Only a month remained before we would leave for the capital, and the thought of it pressed quietly at the back of my mind. Since our wedding, something inside me had shifted in a way I never expected. For years, sleep had been a stranger to me. Even after dying and waking in this new world, I spent countless nights tangled in sheets, staring at the ceiling, haunted by thoughts that refused to let me rest. But now, all it took was Janus beside me. Just the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, and suddenly sleep would find me, gentle and easy, as if it had always belonged to me.
The pregnancy was moving along almost too smoothly, if such a thing is possible. The twins were supposed to arrive around the time we reached the capital, but lately, with how quickly they were growing, it felt like they might arrive any day now. My belly had stretched so much these past weeks that I sometimes caught myself staring at it in disbelief, half-expecting to go into labor at any moment.
They had become so much more lively lately. Every sound, every voice, even the faint sunlight filtering through my stretched-out skin seemed to set them off. Just when I thought I could finally relax, they would start their own little brawl, tumbling and kicking as if they were determined to escape by sheer force. My poor bladder was their favorite target, it seemed, and I found myself making far too many desperate dashes for the nearest chamber pot. I had learned to keep one close, just in case.
For now, the twins had finally settled, giving me a rare moment of peace as I sat at my desk in the makeshift classroom-clinic, scribbling out lesson plans for my students. I jotted down ideas for their next training steps, little tricks for mana circulation, ways to help them shape their constructs more steadily, and even a few scraps of magical history I’d pieced together from the library and my own memories from God’s realm. Maybe I should just write a textbook and save myself the trouble.
Sigh. Somehow, I always manage to pile more work onto myself. I was still lost in thought when a lazy knock sounded at the clinic door.
“Give me just a second, I will be with you shortly.”
Whoever it was didn’t bother waiting. Long and tired steps sounded over the old wood floor. The scent of tea and peppermint drifted in first, wrapping around me like a memory. My shoulders loosened as two warm hands slipped around my waist, drawing me back into a gentle embrace. Janus’s arms found their way through the chair’s armrests, settling over my swollen belly, his face pressed into the hollow of my shoulder, lips brushing the sensitive skin there. He breathed me in, slow and deep, his exhale a hot rhythm against my neck, making the tiny hairs along my nape rise. Every movement of his was unhurried, intimate, as if savoring every second.
“Didn’t you have enough last night?”
We have had sex every night since our first real time. It was a rhetorical question. He answered with a muffled,
“never.”
“Unbelievable, we do it every night, and yet it’s still not enough?”
“Mh!”
My own sexual desire hadn’t really changed since my days as a man. Or so I liked to tell myself. But every time Janus touched me, no, even just the thought of him, the memory of his hands, his mouth, his body pressed to mine, something inside me went molten and wild. I tried to suppress it, to focus on anything else, but it clung to me, hot and insistent, making my skin prickle and my mind wander. Still, with how often we found ourselves tangled up together, I half expected I’d be pregnant again not long after the twins were born.
“Well, not right now, I’m busy.”
Of course, he ignored me completely and only held on tighter. His hands skimmed up and down my sides, thumbs tracing lazy circles, cupping one of my swollen breasts. He nuzzled into my hair and pressed a slow kiss just behind my ear. His neediness was contagious, stirring something in me I tried desperately to ignore, as if denying it would make it fade. But even as I pretended to focus on my lesson plans, every brush of his hands, every breath against my neck, sent heat pulsing through me. I could always finish it tomorrow.
“Fine, but only after I’m done and not here.”
I could always use magic to keep myself from getting pregnant again until I was actually ready, but the thought lingered. I wasn’t sure I could handle a whole brood, even if the idea of Janus and me surrounded by a dozen little ones was oddly sweet. But could I really give each of them the love and attention they deserved? Not unless I handed them off to a maid and became a mother in name only. No, I couldn’t do that. Three children felt manageable, like my own mother had, though she always told me that she regretted not going for four. Still, the way Janus looked at me, I felt like he dreamed of a house full of laughter and tiny feet running about.
Well, no point worrying about eggs that haven’t even hatched yet. I will have that talk with him once they are born.
But when I reached that conclusion, Janus was still there, hugging me tightly, desperate as a man dying of thirst. It was cute and reassuring, the way he lusted after me. Sometimes, though, like right now, it was a bit overwhelming. I had better distract him before we... I mean, before he contaminates the clinic.
“H-have you thought about their names yet?”
Again, just a muffled.
“Huh?”
So I explain what I want further.
“The names for the babies, the twins?”
Janus finally lifted his head, his face shadowed with exhaustion, but he kept his chin pressed stubbornly against my shoulder, his stubble scratching my skin. He looked uncertain, like he was worried he’d said the wrong thing, and answered slowly.
“...No, should I have?”
A little pang of disappointment tugged at me, but I reminded myself there were two parents in this, and maybe in Armentis, it was just tradition for the mother to choose the names.
“It’s not really about should or shouldn’t, it’s just that I would feel better if you pick them,” I explained.
“Are?... Are you still feeling guilty?”
His words sent a shiver through me. He had seen right through me, as always.
“...Yes…”
“SIGH! Fine, but that’s it, then no more feeling guilty, I forbid it.”
“Okay.”
“No, I don’t believe you. Say it like you mean it.”
I shot Janus an exasperated look, but I did as he asked, raising my voice and tilting my head back so I could meet his gaze, refusing to look away.
“OKAY!”
Janus seemed unimpressed, raised an eyebrow, and simply asked, “And?”
Annoyance prickled at me, but I took a breath and made the promise anyway.
“I won’t feel guilty anymore. Good enough?”
“Hehehe A-l-m-o-s-t.”
He drew out the word, drawing closer until his lips finally found mine, soft, insistent, lingering just a heartbeat longer than necessary. The kiss stole the air from my lungs, leaving my legs shaky and useless. His hand cupped my jaw, thumb tracing the edge of my cheek as if memorizing it. I tangled my fingers in his short hair and pulled him in, needing him closer still, feeling his body pressed against mine.
Sigh. He really is so unfair... sometimes.