DC - Chapter 26

   Once into work, Panic did his usual thing. Went in, and found his way up to his area. Small talk with everyone. Nothing major had happened yet. George was still looking and was doing very well, he was told.

   Speedy was eyeing him up. Panic winked at him on the sly. Speedy asked him how his sleeping was going.

   "Speedy? Don't I look better? Sound better?"

   "Yeah. You do."

   "Right. I'm getting 8, 10 hours a night. Sleeping like a baby…"

   "You know, it's funny. Normally, sleeping with someone? Entails getting less sleep. You start sleeping with someone? You actually start getting some sleep finally. Hey, keep it up. You ain't missing much, but meetings and paperwork you can't help with anyways."

   "I don't have a problem with that."

   "I didn't think you would."

   "You told me to get more sleep, and to relax and have some fun. I'm following orders."

   "That's wonderful. I notice… you are doing it, in my shirt. Why are you wearing… my shirt?"

   "Oh, this old thing? Technically, isn't it my shirt?"

   "It was your shirt… then it became my shirt. Remember?"

   "Well then. I'm borrowing your shirt."

   "May I ask why?"

   "Because… I wanna look good for my lunch date?"

   "No come stains on my shirt…"

   "Actually, I'm meeting two agents for lunch. So, I wanna look my best. Hence, I borrowed the shirt. I can't believe you have a problem with this."

   Senior agent joked…

   "You two girls wanna go out in the hall and scratch each other's eyes out, over who wears the sweater today? Be my guest."

   "Panic? Could we have a word…?"

   "Sure thing. See you in a minute guys…"

   They both walked out into the hall, and down a bit. Paused at a soda machine.

   "Panic? Something's up. Why don't we know about you meeting those two agents for lunch?"

   "Because they asked me not to tell anyone about it. That's why."

   "That's… weird."

   "Oh. Not half as weird as the following information. For your virgin ears only. Pinky swear it stays between us."

   "Oh. I gotta hear this. I promise."

   "They kinda insisted on lunch. They're IA."

   "What? My IA? I got a buddy in my IA… I'd get a heads up on that shit…"

   "Not your IA, you clown. IA here."

   Now it was Speedy's turn to look around, and make sure they weren't overheard. Like Panic had done, before starting the conversation, and Speedy had wondered why the dramatics.

   "Well, what's it about?"

   "After lunch, I can tell you."

   "Shit."

   "What?"

   "What in the flying fuck could you know, about anything going on here, that IA would want you?"

   "Gee. I couldn't get that far on my own… I was hoping you'd have some information for me."

   "Gotta be someone you know here. You only know a couple agents, really. What the fuck you know about anything that could possibly matter?"

   "I don't know. Gonna find out at lunch."

   "Panic? It's… not as simple as that."

   "Why not? I meet them for lunch. They insisted. I listen to them. I tell them to fuck off, I ain't buying what they're selling. End of story."

   "Because?"

   "Because nothing. IA is all about in house squabbles. I ain't a family member, I'm just visiting. I don't want involved."

   "Okay, but… you are a member of that team. That team in there. You owe it to your team mates, to go in there, and mention that IA is snooping around."

   "Why? I was told to keep it secret."

   "Yeah. And? I'm telling you… that's not how the game is played. IA can be a bunch of shoo flies. They can't realistically be after anything except one of your buddies back in that room. You owe it to those guys, to man the fuck up, march in there, and tell them IA is snooping around. Period. That's… the best thing you can do."

   "What if I don't?"

   "You don't? Then… no one in that room will work with us. We'll get the treatment. Plus? This ain't your fight. Whatever IA is doing? It ain't got jack shit to do with our case, right? Right?"

   "Right…"

   "So. All IA can accomplish? For our goal? Is… fuck our case up. We did not come this far, to screw the pooch now. Man up, march right in there, and announce what the fuck is going on. Quietly. And? Don't do it in there. Polite thing is to ask everyone out here, where we have guaranteed privacy. This? Will make you friends. They find out you talked to IA and didn't say anything? We're shit on toast."

   "You… have a friend in IA…"

   "Yeah. Back at my house… down here? This, is none of our business. Whatever one of those guys is into in there? It ain't about our case. Please don't cut a morality fit on me now."

   "Okay. This is your area of expertise. Wait here."

   "Good call, Panic. None of our business."

   Panic went in, and asked Senior agent and JG if they would mind joining Speedy and himself in the hall for a little chat, as it concerned them. Those two? Looked at each other and shrugged. George was around at the moment, Panic told George it was fine, it didn't concern him, would he please stay there.

   Panic was nervous and didn't know how to start the conversation, and Speedy helped him.

   "Guys? Panic didn't know what to do. He asked me, thank god. I told him he had to tell you guys. Remember, he's a civilian, he don't understand this bullshit. Play nice."

   JG and the senior agent looked at each other, then at Speedy, then at Panic. Waited.

   Panic launched into a quick description. IA had cold called him. He didn't even know they had his cell number, but they did. Wanted a secret lunch meeting. Before they asked? He had no fucking idea.

