Strolling through the hallways illumined by the orange sun of dusk that pierced through the windows, Himo hummed a lullaby. Its tone was akin to that his violin often sounded, waving between stages of happiness, action, and melancholy. Phylia followed him as usual. The two walked through several doors and, after a while, reached his room.
“System, unlock the next function.”
[Detracting 25 BS points…]
[Thanks for your patronage!]
[You now have 43 BS points.]
[Unlocking new function…]
[A new function has been unlocked: Monsterhouse - Tower of Despair. You can access it exclusively from the Menu.]
[Monsterhouse - Tower of Despair]
[Possessing an infinite number of floors, the tower is a monsters-filled dungeon that brings both danger and fortune. Each completed floor will award a number of BS points equivalent to the number of the floor.]
“Hoh?” Himo locked the room and sat on his bed. He smirked. “It looks like my time of poverty has finally ended! Menu!”
A dark display appeared in his sight.
[The Bullsh*t System]
[BS points: 43]
[Infopoint]
[Shop]
[Quests]
[Storage]
[Status]
[Real-Time Map]
[Monsterhouse - Tower of Despair]
Himo pushed the button representing the last function. And everything around him crumbled. Walls, furniture, Phylia… everything in his sight whirled in a spiral akin to a liquid flowing down a drain. His surroundings changed.
He found himself in the entryway of a tower. In a short hallway where cold stone blocks acted as floor, walls, and ceiling. Grey filled his surroundings, mixed with the warm light from several lamps fixed to the walls.
[In the monsterhouse, only despair is allowed. Tamed monsters will not help the user.]
“…Where is this?” Behind him, grand boulders blocked the exit, and in front, metal jail bars hid a room that held the same pattern of hard stones. “Is that an arena?” Its shape was circular, and its floor lacked objects.
A monitor connected to the ceiling descended to his view. In it, he could see an orange number—it was a countdown. Starting from ten, it fell to nine, eight, seven… and soon reached zero. Four speakers drooped from each corner of the room. The jail bars sprang upward and crashed with a loud clang. The way to the room was open.
And in the center, a dummy awaited him.
“What?” Himo blinked. “What’s a dummy doing here?”
[To advance to the next floor, eliminate every monster. The system won’t provide any help, and aside from the storage, all the functions are temporarily locked. Have fun while getting eaten alive by the monsters!]
“Eaten alive… by a dummy?” Himo stared dumbly at the dummy. “Ah!” He snapped his fingers. “Could this be the tutorial room?” He took out a sword—the kidnapper leader's sword—and dashed with but a [Hopper]. With great momentum, he leaped to the dummy and slashed.
The dummy opened its mouth to bite the child, but the sword beheaded it before it could move. A thud sounded, and its head rolled on the stone up to the wall.
“That was supposed to be an ambush?” His lips twitched.
[Congratulations! You defeated the first floor!]
As soon as the system announced those words, a staircase of stone protruded out of the wall and a passage opened to the next floor. The four speakers on the corners, meanwhile, sounded a victory beat.
“Really? That’s it?”
[If you want to continue, please proceed to the second floor. Otherwise, walk back to the entrance or say “I give up!”]
Himo’s eyes moved between the corpse, the staircase, and the entrance. “System, are you making fun of me?”
The system didn’t answer.
“Could it be that it won’t reply here?” Himo sighed as he stepped on the staircase. “Oh, well.”
The staircase was short. He had to climb for but a few meters before a second room entered his sight. The monitor with the counter fell from the ceiling, announcing yet again when the jail bars before him would introduce him to his next opponent. Ten… nine… eight… time passed quickly, and four speakers descended from the four corners. Soon enough, zero was reached and the jail bars sprang upwards.
“Rooaar!” A towering roar exploded into a burst of air that assaulted Himo. Goosebumps assaulted his arms, and he soon froze at the sight of the monster.
A floating redfish the size of a basketball.
“What?” Himo rubbed his eyes. “Is this… a joke?”
[To advance to the next floor, eliminate every monster. The system won’t provide any help, and aside from the storage, all the functions are temporarily locked. Have fun while getting eaten alive by the monsters!]
“You’ve already said that!” Himo frowned. He stared a the fish in mid-air. After a second of thought, his disappointment quickly turned into glee. “Oh, right! Free BS points!”
He drew out the sword. At his command appeared an invisible platform under his feet, and he darted for the fish. He lounged the sword, ready to pierce through the body of the monster—
The fish rolled with a side-flip and dodged the blade by a hair’s breadth.
Himo blinked. His eyes followed the monster whose body kept rotating—the fish swapped its pins and, shaking the surrounding air, rammed onto the child’s belly. “Wha-?!” Himo was sent flying and crashed against the wall.
The fish circled up and down the room. Its pupils stared at the child.
Out of breath, Himo leaned against the wall. He held his belly and stared at the redfish as it danced. Neither of them made any offense and, before long, the pain in his abdomen quelled. A laugh arose in its place. “Let’s see if you can dodge this!” With a wave of his hand, a violin appeared. He played it. Unlike his usual plays where variety abounded, the melody was stale, slow, and pacific.
