one? Is in any trouble. I'll be in shortly? Me and you, are fine. We're all fine, we might just not all exactly know it yet. Just, go."

   The little scared thing disappeared into the thatch woven beach shack and disappeared. With none of her usual repertoire of pouts and everything else, cute and endearing as it all might actually be. First really brilliant thing she's done, since this all flashed over.

   Elise's voice, even softer now.

   "Light, honey?"

   "Yeah."

   "We good?"

   "All fine. No one's kicking him. All I needed."

   "Merry? Thanks."

   "Anytime, Elise."

   Elise was just turning her attention down to Panic, finally. Before she could speak, her mouth already open to do so? Another voice, unexpectedly came in.

   "What. In cold Russian holy hell, is all this... commotion."

   Elise shrugged a little.

   "Hey, Vladimir. Sorry we woke you up."

   "I have only a little bit, of rum. At party. Was, fun. I go to sleep. I get, only couple hours. I went to sleep? In Bermuda. I wondered. How, did I wake up. In Ukraine. With fighting."

   Elise smiled and shook her head slightly.

   "No fighting, Vladimir. Just... all fooling around. Sorry we woke you up. Everything, is fine."

   "Oh. Well. If everything, is fine. Then. Not, that I necessarily, wish to join? Into, fun time. But. In Russia? Is consider polite. At big party? To invite, friend. To drunken orgy."

   Elise almost giggled, and shook her head a wee bit.

   "Uh, its not a drunken orgy."

   "Hmm. Is not fight. Is not, drunken orgy. Then, what. Is... sober, orgy?"

   "Not. Its, not any kind of orgy."

   "Vladimir? Has just woken up. Please. To explain. Is not fight. Is not any kind of, orgy. What, then... is it, exactly. You seem to have placed yourself in charge, of this situation. That means, you can now explain what goes on. I do not know. I ask."

   Elise really didn't have a quick explanation.

   "I would say, I see. But? I do not. While I did, just wake up? I was awake just long enough, to hear you say, something. It led me to believe, you are police officer. Yes?"

   "Actually? Yes. I'm a detective, actually. I..."

   "Moment. Please. I was not aware. That, you joined, Bermuda police force. Many things, may have happened. Since I fell asleep. Is, this one of those things?"

   "No."

   "Okay. And so. Is not fight. Is not orgy. You? Are not police officer. Perhaps, in other place. But, not in Bermuda. And. We, are on private property. And so. Property owner? Is, asleep. And? Not, here. I? Am agent. Of property owner. There must be, order. I will ask you? Polite questions. Will that be all right."

   "Yes."

   "Thank you. Was, anyone injured."

   "No."

   "Is good. Was, anyone... got hit. Slapped. Anything. Dish, thrown at head. Anything, at all."

   Elise shrugged.

   "Not really. No."

   "Again. Is looking very good. I have one question. If, is all right, with you. Elise."

   "Sure."

   "When, no one can... explain. What, is going on. What... went on. Sounds, as if. What is phrase, I search for, here. Ah, yes. Can we call this... boys, being, boys. Perhaps."

   "Well... I'd say, yeah. Merry? Light?"

   We both nodded along, said our yes and uh huh. All in agreement.

   "Is very good. And so. I ask, question."

   Vlad was already in his waist to knee shiny athletic clingy workout shorts. He smoothly skinned off his big, loose, flowing T shirt he had on. His not altogether small knee area star shaped tattoos, joined his star tattoos higher up. His very detailed black and white, 3-D large bird with two smaller birds tattoo. He had what appeared to be, what. Epaulets, tattooed onto his shoulders. I hadn't noticed those before, but I had seen something there, they just didn't register at the time. I was homing in on the birds, a lot more than those.

