the Dirty Dozen - Chapter 54
"To whom it may concern. My name is Merry. I was a waitress. In DC. Steakhouse near the Hoover building. Like any young girl in town, agents like to date the local girls. I went through three of those lying, cheating, assholes. Every damned one of them wound up being married. With kids. Cheating on them with me. Not a one of them? Would own up to being married with kids. Number three, was the worst lying cheating asshole I ever met in my life. After he was done playing, his wife found out. The FBI wives are as bad as the agents and all the dirty DC city cops too. They started coming to my work. Doing vodka shots in their SUV parked out front. Liquid courage. Then coming in, and pushing me around and calling me horrible things. Said I was going to leave town 'or else'. Me and the waitresses tried calling the local cops, and they just laughed at us every time. The last time the FBI wives came, and got drunk out front, and came in? They did more than push me around like normal, they all started a big drunken brawl. Three on one. Bragging their husbands were agents, we can't do anything to them. I hate girly girls, and I especially hate girly girls that think they're tough, when they aren't. Video exists of me bashing salad bowls over their girly heads, and stomping the shit out of them. My waitresses came and got into it, and we had a brawl. We called the local cops again, and they edited the video and wouldn't arrest anyone. They tried to arrest ME, and charge me with attempted murder, simple assault, assault, aggravated assault, and reckless endangerment. The video saved me, and they had to let me go. I never knew those agents were married until after the fact. One of my waitress friends, dated a biker. He was friends with a biker named Pound. Pound was impressed with my fight video, and we started dating. Compared to the FBI agents, who were all lying cheating assholes. Pound was a really nice guy. I don't care what else he did for work, when he was with me, he was quiet and polite. A real gentleman. He opened doors for me, he took my coat on and off for me, and he was a nice guy. Agent asshole #3, and the city cops. Got together and planted drugs on him and his bike. Pound had to leave town with warrants on him. He's still in hiding. Pound was a national enforcer, and he wasn't allowed to deal drugs. It had to be a complete setup. The DC cops steal drugs, buy and sell drugs, and commit more assaults and witness intimidation than any of the regular criminals ever did. DC cops extort protection money from every dealer and every prostitute in town. Even the bikers don't do that sort of shit. Who are the real criminals, I ask you. Now, they try to commit murder too. I got lucky the first time. They won't screw it up the second time. I know my number is up. There's at least sixteen of them, casing the town. Getting ready to come get me. This is it. This has to end. One way or the other. Even if I live through tonight, I'm still a dead woman. Either the guards will suicide me. Or they will just get some inmates to get me. Or, the cops will get me going in or out of the courthouse. I'm not stupid. I know how this game is played. The DC cops are worse than any of the criminals I ever met in DC. The bikers I met? Sure none of them are boy scouts, but still. None of them are involved in this. All the bikers are guilty of? Is trying to protect me from the dirty cops. Who are going to try to kill me. Again. Tell the boys I said it's time to stomp the pigs. All I want is for them to have a pig roast in my honor. They will get the joke. Also, if the cops that read this are dirty assholes going to cover this up? Fuck you too. I emailed this to several people. This is getting released on the internet after my death. You can all kiss my ass. Pictures and videos too. This will all start soon. 16 on 1. Not good odds. Hope I can at least get 10 of them."
"There's a PS here… I think she added it…"
"PS - I can't believe it. I made it. One got away, but he won't get far. The radiator hoses are cut. Please pick that one up on the side of the road. He can't be far. You already have all the license plates. Whatever license plate is missing from the bar? Is what he's driving. Oh yeah. I ended up leaving two of these bastards alive. I ran out of ammo. Even though I had a lot of it. I bashed one over the head. The last one. I got up behind him and choked his ass out until he pissed his pants. I hope they go without food and water for a couple days and suffer. Still can't believe I'm alive. I'm going to lock myself in the bar and wait for the real cops to get here. I can't trust anything in a uniform or has a badge. Motherfuckers will hold up a badge in one hand, and shoot you with the other. Like they did to my boyfriend in DC. I already know those three assholes will make bail, cops always make bail. They will kill me coming into or out of the courthouse. They know they're facing life and have nothing left to lose. I hope I live long enough to testify. I have permission from the bikers to testify. Now? I just gotta pray the FBI doesn't WACO my ass. They probably will. I know I made a big mess on the hill up behind the bar. Did you know that pigs shit themselves when they die? I was surprised some of them screamed like little bitches too. I counted 13 dead pigs. I left the cards as a warning to the others. 13 to nothing assholes. Your move. Do or die."
