Chapter 2 - Getting Up

   I got up early. Its another one of my whole list of, I'm so spoiled things. I grew up with parents concerned about, well... parent things. Were my teeth straight? Did I have the dreaded curvature of the spine? As kids, you never know where your parents get their pet fears from, what might be wrong with you as a kid. The school nurse would feel along our spines, on special days they lined us up for it.

   My parents? We have no hunchbacks in the family I'm aware of, but the family doctor had to assure them just as well. Felt her spine, its fine. I had a friend in grade-school who had to visit the eyeglasses doctor once a year, just in case. Another? Hearing test every other year or thereabouts. One boy had to visit the orthodontist after the yearly dentist visit, and get molds made of his teeth. Just to make sure.

   So where my parents got the irrational fear I'd end up a curled over hunchback, I have no idea.

   But getting up early, feeling rested after an eight hour night? God, how spoiled am I. I grew up like that, surely. Lost that the night after my boyfriend got shot. My eight hours turned into two 4 hour shifts. Lived like that for years, then? It vanished when the emotions came back and stayed. I fell asleep early, I got up early.

   Just the little things like that, I treasure. You can't take anything for granted. Don't ever complain that your partner clings to you in their sleep, and drools in your neck. If you get over it, and tolerate it? If you ever lose them, you'll find out the cold hard truth in my words.

   You'll miss the things that you thought annoyed you, when they're gone? Even more than the things you know you'd miss. I talk to his little movie, like he can hear me. I can just mouth the words, he's in my head, he can hear me fine. Unlike most people, they're troubled by the bad images burned into their eyeballs, flashing in front of their eyes. Mine? I love it, it comforts me. Its like he's with me, my own personal guardian angel.

   I have to live up to his expectations of me, and I feel really good that I think he's pleased. I think I made every decision right, and did my part to live up to the code. So now? I can finally just try to enjoy parts of my life when I can. I'm standing here in my long sleeping T shirt, looking down on him on our giant bed.

   Spring is finally enough here now. The chilly nights still come, but they tingle and don't bite. Morning mist dispels with less or more sun's rays. Ever since my emotions came back, I get more out of sunrises and sunsets. You only get so many.

   We came to here, by chance. We ended up staying here, equally by chance. That's karma at work. It puts you where it needs you. He has his gun shop, and our place above it and around it. He got the small town old bank building, for his gun shop. The rest? Most everything is polished marble and pretty finished wood.

   We stay there definitely in the winter, and more. But we started out our time here in the little shotgun shack cabin, on the gun range property. He likes it, and the cats like it. So I like it, too. To our cats, that's my cat and his cat put together like us? Where we sleep, is where they want to be. The old cabin, suits them just fine.

   I quickly realized, I'm no different. Wherever he sleeps? That's where I sleep. We're all just cats, I suppose. We have a pretty nice travel trailer on wheels thing. An extra bedroom over the fifth wheel hitch. It puts the shotgun shack to shame, in all categories. Size, comfort, modern conveniences. He still likes his cabin. So, all winter and more there's our place above and below the bank building he converted. Early spring, late fall? If some nights could be a bit much, we have the nice trailer, right near the cabin.

   Spring has sprung enough now, that we're getting cabin time. I'm a little chilly in nothing but my long sleeping T shirt, looking down on his still sleeping form. I've already followed the cats outside quietly, and squatted a morning pee out. He got us a used coffee machine for here, but I just made the morning coffee with boiling water and coffee grounds, like he does it. Like everything else? It grows on you.

   Remember, he's a reincarnation of my lover sent back to me. Must be a service thing, they pick up making coffee the old fashioned way. You can bring him 20 dollar a pound gourmet coffee grounds when you're out shopping and thought of him? I'm sure the good stuff is meant to be done better, but he just boils it, a pinch of salt and some cold water settles the loose grinds out from the rolling boil, and... pour carefully.

   I could spend a hundred dollars on some honest to god supposedly rare and desirable coffee? Boiled with a pinch of salt and cold water splashed in at the end.

   That's him, in a nutshell.

   My cat's following me around, his cat is on the bed still with him, but sitting up and no longer snuggling. Both cats joined me to watch my morning pee went according to their specifications. I didn't get meowed at, I must have done it right.

   We threw down a new to us chunk of carpeting for the bed area of the cabin. Its become a thing. Every spring? When we give the cabin its first live in of the spring. We go to the junk store in town, and get a chunk of carpeting from a stack they have there. This year? Looks more expensive, though it was the same junk price. One of those oriental rugs you roll out, all heavy and thick and all detailed in design.