   "Junior, you into anything?"

   "Not that I'm aware of. You into anything, Senior?"

   "Not that I'm aware of."

   "Well… you're not diddling anyone's wife in IA, are you? Cause that would be a stupid move, even for you…"

   "Junior? Do you have to air all our dirty laundry? And no, for the record, I'm not banging anyone's wife down in IA."

   "Not in IA, then…"

   "Junior! Zip it!"

   Panic giggled…

   "Guys? I don't give three hairy shits who you're fucking. Does IA care about that sort of shit? I don't know anything anyways. The fuck, I can count on one, two hands, everyone here I know by name so far, that's including the security guard that talks to me. Speedy said it would almost have to be, someone in this room."

   Senior spoke up.

   "Panic? We ran George's background six different ways from Sunday. He's what he says he is… a clean nosed family man, on the run. Period. He ain't into shit. His local cops love him. Panic… you ever think, that you're the last man in the room?"

   "Right. Like I'm into anything. Hell, I don't even know you guys for that long, I wouldn't know anything on anybody, if they were. I don't see what IA would want with me."

   "Well Panic… what you been into lately?"

   "I've been into and back out of, a single, key word there… single steak house waitress. I fail to see, how the personal life of a civilian, is of any concern to your IA, boys…"

   "Panic. You ever stop and think, that's exactly what it might be about?"

   "Why?"

   "I gotta draw you a fucking picture? Fine, I'll draw it in crayon so you can understand it… you're fucking that crazy bitch down at the steakhouse. She has a history. You're the one, fucking Bloody Mary."

   "Senior? You listen to my words closely. I'm going to give you a free pass on that one. You say anything even remotely similar to that again to me? We will begin to have words over it. I guarantee it. Words best had in private, outside, after work. Try me. This has nothing to do with work. You motherfuckers all run around banging all the cop groupies in town. Banging each other's wives. I bet there's escorts going around too. All I'm saying is, that's my girl right now, and I will not put up with that shit. From anyone. That's just… basic guy rules 101. Something you were just about to say to me?"

   JG eyed Senior up.

   "All right, Panic. That was a little out of line. I apologize. But, you gotta realize… that girl assaulted a senior agent's wife, split her head open with a dish and sent her to the emergency room, because she wanted to talk with her. She's nuts, plain and simple. That's not all…"

   "What else. Even I know about the cat-fight at the steak house, because some married agent had his pole in way too many holes. Whoopee shit. If IA ain't up everyone's ass already about all the cheating going on in this building, I hardly think they're concerned about ancient history now."

   "Well. Do you know she's in cahoots with an outlaw motorcycle gang?"

   "You didn't say any of this shit the other day…"

   "I didn't realize, that's who she was. Someone else clued me in."

   "Oh for Christ's sake… I know she once dated a biker. Whoop dee fucking doo. First waitress ever went out with some bad boy. Oh good lord, we should call the CIA. NSA maybe. Homeland security. Girl once dated biker. Headlines in this town, I'm sure."

   "Okay, Panic. You're not a cop, I can dig that. You wanna get your willy wet and have fun? Hey. It's your business. She… is… trouble. Her biker boyfriend was a violent felon. Drug dealer too. She? Isn't called Bloody Mary for nothing, she put the wife of a senior agent in the fucking emergency room, and two other wives with her. There, you've been warned. But, I'm sure she changed her ways, and is a sweet church going girl now, I'm just sure of it."

   "Now. There, you see? You just said pretty much the same thing, but, you said it politely. Now? I'm fine with that. Now, we're all good again."

   JG piped up.

   "You guys know, IA gets bored, they start just trying to investigate nothing, trying to whip something up. Senior? You warned him, no harm no foul. Panic? Go to lunch. See what IA wants… then tell IA to go fuck themselves. Then, you can come back and we all go back to work."

   Senior calculated with his hand scratching his chin.

   "JG's right. Panic, you did the right thing. Speedy? Thanks for giving him pointers on the finer points of cop office politics and the shoo flies. And Panic?"

   "Now what…"

   "I apologize for calling yer waitress fling, a crazy bitch. I was outta line. Sorry about that. Her history stands, though. She's… considered trouble."

   "I will take that under advisement, and likely ignore it. Sorry for getting in your face about it, but, guy rules."

   "Speedy?"

   "Christ. Panic's at the point, he can't sleep at all, he's all but killing himself slowly. Look at him… I about died when she said he's sleeping 8 hours a night. I was actually getting worried about him. Panic? If you're not into anything but her pussy and her pillow, just keep your nose clean."

   "And, tell IA to go fuck themselves…"

   "Oh, yeah. Just do it after they agree to pick up the bill. Fuck those guys. This ain't our house. We don't want into any family squabbles. And, if it's anyone here? You're supposed to come back and give your team mates a heads up. That's the only polite thing to do. We good? Go get a free lunch. Order the most expensive thing on the menu, kid."

   "All right. Thanks guys…"

   Panic took out his cell. Found the number from that morning, and called it back. Made a lunch date. That he picked. Then? He called Merry, and asked for a table to be reserved.