The day Janus would return, I woke up like any other day. I brushed out my bed hair and changed from my nightgown into my new dress. Even this new dress I got two weeks ago is already starting to be too small again. It seems I will have to ask Rosalia for one where I can adjust its size with buttons until I give birth. Otherwise, I would have to get a new one every other week, and that is simply not feasible. Already, most of my wages are eaten up by clothes. Clothes that will be way too big for me and basically useless once I’m no longer pregnant. I swear, if I didn’t have a job where people see me, and there weren’t maids who would just come into my room unannounced, I would just be naked until my pregnancy ends.
After lamenting over my shrinking wardrobe, I make my way down to the clinic. The Ibasan attacks have all but stopped, and we can see them packing up their remaining supplies and soldiers, ready for retreat. On my way down, I can see people gathering around the main gate leading to Roots through a window. It was like a colony of ants running around, placing decorations like the last remaining autumn flowers, as well as banners and flags on every window. Soon, the entire main street leading from Roots all the way to Rosedorn was covered in decorations, and people were waiting on the sides, eagerly waiting for Wilhelm Yuwen and their loved ones to return. I could even spot Madam Olivia, as well as Jack, William, Averell, and the rest of the Yuwen Family, most of whom I haven’t even seen up close yet, waiting for them to return.
They were already beginning to celebrate even though the Ibasan Banners could still be seen swaying in the wind just outside of our wall. It was a little bizarre, but I guess after all the bad news lately, they needed to celebrate something.
I noticed I had been looking out of the window longer than I had wanted and hastily went down the stairs. When I finally reach my clinic, though, I’m only greeted by empty beds, and even Benjamin isn’t here to welcome me.
I’m alone.
Everyone is in a festive mood, eagerly preparing for a welcoming party. Even the Families who have lost someone were helping in the preparations. When we got the last message, there was an extra page listing all the men who had lost their lives during the undead siege. Thirty-two of the initial fifty-two men had lost their lives. So over half of them had died before Wilhelm Yuwen’s party arrived. Janus could have been among them. He could have died, and I’m sitting here alone, unsure whether I should welcome him like everybody else or if I should hide myself away in some corner. Old fears are resurfacing, raising their ugly heads. What if he remembered? What would he say? How will he react when he sees me? Why am I such a coward? Wasn’t I supposed to do better in this life and change?
But no, I haven’t changed at all. I’m still deathly afraid of change and conflict, despite or maybe even more so because of the last few weeks of siege and Rodricks’ betrayal. I should be celebrating the return of my friend who is about to return from a perilous battle…
At that moment, Rika burst through the door, breaking my spiral of self-loathing.
“Sigh, I should have known you were here. I looked all over for you.”
“Ehm, why have you been looking for me?”
“Don’t act stupid, I’m here to bring you to the main gate. Everyone is waiting for them, and many have already asked why you aren’t there already.”
“But I…”
“No buts. Janus is about to come back, and Joel, I guess… You simply must be there, so move that lazy ass of yours and let’s go already.”
Rika forcefully grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I follow along without much resistance. Maybe it will work out. I entertain this new, naive Idea until we reach the main gate. All eyes were on me. And I could hear some whispers in the large crowd. Before I could slip away in panic, I could feel Rika’s grip tightening. If I left now, everyone would only get more curious. Meanwhile, Rika pulled me towards a small gap in the large crowd.
There, Janus and Joel’s Family had gathered. Everyone was here. From the small Fiona to Anna, even Maya had left… most of her books… behind as she was calmly reading along while waiting for her husband and stepsons, who were about to return from a harrowing month-long battle against undead hordes. Maybe I was freaking out over nothing. That was until Rika shoved me into a chair right next to Madam Olivia, with Bella standing right behind her.
I turned around, ready to ask Rika why she had brought me here, but she was already gone. Somehow, my so-called best friend feels more and more like my worst enemy.
But before I can get away, Madam Olivia exclaimed,
“Oh, there you are, and I feared you wouldn’t come. Are you alright, dear?”
The moment she spoke, the rest of the family started looking at me with curious eyes, and even Maya took a second to look up from her book.
“Uhm, I’m alright, madam. I just overslept.”
It felt like not everyone bought that lie, but thankfully, no one pressed me on it as they all looked ahead.
A few minutes later, we could see the Banner of Rosedorn peak over the hill. A red banner with a blue cross dividing the banner into four red corners with a gold-trimmed black shield, embraced by thornless Yellow Roses in the middle.
As the banners flowed down the hill, I could hear the people cheer in the distance as the Soldiers passed by them. And I grew more and more nervous with every new wave of cheers erupting in the distance, coming closer and closer. Everyone was so happy, yet I wanted nothing more than to disappear. Why was I here right next to his family in the first place? Even Averall’s girlfriend, Juliet, wasn’t here; she was a few meters away, right next to her father. Why couldn’t I just disappear into the crowd? But for some reason, no one found it weird to see me right next to them as if it was the most natural place for me to be in. Even Otto, the family’s personal teacher, was far off, chatting with Benjamin and Rika. When did they all get so close?