   All that notwithstanding? He was politely showing exactly how big of a man he really was. He looked big, in loose flowing clothes, and even in a nice suit. But now? It was all thick, natural muscle. He was a bull of a man. His voice was quiet, polite and very cultured. But, he was so exceedingly polite, it was beginning to be more intimidating than if he had raised his voice. I don't exactly know, if Elise recognizes his tattoos and what they might or might not mean to her. The look on her face, said... maybe. If not recognition, it was tickling her memory. She appeared as if she was supposed to recognize what those things meant, and it wasn't coming into focus quick enough.

   "Please. I do not threaten you. In any way. Perhaps, you have heard me make polite joke. Fuck, police. Yes?"

   Elise grinned politely.

   "Yeah."

   Vladimir nodded and smiled.

   "Is not? Entirely. Joke. But? I do not say this to you. Because, you? Are not police here. And so, you can not take, offense to this. When I say..."

   He cracked his neck.

   "Fuck, police."

   Elise grinned.

   "No offense taken."

   "Is good. Now. Is... boys, being, boys... moment? Moment, has passed. Or, am I not correct."

   "No. All good."

   Vlad smiled, quite cordially.

   "Is, better than good. Is, what. Excellent. And so. Perhaps, now?"

   Elise cocked her head.

   "Hmm."

   "You will now, please to take your foot. Off of my friend's... neck. I? Vladimir. I, will negotiate, this... situation. Politely. In, some other fashion. I? Am your superior, in this matter. All, must have order. If you do not agree, with my superiority, in this... order, of things? Is fine. We will get property owner. He? Will, make that decision. If, you do not trust me, in this matter."

   "Uh, no. I... trust you. In this matter."

   Vlad nodded. Smiled again.

   "Thank you. But? Foot. Neck. Is your, friend? Is polite, to help friend up."

   Elise helped Panic up, quite gently.

   "Thank you. Polite, business? Is always. Best, business."

   Vlad looked Panic over, a quick triage. He slapped his cheek gently.

   "Friend is fine. Thank you, for... preventing him. From, accidentally? Injuring himself. But? I will take over, from here."

   Elise raised her hands, and stepped back. She never once took her eyes off of Vladimir.

   "Now. Is everyone, calm?"

   We all nodded our heads, assented with everything from murmurs, to full scale yes's, and a few in between those extremes.

   "Is good."

   "Now. Unless friend, wishes to stay like this? Perhaps, Elise. You would be so polite? As to..."

   He smiled and pointed at Panic's handcuffed hands.

   "Please. Vladimir? Would very much appreciate, you're... cooperation, in this matter."

   "Oh. Sure.."

   Elise dutifully trotted off and was back in second, with her handcuff keys, and got them off and ran back and deposited them whence they had come from. In her little beach love shack she was sharing with Francois's wife.

   Vlad raised his voice, but only slightly. Just enough to be heard in said beach love shack.

   "Mademoiselle Verte? Come. Say hello, to your good friend. Vladimir. All the... excitement? Is long over. Come, little girl. We all talk now. Is fine."

   The little head peeped around the door, sheepish and grinning. Vlad sat down on the sand, and patted the sand next to him. She smiled, as he put his long meaty arm over and around her. He practically swallowed her up, and gave a her a brief but ever so gentle hug.

   "My little friend here? She knows. We now? Do nothing. But? Talk. This, is not bad thing. Is not good thing? But, is not bad. Boys? Will, be boys. And? Some girls, will... join, in the fun. With the boys. I understand. This? Is all normal."

   "Now. I am superior, in this situation. And so? I, will begin. Then? Another, will go. We will go, until we all know, what everyone else knows. Thinks. Feels. And? We all play on same team. We are all friends. Some of us? Longer, than others. But? All friends. Friends, do this. Then? They laugh about it. Now. Little one..."

   He grinned and poked her nose, scraping it as gently as a newborn's.

   "I will begin? With story. Has nothing, to do with... this. I? Took test. To be, chemist. I did not make test. But? I was, very close. And so. I will read, about being chemist. Let me guess. Little one. Your name? Will pop up, in this. Somewhere. Am I right?"