The fish stopped. The landscape had changed. Little gray was in sight, for everything had turned into a cluster of reflections—the fish found itself surrounded by its opponent’s images and by countless of other fish like it.
Those images were trapped within numerous glass panels: the place had become a labyrinth of mirrors.
The fish looked left and right, confounded as to what happened. It found both the images of its allies and its opponent moving about, trying to escape the glass. After a moment, the fish rammed onto a mirror to save one of its allies, but the blow burst the mirror and the fish ended up on the other side. It froze. In silence, it glanced at its right—
And a nearing black blade split it in half.
"Got you!"
[Congratulations! You defeated the second floor!]
As the system announced that, the four speakers made lousy celebration noises. Like the first time, a staircase to the next floor protruded out of the wall.
[If you want to continue, please proceed to the second floor. Otherwise, walk back to the entrance or say “I give up!”]
“So they are automated messages?” Himo narrowed his eyes. “…Are they really going to repeat for every floor?” He let out a sigh as he glanced at the speakers. Shaking his head, he headed to the third floor. The same process as before happened, and the usual jail bars sprang upward. However, the opponent in the room was no weakling anymore.
Lying on the hard stone, three wolves glanced at the child who stepped into the room. Each had different-colored fur: one white, one gray, and one black.
Himo frowned and took out the scythe. He pointed the blade to the right of his opponents and walked forward, step by step.
The gray wolf stood up and stretched, leaning backward. Its back legs sprang as its figure turned blurry, speeding to the child.
Taken aback, Himo took a step backward and slashed at the coming wolf. But the wolf ducked under the blade and, stepping on the ground, curved its dash before slashing at the child’s tight with its claws. “Urgh!” Ignoring the groan of the child, the wolf turned around and leaped to bite the neck of its prey. But a violin blocked it.
The wolf jumped back and took distance from Himo. Meanwhile, the other wolves lied on the ground, unbothered by the presence of a challenger.
Himo stroked the cut on his tight. “It’s not deep…” He heaved a sigh of relief and turned his attention to the wolves. “Interesting!” He raised the scythe and leaned it on his back. “Come!” As he said that, he started to whirl the scythe in his hands. He was done underestimating them.
The gray wolf didn’t make him wait. It dashed toward the child yet again.
A smirk grew on Himo’s face. His scythe kept rotating, and, as though he predicted the attack of the wolf, the blade was ready to meet its assault.
The wolf stopped. It jumped to the wall and then leaped toward its prey. But the child took two steps to his right as he pulled the handle. The scythe changed path. And the wolf, being mid-air, could only watch as the tip of the blade downed upon it like a hammer bringing its judgment.
“Minus one,” Himo chuckled. He stabilized the rotation of the scythe and looked at the two remaining wolves. The two stood up and glanced at each other. Unlike their previous relaxed behavior, all their attention was directed to the child.
They each rushed from their spot. The white wolf sped toward Himo’s legs, while the black aimed at his torso. They each dashed from diverse angles—the white from the right, the black from the left.
Himo retreated slightly, taking multiple steps toward his right side. His hands, meanwhile, kept whirling the scythe.
The white wolf stooped as it ran, nearly scraping against the floor. It neared on the legs of the child.
But an invisible platform appeared under Himo’s feet. He darted upward, warping the momentum of the scythe into that of a falling crescent moon. The blade split the wolf in half.
And the black wolf jumped down from the ceiling, darting toward him. Abusing the moment where the blade of the scythe stood downward, the wolf showed its fangs. It aimed at the neck of the child.
Himo released the scythe. He swung a hand and took out the violin. “Come, my shield!” He slammed the violin on the wolf.
The blow sent the wolf against the floor. Following a resounding thud, it spurted blood. Yet, it growled and forced itself to stand up, only for a sword to pierce its torso.
Himo sighed loudly and fell butt-first on the cold, hard stone. “This was… wonderful.” His pulse sped up in his excitement. His lips curled upward.
[Congratulations! You defeated the third floor!]
Once again, celebratory noises sounded, followed by the appearance of the staircase.
[If you want to continue, please proceed to th—]
“Stop. Repeating. That!” Himo rolled his eyes.
[Additional note: interrupting announcements is rude.]
“Repeating them every minute is also rude!” He shook his head and stood up. He walked up the staircase for the third time and soon reached the entrance of the fourth floor.
As the countdown neared zero, Himo chuckled. "With this, I've made six BS points... if I keep going like this, I'll soon be rich!" Following those words, the jail bars opened. At the reveal of his next opponents, Himo blinked several times.
With their firm, muscular green skin, humanoid creatures banged their fat bellies in celebration. They dwelled in primitive dances, skipping their legs as their ripped skirts dangled from their movements. But at the sight of the child, they stopped and grabbed the heavy metal bats they had placed on the walls. They showed their rough, yellow teeth as they drooled.
"Kid..."
"Food..."
"Tasty..."
"Oh." Himo stiffened. "A difficulty spike."