   Neither one of us knows shit about expensive carpets, and have no way to tell if we have something desirable and will just kill it by using it as a shield from the dirt floor. I like it though. I can step out of my terry cloth lined jogging shoes at the carpeting, instead of just at the bed. In the trailer, I can walk around barefoot and don't have to go outside to pee in the morning. Same at the bank property. Here? Well, its another one of the things you wouldn't think you'd miss if they went away tomorrow.

   I set the coffee mug for him down. Close enough he can smell it, far enough away it won't get a pillow dunked into it on accident. Its not working quick enough, so I slipped my foot under the edge of the covers as stealthy as I can manage. I wormed it under him. He made a soft noise and rolled, but came back on my foot and settled in again.

   I moved my foot now and then, to keep him rolling and grousing in his sleep. I finally got him awake. This is the pretend he's still sleeping game. I'm used to this.

   Ritual.

   "Ling Ling. That you?"

   "House, peeping. You need peeped?"

   "Mm. Ling Ling. Did your Joe ever tell you? About mornings."

   "House, peeping. You want peep peep, Joe?"

   "See, Ling Ling? In our culture, we have two kinds of people. Morning people, and regular people."

   "Joe, morning peep."

   "Now then, Ling Ling. I don't see sunshine, coming under the door. That means? Its early. Now. I don't hear guns and bombs going off, either. And that means? I don't have to get up."

   I moved my foot more, under the covers and under him. I'm nestled under the hollow between his hip and rib cage pressing down, he's a side sleeper.

   "House, peeping."

   "Mm. Ling Ling?"

   "Joe."

   "I thought having the nympho model? Because that's what they sent me, in the box I got you out of. Thought the nympho model would be, you know... fun. Every man's fantasy. A girlfriend? That seems like she actually likes him, and even seems to actually enjoy sex."

   "You like nympho peeping."

   "Mm. How many days have I had you now, Ling ling. Can I send you back?"

   "No send back. Too long. You keep now. House, peeping."

   Now he pretends to roll over. I get the little comedian show. Blinking, what's going on face, shaking the head, what the?

   "Oh. Good morning. I thought I was dreaming."

   He rolled over, and hugged my ankle and puts his head on my foot on the edge of the mattress. I get my ankle kissed good morning.

   "And what did you dream about."

   "I thought it was all a dream. The mix up, when I ordered a new internet girlfriend. The one I ordered? She was here. Little Ling Ling."

   "She had little Chinese feet for a girl, didn't she."

   "Yeah, like size 5 in a man's shoe. Dainty little thing."

   "I thought you liked educated girls. Now its small feet."

   "Ling Ling? I specifically ordered three college degrees. You came with four. Some days? I question if two wouldn't have been fine."

   I put the other ankle up instead. He hugged and laid his head down on that one.

   "This one, gets jealous."

   This ankle, has the little chain and charm on it. It gets a few extra kisses. He professes to love my ankles, and now he's nosing at my ankle charm, watching it wiggle after each gentle nose rub. The occasional soft kiss on it.

   "You awake yet, or... you need house peeping."

   "Can I get the coffee first, or, do I have to peep to get the coffee."

   I knelt down and gave him the coffee, and sidled up under the covers next to him with my own. We're both now face down, up on elbows, covers up to our shoulders as best we can keep them. We take turns both getting and keeping it perfect.

   "I was thinking. Maybe a morning walk."   

   "Before or after, peeping."

   "Maybe a run, maybe a hike. Something."

   "Is there a fog or a mist?"

   "Yeah."

   "Okay. I like early morning mist."

   I smiled at him.

   "No peeping first?"

   "Don't wanna miss the fog."

   "All right."

   We got dressed quick. Its not that warm in the cabin. He likes to not use the heater and just get under another blanket whenever possible. I've done it with him in a cold snap once, just to prove it can be done. Several blankets both above and below us. Both cats coming for the under the covers party. Giggling with food and drinks and snacks under the covers, hiding from the cold. Complaining at getting up to go the bathroom and getting back in. Grousing at the person that had to go answer nature's call, and you have to get that cold blast as they peel back and slip in again.

   We both wear the same size boots and shoes, size 12 men's. We have quite a collection of jogging shoes, work boots, cowboy boots, you name it. We just grab each others footwear, its all for both of us. Bulk packs of white cotton athletic socks, crew height. We share the XXL T shirts and sweats, too. Honestly jeans is about the only thing we keep separate. My hips and thighs make for something that fits him weird.