   "Yes, Vlad."

   "Is fine. And? Here, is story. Chemical reaction. Chemical A, chemical B. Sometimes, the... speed, with which a reaction, take place? Is slow. Or? Fast. Can depend, on many things. How much chemical A, how much chemical B. Temperature, Ph factor, pressure. There can be? Many variables. That... influence, the reaction. But? There are times. There is chemical, C. Chemical C? Is not, in reaction. Only A and B. But? C, is catalyst. Some catalyst? Start reaction. A and B, can not have reaction? Without C present. The, catalyst."

   "And so. Vladimir? Told, what. Little, lie. I hear, entire commotion. Is fine. I am, much amused. Was entertainment. Now. I? Will guess. I first hear... three... chemical A come."

   He pointed at me and Little Lightning and Panic.

   "Drunk, party, fun. Is very good. What island, vacation? Is pretty much, for. Now. I also? Hear... chemical B."

   He pointed at Elise.

   "Again? Is fine. I mean, no disrespect. Elise? You play with boys. Is fine. We have Russian women? That play with boys. I approve. You should meet? Female, Russian fighters. You, would like."

   Vlad chuckled.

   "Slow chemical reaction, take place. With chemical A, and chemical B. Was, amusing. A and B? Had, slow reaction. But... some catalyst? Even if they do not start the reaction. They do? Increase the speed, and the temperature, of this reaction."

   He smiled like a father, at the little French wife. And again scraped her nose, beyond affectionately.

   "And you, little one? Are... the catalyst. You? Took reaction? That, was going at normal speed. And? You made reaction... take, off. Now. I make suggestion. Little one. This, reaction? Took place. In, safe place. In, laboratory. But. If, reaction took place, outside of safe laboratory? With, Chemical A, not being close friends, of Chemical B? The... speed and temperature, of the reaction? Would have been... quicker, and much more violent. It, has that potential."

   Vlad cleared his throat.

   "Now. I think, we all know. Who? Is most important person here. And it is not Vladimir. The most important person? Is you, little one. But, suggestion. There are little people, and big people. If, something like this. Were to develop, out of the laboratory? Please, for the love of all that is holy. Please, not to do what you did, tonight. You will please, take polite suggestion."

   "Example. We are all, at... rowdy drink and dance club. Elise, has this reaction? With... rowdy drunk. If you, were to approach, and threaten to kick drunk man, in handcuffs, in certain Russian dance clubs? Someone, could get killed. I wish to die one day, and to once again, be with my wife and children. But? I can wait, a little while longer. Also? Perhaps, Elise and these people, would like to wait a little while longer, as well."

   "What do you say, little one. In the future, will you let the big people, handle these things? And, stay out of it. Even if you do not cause problem, you can easily, without knowing it? Make problem worse. Potentially, much worse. Chemical reaction, with wrong catalyst, at wrong moment? Can explode. Is not good. For chemicals? Or laboratory. Or, for chemistry professionals, that are present."

   He kissed the top of her head, like a father kisses a little girl. He smiled, and turned his attention to all of us.

   "I am not unhappy. Elise? You, are impressive. You? Are like, strong Russian woman. Very good. I hear, I see. Focus. Dedication. Is good. Very good. Please. Give thinking? To, playing on team. Team? Could use, strong Russian woman. With such focus, and dedication."

   "Actually? I'm... mostly German."

   "Hmm. Is almost as good? As Russian. I like. Now. Little, Lightning. May I call you by that?"

   "Yeah."

   "Thank you. I? Am not displeased. You? Are also strong woman. Very loyal. I am again? Very much impressed. You did, nothing wrong. Loyalty? Is very good thing. Yuri? Would approve. Tonight? Will not make, anyone. Look, bad. Very much, the opposite. Which leave? Merry."

   "Hi, Vlad."