And then I saw him. He looked thin and rugged. Gone was the cleanly shaven face; now it was replaced with short brown stubble. His hair had grown longer now covering most of his forehead. And it could have been an illusion, but I could swear his shoulders have become wider.
His eyes passed down his family and then fell on me, and he immediately started to grin from ear to ear like an idiot. And I liked it? Maybe a strong word, but I at least didn’t dislike him being happy to see me. Before, I feared how he might react. But now I at least knew that he didn’t dislike me. Again, all his family were looking at me, and I tried my best to ignore them.
I couldn’t even blame them. His entire family is here. He hadn’t seen his mother in months, and he is still openly happier to see me than her. If my son pulled something like that in the future, I think I would ground him for a month. But contrary to my belief, Madam Olivia’s smile widened even more. I feel like I’m the only one who isn’t in on a joke that is happening all around her.
When Janus reached us, the cheers erupted even louder as Janus and Joel dismounted their horses, shortly followed by their father, Wilhelm. Before anyone could do anything, Madam Olivia stood up. She steadily walked on her cane towards Janus and Joel, embracing them both in a tight hug while almost accidentally striking her husband with her cane… accidentally…
“Oh, I have missed you two so much, and Joel, have you lost weight? You look good. And Janus, why haven’t you shaved? Is that a new loo you are trying out?”
Janus freed himself from his nagging mother, going straight towards me before thankfully being stopped by his brothers, Jack, William, and Averall. Together, the three teased and bombarded Janus with annoying questions such as why he was happier to see me than his brothers or if he had missed an undead squirrel on his face.
Meanwhile, Joel was “greeted” by his mother Anna, who only managed a lackluster Handshake. A freaking Handshake? Hug your damn son, you old hag, will you? But Joel doesn’t even seem to care as he happily lifts up his niece, the little Maggie (Margret), over his head. Allowing the little girl to see the cheering crowd around her. She happily giggled along as Joel greeted one family member after another, beginning with her mother, Emilia.
About then, Janus had finally been freed from his brothers, only to be approached by his sister Fiona, who also wanted to be lifted up like her niece. Now, both girls were laughing along as they rode on the shoulders of their uncle and big brother, respectively.
Wilhelm himself, meanwhile, found himself in a never-ending bear hug from Fionas and Averall’s mother, Julia, who refused to let go. Meanwhile, Emilia looked upon the family’s chaotic meeting with a melancholic smile. Her sister Marthe was the only member of her immediate family who wasn’t present, as she lived with her husband and his family in the capital. As for Emilia’s husband and Maggie’s father, he had died the year prior during another Ibasan siege. He was a noble who had been sent to the wall on the orders of the king. He had left his wife and his two daughters back home in the south. Perhaps she felt a bit lonely without them here.
After everyone had greeted each other, but only after the little girls were done playing horsie with Janus and Joel. Did Janus finally approach me?
And again, all eyes were on us as I slowly stood up, and Janu’s eyes widened. It was still hidden while sitting in the excess cloth of my dress, but now that I was standing, my belly was in full view.
“Ruby…, have you gained weight?”
…
……
………!?
For a few seconds, no one said anything. And total silence spread across the crowd of onlookers.
Those were his first words to me… Sigh, I don’t even know what I had been hoping for, but definitely not this. No one, and I mean no one, had said anything about me gaining weight, even when no one knew that I was pregnant; everyone was polite enough not to say stuff like that.
But there you go, the man unknowingly responsible for my bloated stomach had to be that stupid. If not for the crowd of onlookers, I would have hit him right then and there, consequences be dammed.
But I had to stay calm, and so I said, trying my best to save the situation,
“I didn’t think you would be one for such jokes. Janus, I’m obviously pregnant.”
There, I said it. Are you all happy now? Sadly, the crowd remained silent as Janus asked another stupid question.
“What?! Are you sure?”
I can’t. I can’t do this anymore, and why are you all still staring? I wish I could just curl up in my bed and die.
I glare at Janus, ready to kill him if he asks any more stupid questions.
“Of course, I’m sure I’m a HEALING MAGE.”
I put a lot of emphasis on the healing mage, hoping he would get it, and this whole horribly embarrassing situation could finally end.
“Since when?”
The crowd’s mood was palpable. I swear I will make every one of those onlookers pay for putting me on the spot like this. In the distance, I could see Rika, Otto, and Benjamin giggle like they had heard the best joke of their lives. However, instead of murdering all of my so-called friends, I swallow my murderous urges and answer,
“Shortly after you left.”
Instantly, the mood dropped. And the crowd of people began to disperse.
Fucking finally.
And unbeknownst to me, behind Janus, William reluctantly gave a small sack of presumably coins to Jack, who stored them away before anyone could see the exchange.
Janus, meanwhile, was totally stunned, only waking up from his stupor as Joel, my savior, pulled him along, starting an entirely different conversation as he dragged his brother deeper into the fort. While I could finally slip away.