The final weeks before the wedding went by rather uneventfully. The twins kept growing, my students were making good progress, and all the preparations were going smoothly. Yet I couldt calm down for some reason. Every day, Janus and I grew closer to marriage, but I grew more anxious with each passing day. I don't even know where these feelings of uncertainty came from. It was like a gnawing fear that everything I'm building here would just go up in smoke.
I hoped I was just imagining things and that it was just me getting cold feet about getting married and becoming a mother. But the vivid nightmares I had before my engagement came back with a vengeance. Whenever I closed my eyes, I was in the Fort alone—there was no one else. No matter how much I searched, I came out empty-handed. This doesn't sound too bad, but with every dream, my fear grew. What if everyone I loved simply vanished and I ended up wandering these empty halls forever, with no one left to hear me call their name?
The same was true for this night, except for one thing. This time, the door to my room looked different somehow. And when I opened it, I was back once again in the endless grey labyrinth. I looked around, but couldn't find the “girl” I met last time. I called out, hoping she would hear me. Maybe she could shed some light on why the nightmares were back. That was when I remembered I didnt even know her name. Somehow, during our last meeting, I didn't even bother asking. So now I was stuck awkwardly calling out to see if anyone was here.
Eventually, I found her after what felt like hours. She was inside another memory. If she hadn't left the door open, I most likely wouldn't have found her at all.
I stuck my head inside to see what she was doing. I don't know what I expected, but certainly not that. She stood in a corner of the room with a mad grin on her many mouths, all of her eyes transfixed on two figures closely sitting next to each other on top of a bed. I walked in, preparing myself for her play-focused personality, when I noticed something. The two people on the bed werent just anyone. They were Janus and me.
The memory we were in was the day I woke up from my coma and accepted Janus Proposal. I never felt more embarrassed. It was even worse than when Joel had captured me butt-naked before. Why did she have to be in this memory of all places?
Sigh,
I took a deep breath and walked the remaining steps, doing my best not to listen to what Janus and I were saying. Heat crept up my cheeks, an uneasy mix of embarrassment and anger bubbling just beneath the surface. The whole time I thought she didn't even notice me, but when I was just about to speak up, I froze. Something cold and slick suddenly pressed against my lips, a clammy tentacle, leaving a chill along my skin and making my heart stumble in my chest. I flinched and tried to pull away, but she only gripped me tighter, her damp touch digging in with unexpected strength. As I squirmed, she leaned close and whispered, her countless fingers all pointing to the couple on the bed.
“Shhh! That is the best part!”
I fought to steady my breathing and forced myself to hold back a wave of fear when I suddenly heard what she meant.
“Yes.”
“Huh?”
“The answer is yes, yes, I will marry you.”
There was an instant where everything seemed to hang in the air, the silence stretching as she and I both watched the scene unfold. Her mouths fell open, eyes glimmering wildly, and she clutched her hands to her chest. For a heartbeat, nothing moved. She drew in a sharp, breathless gasp, anticipation written all over her face, her gaze darting between Janus and me on the bed. Then, as if she could no longer contain herself, she exploded:
“AHHHHHHHH! That's so romantic!”
She continued to squeal like someone watching their favorite soap opera, gripping me tight. She bounced from foot to foot so fast that the floorboards rattled beneath us, her laughter ringing off the walls. With a final giggle, she yanked me out of the memory, the door snapping shut behind us. She waited just a moment, then dashed back inside, eager to watch Janus and me embarrass ourselves again. Thankfully, this time she let go of me and declared,
“Now we can talk, it will still be some hours before you wake up.”
I looked over to my old bed, and indeed I was still sound asleep, and so too was Janus, who was sleeping in one of the corners of the room.
“Just what are you doing here? This stuff is private?” My anger flared so suddenly I almost surprised myself. Part of me felt exposed, knowing she was poking around in memories that belonged to Janus and me alone. Was I more angry that she had seen us, or did the idea of her gawking at Janus stir something protective in me? Either way, I couldn't let her treat these moments like entertainment.
“Hä? What do you mean by privat? You didn't say anything last time when I was playing with your old self.”
