**Janus**
The morning air was fresh and cold as I watched from a gap in the parapet the retreating Ibasan Banners in the distance.
The bold red dragon on their banner almost looked pitiful as it was weighed down so much by the banner’s tassels that the pitiful morning winds couldn’t even lift it.
The once green grass had been trampled to a muddy bog before being frozen over by the first winter frost. The small ice shards were sparkling in the morning sun. It looked like gemstones had been scattered across the ground, only interrupted by rotting corpses and left behind siege equipment that would have to wait until spring came. There was simply too much work.
The siege was won, but it caused significant damage that needs to be repaired before next year. The residents of Roots were in the middle of settling back in. My father was completely bogged down with paperwork. And we would have to come up with a contingency plan against any more tunnels that could crop up in our backyard.
The following months would be pretty busy, but that wasn’t the reason why I was currently taking voluntary guard duty (hiding) instead. The reason was…
“What reason do you have to be so depressed?”
I turned around only to see Joel smile mischievously. What is he doing here?
“I could ask you the same. I just wanted some time alone.”
That wasn’t even a lie. Since yesterday, I have been avoiding everyone, really, the maids, my brothers, and even my mother. Up until now, at least.
“Is it because of Ruby or because of Rodricks execution.”
“Why are you asking if you already know?”
Rodrick and I had been close. He had served my mother even before I was born, and over the years, he had grown, in my mind, into the ideal image of a man, rather than my father. He was just, strong, and honorable, or at least I thought he was.
Now all that seemed empty.
The countless times we spared, and all the advice he had given me over the years, felt like a lie. As for Ruby, we had only known each other for a few months, and somehow it felt even worse.
“I didn’t want to assume.”
He stepped closer until he stood right in front of another gap in the parapet beside me, and both of us turned our gazes towards the retreating banners.
“So, what are you gonna do?”
I gave Joel an incredulous look at his sudden, cryptic question.
“What?”
But Joel didn’t even turn towards me and just continued to watch the retreating banners.
“Are you going to sulk up here or are you going to see her?”
I turned back to and asked sceptically,
“You aren’t trying to get me for the execution?”
I wouldn’t even go if Father came directly. There is an impossibly large number of things I’d rather do than watch a man I believed in being executed for his betrayal.
“Well, that had been what father sent me for, but since when do I follow all his orders. But back to you, what are you going to do?”
So, if he isn’t here to get me, then that only leaves…
“ I-I don’t know.”
“But you have to do something. Knowing you, you really do love the girl, don’t you?”
How did he know?
“Did you eavesdrop on Father and me?”
“Come on, how could I not have noticed. When she is in the room, your eyes always wander to her. You were even whispering her name while you slept in Aldmoor.”
Was I that obvious about it?... and what did he mean by whispering in my sleep? Is he stalking me or what?
“Did you listen to me sleeping?”
But instead of answering, Joel just ignored my accusation,
“Don’t try to steer away from the conversation. This was about you and Ruby and what you are going to do about it.”
“And what should I be doing? Oh, so wise brother who is definitely not creepily listening to me while I sleep.”
And without even addressing the “listening to me while I sleep” issue Joel raised, two fingers and began waving them around close to my face.
“Well, there are really only two choices. Either you marry her and adopt her children, or you don’t.”
“Marry!? Isn’t that a bit fast!”
Did I hear right?
“Didn’t you ask father if you could?”
“So, you were eavesdropping!”
I knew it! He had been acting fishy ever since I had that talk with father; I just couldn’t prove it.
Joel raised his hands over his head and said theatrically,
“Oh no, you got me… Anyway, what’s it going to be? She is about to have two little Rubys in a few months. I don’t think she would be interested in something less serious due to her last partner “dying” right after putting two buns in her oven.”
“Two! She is pregnant with twins!”
I only knew that she was going to have a baby, not that it was twins!
“Mom told me. Ruby let it slip shortly before Rodrick attacked her. But stop freaking out and just tell me what you are going to do.”
“Why do you care what I do with my life?”
Why is he constantly asking me what I’m going to do? Since when does he care?
“I don’t care at all, Father has sent me, but depending on your answer, I might tell you about a little theory I’ve been having.”
“A theory about what?”
“Not until you tell me first.”
Eugh, what have I done in my life to deserve such an annoying little brother? Can’t he just tell me regardless? I could already see Joel’s smile widening as he prepared to laugh his ass off about me. At least he will hopefully leave me alone if I tell him… right? So, I steeled myself and after a few minutes of just watching the last of the Ibasan Banners pass through their Fort’s gate. I told him the conclusion of what I had been thinking about up here.
“I… I will marry her and adopt her children… That’s what you wanted to hear, right!?”
“Hehehe, yes, wonderful. Hehehe.”
Joel leaned against the parapet, holding his belly, which was shaking from laughter. Completely ignoring my death stare.
“Then stop laughing and tell me your stupid theory before I throw you down the wall.”
But instead, Joe continued to laugh for a couple more seconds before finally calming down. I swear, if his “theory” isn’t good, I really will throw him over.
“When we left, I believed her to be a complete shut-in, always cooped up in her ‘clinic’ as she calls it. I would never have believed she would hook up with anyone, considering how many had tried their luck before. She had rejected them all, and somehow one lucky or unlucky bastard had managed to do it and conveniently die shortly afterwards.”
My thoughts exactly, though I would have put it a bit more flatteringly than he did, but what did he mean by “conveniently”?
“What do you want to say?”
“That her story stinks. Think about it, it must have happened right after we left, maybe even a few days before. And yet the only day anyone saw Ruby in that timeframe with another man late at night was two days before we left, when she was drinking with none other than you.”
Me? What is he trying to… no, he can’t mean that.
“Yes, dear brother, my theory is that you are the father.”
“That’s ridiculous. I haven’t done anything with her, I…”
“Oh, really? Are you sure? Wasn’t there anything weird shortly before we left, anything that you remember?”
Weird, what does he know… Wait! The bedsheets!
“…the bedsheets… they were gone…”
“You didn’t notice that your bedsheets were gone?”
“They weren’t gone, they were different! When the maid came that morning, she even mentioned that I must have changed them while I was drunk. She said she would look for them, but with all this stuff happening, I completely forgot about the issue of some bedsheets being missing…”
The realization dawned on me. My father telling me I would have to marry, Ruby consoling me, that weird dream I had that night, and the missing bedsheets, as well as Ruby being so secretive about who the father is…
What have I done? Did I have sex with Ruby, but why didn’t she say anything? Why was she pretending unless I…
Did I rape her?
…
……
No, that can’t be right? …
“I have to talk to her.”
“Wait, right now, what…”
Before Joel could even finish his question, I was already running to the clinic. Taking the shortest route possible. But with every step I slowed down, and after half the way I stopped completely around a corner. What was I supposed to say? How could I apologize for…
That was when I felt a piercing pain in the back of my neck before falling to the ground. My legs wouldn’t move, and even my fingers wouldn’t budge. I tried to stand up somehow to face my attacker, to run away, to scream for help. Still, before I could, my head was jerked backwards while I lay on the ground as my attacker raised it high by pulling on my hair before sliding cold steel through my throat.
“Sorry, kid.”
It was Rodrick, it was his voice, he… that were my last thoughts before the world grew dark around me while I began to suffocate on my own blood.