I woke with my head spinning, breath caught somewhere between a gasp and a sob, pain twisting through my belly, sharp and sudden. The room was swallowed in darkness, thick and silent, and for a moment I just lay there, listening to the hush, searching for any sign that I wasn’t alone. But it was only Janus beside me, his breathing slow and steady, untouched by the storm that had just torn through me.
For a while, I just lay there, hands pressed to my chest, feeling my heart hammering wildly and desperately, thoughts tumbling over each other in the dark. I tried to steady myself, but the fear from the sudden pain refused to let go.
Was it just my imagination, or had Rubicante done something to me? Before I could decide, the pain returned, sharper, slicing through any hope that it was just a dream.
The pain wrenched a groan from me as I fought to suppress a scream. A few ragged breaths later, the pain subsided, and in the hush of relief, I finally understood.
I reached out with my senses, scanning every inch of myself, and there it was, the ache blooming from deep within my womb. I knew then: they were coming.
Despite it all, a thin but unmistakable smile crept onto my face. I expected panic when this day arrived, but I was surprised by my calmness, excited, but still composed.
I dulled the pain in my belly with a flicker of mana, bracing myself for whatever came next. And full of excitement, I reach over and gently shake Janus awake.
He stirred, mumbling something half-formed, still tangled in dreams.
“Mmmmmmmmh W-Whatisit?”
“Janus, they are coming!”
The urgency in my voice snapped Janus awake, his eyes wide and wild, as if he expected to leap straight into battle.
“They are coming!? Who is it? Are we under attack? Are you…”
“No, no, we arent under attack.”
I nearly burst out laughing as I grasped his hand and placed it gently on my pregnant belly before saying,
“They are coming, the twins are coming.”
“The twins are coming?... The twins are coming!? YOU ARE GIVING BIRTH!?”
And just like that, my dream of a calm and peaceful birth was ruined. His voice echoed so loudly I was sure the whole Fort heard.
“Shhh! Yes, I’m giving birth, but you don’t have to shout it to the stars. Just calm...”
Instead of calming down, he bolted from the bed, nearly tripping over himself in his rush, not even bothering to light a candle. In a blink, I was alone again, the darkness pressing in around me.
For a moment, I just sat there, wondering where he’d vanished to, until his voice drifted in from outside, muffled by the window but unmistakably frantic.
“BENJAMIN!?”
I let out a long, weary sigh.
He really was going to wake the whole damn Fort. I didn’t need Benjamin or Seymour. I was a healer, maybe the best in the country. If I wanted, I could probably deliver the twins myself, right here, right now.
In the end, I didn’t do it, of course. I didn’t go through with the act because I wanted to spare Janus the possible sight of a C-section. But soon I wondered if that was perhaps the wrong choice.
Within minutes, my big bedroom was overflowing with faces, each one painted with its own blend of excitement and worry. Janus, Benjamin, Seymour, Emma, Adelheid… all the ones I expected, but also Jack and William, and poor Averall, who looked utterly lost and confused in his nightgown. Joel hovered nearby, trying to keep Janus from unraveling completely, while Emilia and Julia did their best to herd their wide-eyed girls, Maggie and Fiona, back toward sleep. Even Wilhem, my father-in-law, stood by the door, stoic as ever, though his eyes betrayed a depth of fear and anxiety I’d never seen in him before. And then, as if the universe wanted to really surprise me;
MAYA WITHOUT A BOOK!?
She lingered in the doorway, hair mussed, looking almost vulnerable, until she slipped a thin booklet from her sleeve no bigger than her index finger, and the world felt right again. For a heartbeat, I wondered if something even bigger than my children’s birth was about to happen.
In the distance, I heard more people approaching. It felt like everyone was waiting for the goose to lay a golden egg—and I was the goose. Still in bed, hair messy, body marked from last night, the confirming scent lingered in the air.
“Everyone but Benjamin and Seymore leave!”
Most people shuffled out at my command, but Janus lingered, unable to let go just yet.
“But what about…”
“You can come in once I’m done.”
"Are you going to be okay, Ruby?" Fiona stood next to my bed, teary-eyed, with her aunt Maggie. Together, they really looked like twins.
I gave Janus an accusing look that said, "Look what you have done."
“I’m going to be fine. Janus just had a nightmare and woke us all up. You can go back to sleep.”
I made sure to put extra weight on 'woke us all up,' just so he’d know exactly why I was angry. The kids, thankfully, missed it, but the adults didn’t.
“Really?” “You are really okay?”
“Yes, you can both go to bed, and tomorrow there will be a surprise, but only if you go to bed.”
Janus gave me a wounded look, but I held firm. He shuffled out with the others, glancing back at me again and again, as if hoping I’d change my mind. He shot one last glare at Benjamin and Seymour, who both looked like they’d rather be anywhere else.
With the room finally quiet, I let out a shaky breath. Somehow, it felt like the hardest part was already over.
Benjamin looked at me, not sure what to do, and asked,
“Do you even need us?”
Back on Earth, a doctor might have said that as a joke, but not here, not for me.
“Honestly, no, I could really do this all on my own. But it never hurts to have credible witnesses for a noble birth, and Benjamin, your experience with births and assisting them with mana is still too limited.”
And so began what might just be the most embarrassing lesson of my life.