She tried to pretend that it was the same, but I could see a bit of doubt in her many eyes that all struggled to meet my gaze and instead darted around all over the room before coming to rest on… Janus? I angrily stepped forward, putting myself between Jnaus and her, and demanded,
“Stop pretending it's nothing! And quit oogling him!”
“Come on, there are far more embarrassing memories of you two?”
I shiver ran down my spine after understanding the implication. She also realized what she had just admitted, and I could see panic rise inside her.
“Wait, no, that isn't what I meant. I definitely have not seen you two…!”
But I didnt want to listen to her lies. And just like that, we were both thrown out of the memory with such force that she fell face-first, and even I stumbled a bit.
“What was that?”
“Ehm, nothing I wanted to leave anyway.”
But I could already tell what had happened. I threw us out of my memory… mhhhh?
Does that mean I can also do something else? It seems she had guessed my thoughts as tears started to well up in her eyes and she began pleading while prostrating herself in front of me.
“Please don't take them away, I beg of you, please!”
But I had no mercy, and shortly after, the thought had formed in my head. Locks started to appear on some of my memories, similar, but not nearly as excessive as that one door buried in my memories, but still strong enough to keep her out.
“NO! HOW COULD YOU!”
“Serves you right, you peeping tom!”
It appears I have more control over my own memories than I had previously thought.
She kept crying on the floor so much that a small puddle started to form from all of her tears covering her body.
“Calm down, it was just the memories were Janus, and I got intimate.”
“Huh? Really?”
“Yes, I'm not a monster. I know that watching my memories is one of the very few things you can do in here.”
Her tears slowed, a flicker of hope settling in her eyes. I believed she had calmed down when she hugged my legs and lower body, singing songs of praise to me.
“Thank you! Thank you so much! You truly are the most benevolent and just person I have ever met! How can I ever even hope repay you!?”
Her constant praise was accompanied by her tentacles caressing my legs, sending shivers down my spine as I struggled to free myself from her cold, tight grip.
“Uwah! Okay. OKAY! Just let go already!”
She finally let go.
I slowly steadied my breathing and finally asked the questions I had wanted to ask her in the first place.
“Sigh. Can you tell me:
Your name?
What are you?
And where do these nightmares keep coming from?”
“Oh, that is easy, my name… mhhhhh?”
“What?”
“What will you give me in return for my answer?”
Is she serious? Is that the same person who begged me and said that she could never even hope to repay me? How shameless could she be?
“Your reward is that I don't shut you out of even more memories. How does that sound?”
“Uhh, anything but that, I will be nice, I promise, but…”
“No buts!”
And back she was to crying again. The puddle of tears grew and grew until even my feet started to become wet.
“Fine! One memory. I will give you back one memory of your choice in exchange for what you know.”
And just as abruptly as she started, she stopped crying altogether.
“Deal, so what is it you want to know?”
Had she already forgotten? I felt like I would forever regret this, but I didn't want to sink to her level and go back on my word.
“Sigh, I want to know your name, what you are, and where all the nightmares I had lately keep coming from.”
“Well, as for where your nightmare comes from, that is quite easy; they are memories from me.”
“From you? Yes, they are mine.”
“Could you stop them?”
“No, no one can stop them, not even you, but you shouldn't worry, they are from a future that has already been avoided.”
“What do you mean by 'future' ?”
“Have you forgotten God's realm lies outside of time? That's where I met you and decided to help you out and hitch a ride.”
“Wait, you are from the gods' realm?”
A chilling suspicion clawed at my chest, icy and relentless, and suddenly everything snapped into place.
“You helped me reach my desire?”
“Jup, aren't I great? Please praise me more.”
“Than you are corruption!”
She gave me a knowing smile, and I took several steps backwards.
“Don't worry, I won't do anything to you. After all, I can't get out even if I did. So keeping you alive is the only way I won't die from boredom since I'm forever trapped in her.”
“A-and y-your name is?”
Upon hearing my last question, her mouths widened into a knowing, toothy smile more than I have ever seen before.
“My name is Ruby.”