   "Hello. You? Have. I think. Much restraint. Dedication, and focus. This? Is rare, in a woman. Many women? Are, what. Emotional. You? Clinical. I like. You? Are catalyst, but in opposite direction. You? Seek, to limit speed of reaction. Very useful."

   "Which leaves? You."

   Panic waved hello, and grinned.

   "I? Have only, one little question."

   "Yes?"

   "Why, am I not smelling, much rum. In these situations? I am used, to smelling something. And so, I wonder how this came to be. I? Am simply curious."

   Mrs. Verte piped up.

   "I? Think... I, know."

   "Hmm. And how, little one."

   "Elise? You, say. Gallon, rum. He? Say... no, rum. I? Believe."

   "Honey? If these three aren't piss drunk, on rum after we left them relaxing in the surf? How in the hell, do y---"

   "Elise. You? See... my, purse. Is, there."

   "You were looking for it. You said, no money, no ID, no credit cards. No... jewelry. Just, candy. So?"

   "I? Give, them. Early. My? Purse. These? Is not... the, bear. These? Is... the, worm. I... know, these. Now."

   Elise looked puzzled.

   "You gave me a bear. I didn't..."

   Her girlfriend wagged her head no.

   "Bear? Gentle, sweet. Worm? These. What? You, see. The, laugh. The, silly."

   "The worm? Is... stronger."

   "Many, bears? One, worm."

   Elise shook her head and laughed easily.

   "Sorry, Panic. Are you mad at me?"

   "No. I, uh. Have one little issue, though."

   "What."

   "You made me feel... funny."

   "Mm."

   "I never had a boy, manhandle me. And... it gave me a chubby."

   Elise buried her face in her hands, but started laughing quietly.

   "Fuck you, Panic."

   We all cracked up.

   Vlad chuckled. Got up and threw his big loose T shirt on.

   "Ah. All, better."

   A sweet little voice rang out. From Elise's beach shack. Standing in the doorway. Leaning on the doorway, that arm up. The other hand? Dangling her handcuffs. One foot up, and against her other leg. Like a little girl, or a stork.

   "Elise?"

   "Yeah, honey."

   "You? Make... me, jealous. Very, much."

   "How?"

   "I? Want. What? You... do. To? Him. You? Are, cop. I? Am, thief. I? Need, punish. So? I, am. Not? So, spoil."

   She skipped over to us. Smiling cute. She got her little clutch purse. She took out two bears and two worms.

   "Elise? Open. Now."

   Elise sighed, and opened her mouth. She had a dainty finger, gently put a bear on her tongue, and push her chin closed. She took one, and put it on her own tongue. Then? She said "open" again, and repeated it. With a worm each. Elise sighed again. Rolled her eyes.

   "As you can see? She's very shy."

   I grinned.

   "As I can see."

   "Good night, guys."

   Her girlfriend had regained her same pose, in the doorway again. Twirling the handcuffs at her. Smiling.

   "Elise? Come, come."

   "I'm coming."

   "Not, yet? But... soon."

   Elise shook her head at us.

   "Very shy."

   I giggled.

   "Practically? A nun."

   "Don't give her any ideas. She has plenty."

   "Elise?"

   "What now."

   "Come, come."

   Elise went walking.

   "I? Make. You? Scream, loud. But? You, must. Make, me? Do, these. Come..."

   Vlad laughed. Then yelled out at Elise receding.

   "Elise?"

   "Yeah, Vlad."

   "For a boy?"

   Elise giggled.

   "Yes?"

   "Nice boobs!"

   We lost it laughing. Elise suddenly realized, that this whole thing had gone down, start to finish? With her tits out on display. She put her hands over them, and trotted into the little shack. Her mouth open, embarrassed. We could hear squealing and what sounded like swatting sounds. Vlad laughed his ass off. He yelled at them before turning to us again.

   "Fuck, police!"