   I guess I get the thrill of wearing my man's clothes, and I tease him about how he's technically cross dressing. Really, the clothes are very tomboy and masculine enough that I'm the one cross dressing, and we both know it. Its a nice morning, and the first rays will be here soon and dispersing the mist. We might just walk to town, its only a couple miles then back.

   "So. What are you thinking about. Its something."

   "Eh. Told you, I found that place that puts the hot tubs in. I can get as many hot tub bodies as I can drag home. Anyone calls for work? They just highball the work, and it leads to another sale."

   "You think you can work on the things."

   "I can work on anything, technically. Its if I can learn how to work on them, effectively or not."

   "Well?"

   "I think, yeah."

   I waited a little bit.

   "Really. I thought there might be something else. Call it my hunch."

   He sighed.

   "See? One of those rare times, where I think three, or even two degrees? Would have been perfect."

   "The more you say cute things like that? The more I know I'm right."

   "Of course you're right. When are you wrong."

   "It happens. I got a hole in my neck and a deep bullfrog croak for a voice box. I sure got that one wrong. Almost got killed in DC, almost got killed out here once. Despite what you may or may not have heard? I am not, in fact, perfect."

   "I love your deep voice. Really makes house peeping, just so..."

   "Yeah. So you keep telling me. I'd have poked a hole in my throat when I was younger, if only I'd known how the rusty voice drives boys wild."

   "And, just like that. I got out of telling you."

   "Well?"

   He sighed.

   "Him. Thinking of, him."

   "Never goes away, huh."

   "I tried. Some days, just for a few days. Yeah."

   "You ever think of taking a serious run at it?"

   "Hell yeah."

   "If you ever wanna try, I don't mind."

   He sighed.

   "Its not healthy. To dwell on that stuff."

   "Dwell a little. We have a nice walk to take."

   "Down at the equator? That didn't all need to be. Everyone and everything was doing just fine, before some malcontent woke up one day, and decided. Hey. I should get a war going, somewhere. I can use that, to make a lot more cash. I already have too much to hide under my mattress? But lets make some more."

   "You said it was really a land war."

   "Really about, what was under the land. Mainly the coal rights. Natural gas there, too. Unfortunately? Its hard to explain to the people that lived over top of it for all those generations, that you're on their coal."

   "You know something. We manage in this country, to get coal and gas out? Without slaughtering the people on the surface. Just saying."

   "Civilization. Yes. You have a right to get to what you own the rights to, buried way down in the ground. But, you have to think of the poor schmucks on the surface. But see, really rich people? They think differently. They think outside the box. Not like us normal people. We go, oh. Costs this much to move each little village. Huh. Wonder what it costs, to just wipe them out, instead? Hey. Its cheaper, in bulk. Lets do that, then."

   "I understand, conflict. I understand, fighting over resources. I understand all kinds of silly shit I don't do, but I know its just business as usual. What I'll never get my head around, is seeing the kinds of shit they did to those villagers, to get them moving. Not that I approve of stampeding cattle and driving the herd through the village to get to the coal and gas underneath, but... I can live with that. But, the things those assholes did, to those villagers? I'll never understand that. As long as I might live, I'll never see it the way they do. It makes me wanna vomit, just to think about it."

   "That's because deep down? You're actually a very good person."

   "So you keep telling me."

   We walked in silence some more steps, before I asked.

   "So. What's our favorite billionaire up to. How does the other half live these days. I know you know, if you're thinking like this."

   "Tax exile."

   "What?"

   "His new thing, right now. He's in... tax exile."

   "What even is that. I heard the words before. I know what a tax is, I know what being in exile means. What's tax exile? Billionaires do it, it must be something better than it sounds like."

   "Apparently, tax exile? Is this. He lives mainly in France. The French, did something with taxes. He's rich, go figure it hurts him. So, until he can move money around, or do whatever the hell people with that much money do, to make things all better? You go into tax exile. You spend enough time out of the country, and you don't owe taxes. I had to read about it as an idea. If you make enough money, and you add up all your taxes and it seems like a lot to you? Why not just travel on that money all year. Why give it away, for nothing. You go into tax exile? You get to spend all that tax money, on you and yours."

   "Sounds fun, really."