   The girlfriend appeared in the doorway, her hands behind her back. Ostensibly handcuffed, and her bikini bottom had already vanished. Elise's hand shoving her to standing there. She got a friendly swat on her behind and she giggled.

   "These, no. Police? Fuck... me."

   Another squeal as she got yanked in and the door closed.

   "Well? I, want another couple hours. Of nap. I? Am going fishing. With, your Rob. And? Skykid."

   I wondered aloud.

   "Where are those two, anyways."

   "Oh. On, the Tadpole. Rob? Found a friend. Everyone? Is drinking, and fucking. You should join them. Is what, vacation? Is for. So. Go. Eat, worms. Swim? Naked. Beach, is private? And. No sharks. Is best shark net, money can buy. Very safe. Rob told me. We will fish? And, perhaps scuba dive. I wish to try. Am looking forward to try? Very much. Good night."

   "Good night, Vlad. Thanks!"

   "Is fine. Night? Most amusing."

   I walked over to his cabana. I suddenly realized? We had gone in there, and not seen him. The hell? These are little shacks. I knocked lightly.

   "Yes."

   "Its Merry."

   "I will not be joining, the... orgy. But? You tell me how much fun it was. Tomorrow. After I fish, and scuba."

   "No. Vladimir?"

   "Yes, Merry."

   "We were in there. Why didn't we..."

   "Come. I am dressed. I show you."

   I opened the door, slowly. I realized that in the corner, under the bed? What looked like an extra cushion, left there? Wasn't. It was the lid, to a big thick, wicker... like, under the cushion in the plane. His head and hand came up.

   Once again? He slept like an animal, in its den at night. Hidden. Safe. He obviously had dug out the loose sand, and put in the giant wicker container with expensive blankets. He sighed.

   "Is from, fighting. In Ukraine. During fight? You sleep, like this, there. For safety. I? Still sleep, in this manner. I know. Seem strange. But? Your American Marines. They sleep? Under vehicles. For? Same reason. It is? Habit."

   "Good night, Vladimir."

   "Good night, Merry. Have fun."

   "Thanks."

   I left him. Poor guy. I realized something. All people I knew, that had lives touched by any kind of hell and violence? Had some kind of problem, and it for some reason? Tended to be, among any other things, something around bedtime.

   Little Lightning? Had to sleep at the boys place, and didn't ever bring one home. In college. She was like that for a long time. She went back to it, after Wizzy was killed. She's over it by now, but it was an ongoing therapy issue. You don't bring your partner to your nest. You go to his? You come home, alone. Alone? Is safe.

   Elise? Lost the ability to sleep with boys, and switched to girls. By necessity. Even though she wasn't like that, before being beaten and raped violently, and left for dead in an alley. Now that I think about it? I have no idea if she brings her girlfriends to her travel trailer she lives in, or goes to their nest. I wouldn't ask.

   Panic? Has bad dreams, and intermittent sleep disruptions.

   Vlad? Well. He sleeps like an animal, hiding in its den. I'm not sure he mates at all. He shows no inclination towards trying, and indeed? Politely does all he can, to rebuff any advances that come his way. He mentioned it tonight as a joke? But still. He wants to be dead. To join his wife and children. It passed for polite interaction, but... it has a hint of more than casual gallows humor to the words.

   I myself, after Wizzy's death. I went to two four hour sleeping shifts, to replace the normal eight hour single one I was used to, before that. I stayed like that? Until my emotions came flooding back years later. Only then, did I start sleeping normally once again.

   This fucking world, that we have to live in.

   The best world, of all possible worlds.

   Me, Panic and Lightning? All went skinny dipping. And by swimming naked? Its a euphemism. For fucking weightless in the warm water, and in the edge of the warm surf and smooth wet sand. We heard the occasional scream every now and again, and knew it came from either Elise or her girlfriend. We made one back now and again, ourselves. Me or Little Lightning, did the occasional squeal or scream. Panic made us make them.

   Poor Vladimir.