   "Of course it sounds fun. When you're that rich? I guess everything is... fun. A guerrilla war in some third world country? That's fun, too. I always wondered. Did they tell him the things they were doing, to get the villagers scared and moving? Or, send him pictures. Videos. Or, did he just tell them to wing it, and get results, and no need to inform him. I'm curious."

   "Well. Now? You're just torturing yourself."

   "I guess. But you asked. And right now? He's waiting out the French... whatever you have to do, to kiss the ass of the rich guy and all. Get his tax law the way he wants it, or... move money around on paper, so its better. I don't know. But he's doing it, and he's doing the tax exile traveling while he does it."

   "He's taking an extended vacation. What a concept."

   "He gives talks now and then. Right now? The advantages of tax exile and how useful and fun it is."

   "Where is it. This, island of tax misfits. They all have to be somewhere, bitching about tax laws over breakfast."

   "That's just it. When you go tax exile? You drop off radar. Oh, he was in this country, sighted doing this. Oh, look. He's in that country. Giving a little talk, and taking this or that tour. When you get bored? You take a plane or a boat and go somewhere else."

   "Pretend you're that rich. Where would you go for over a year."

   "I would want to go... I don't know. I figured billionaires, go to private islands they rent."

   "Then everyone knows where they are. No one knows where he is."

   "Hmm. You're right. I guess, if I was him? I'd slum it. Just, go on some regular cruise ship. Three week cruise? Great. Then, get another one. Those big cruise ships, they all dock in the same areas. If you have the money and a passport, you can hop from cruise ship to cruise ship."

   He got into thinking out loud.

   "People are just people. Underneath it all. We all have similar motives."

   I thought about it.

   "More or less. You grow up different, you have a different world view. But the basic processes? Take place in all of us."

   "Well. I like little stuff. Old stuff. Like making my coffee, the way the old timers made it. Boil some water. My cabin. I get enjoyment out of, what. Slumming it."

   "You do."

   "Well? I'm a naughty billionaire. How would I, you know. Rough it."

   "Uh, boil some water..."

   "No. That's me. I'm normal. This cat's a multi-billionaire. For him, just hanging around the normal, run of the mill millionaires? He'd feel like he was really roughing it, with all the great unwashed masses."

   "Have to rough it, having poor people do your pedicure."

   "Yeah."

   We walked some more.

   "It would never work. You can't just... that's not a plan. We hop from boat to boat, hoping to catch sight of our favorite naughty billionaire, trying to blend in."

   More walking.

   "I meant what I told Uncle Mikey. I'm taking a vacation eventually. He's always bugging me, I'm almost to the point that I'm losing vacation days, I have to use some up. Not that we couldn't try to just enjoy that, and if you had a little side hobby while we took a few boats? So much the better. We could call it a working vacation."

   "Honey. If you got an itch, to take a big boat ride for two or three weeks? Just tell me. We have money. You don't need an excuse, if that's what you want."

   "Honestly? I don't... need, the vacation. I'm still entranced with sunrise and sunset, and clouds I see that look pretty. Told you. When that gets same old same old? I'll tell you its time we went somewhere."

   "You sound serious."

   I sighed now.

   "DC. My motel room. What did you do for me."

   "Guy came for me, too."

   "Then when 16 of them came up here?"

   "We both did that."

   "Yeah, and we both know who was doing who, the favor."

   "We don't keep score."

   "Score's still there, even if we just play and don't keep track. Then, the last one."

   "Hey. That asshole, came after Little Lightning. He brought it on himself."

   "He did. But, it started with I wanted something. It just led to that."

   "What's your point."

   "No one owes anybody, god forbid. But, maybe you could get to enjoy a little vacation, even if you wouldn't normally do that. Just, something for you, for once. And, if the universe wants you to find him? You will. In our own, perverted little way... wouldn't this make your vacation, a little bit fun?"

   "I got you a tanning bed. Hell, you got two of them. You know I was just buying you off, right? So I didn't have to go traipsing all over god's creation, every winter so you can get a tan. Go lay down, flick a switch, set a timer."

   I giggled.

   "The more you grouse about it? The more you're thinking about it. Its just food for thought. Chew on it."

   "Like I'm a vacation person."

   "Mm. The more you're not a vacation person? Maybe that's the more you need it. You never know."

   "Like... you're a vacation person."

   "As I already said. If you were technically on a working vacation? Maybe you could get so wrapped up in your hobby? You'd forget to complain you were on vacation."

   "Do I have to say yes?"

   "No. Of course not. Chew on it."

   "All right."