"Well, that's the manifesto. What do you boys think? I was kinda waiting for her to admit it. Apparently, this was it."
"Holy shit. You really think she's going to release it on the internet? The press is going to have a field day with this. This? Is going to be a nightmare."
Panic only wanted to know…
"What law did she break?"
The chief and the homicide investigator looked at one another. Homicide closed his eyes as he answered.
"Honestly? Littering. The brass flying around. I can't even charge her if her gun is illegal. During self defense? You're allowed to do anything to survive. If even half of this is accurate? This is clear cut self defense."
The chief sighed.
"The goddamned press? Is going to have a field day for goddamned sure. The internet? They're going to go insane, too."
Homicide scratched his chin…
"We gotta get her out of there alive. First of all, it's our job. Second of all? If she does die… people are going to go crazy. She'll be a martyr. Some crazy asshole will shoot a random DC cop. I can just see it coming. This? This is bad. But? It can still get worse."
Panic added…
"Well? You're still in charge. Why don't you call her, and tell her she's not being charged with anything. Explain to her it's self defense."
"I would try. She's not going to believe me. She won't trust any cop right now. And? I honestly don't blame her. Any chance you could go in? Explain it to her? Maybe… get between her and the gun if she puts it down? You could tackle her…"
"Whoa. No. Ain't no way, I'm going to betray her like that. I ain't wearing a wire. I ain't fighting my own girl for you. That's final. Why don't you go in, and try to get between her and the gun? Hmm?"
"Ah…"
"Yeah. That's what I thought. I guess the real cops? Are the FBI. She's not stupid, she figures the FBI have to get in on this one. Those city cops, crossed state lines, to commit attempted murder. There's going to be a PR nightmare, if it hasn't started already. That stampede you hear? That's the press coming… like a herd of stampeding buffalo. And? Maybe that's what she's really waiting for… the press. Maybe it'll be harder to WACO her ass, on camera."
"Didn't save anyone at WACO, did it?"
"Funny. This is different. She didn't commit any crimes. She's a violent crime victim… twice now…"
Panic pointed an index finger out the window…
"I guess that's the FBI… hope he's not an asshole…"
The chief couldn't resist making a joke…
"Well. Let's just pray the FBI, in their infinite wisdom on such things… saw fit to not send one of her ex boyfriends, you know? She'll probably kick the door open, and open up on him and his car and anyone with him…"
"Christ. The FBI has a wonderful track record at this shit. First Ruby Ridge. Some FBI sniper, a Chinese guy, of all things… popped a pregnant woman, unarmed. Everyone knows how that mess turned out, a class A cluster-fuck. Sniper blames his superiors, superiors blamed the sniper, round and round it goes."
"Wasn't too long later? Goddamn Waco Texas happened. Once again? No one is 100 percent sure who opened fire. Once it started? It went to shit. Couple dozen innocent women and children? Huddled in the basement, got burned alive. From outside tear gas canisters, used inside the house through the windows. Set the house on fire. Attorney General bitch was there, getting face time on the news, enjoying showing off, trying to save face from the Ruby Ridge fiasco. Another cluster-fuck."
"The last one I know about? Down south. Anyone remember the locals grazing their cattle on public land? They had an armed standoff with the FBI. Everyone learned their lesson, though. No fireworks. Too much bad press. Everyone stood down, and the thing ended quietly. Later on down the road though? The FBI went around quietly, and arrested every single one of the guys in the standoff, and quietly prosecuted the ever loving shit out of them. With no TV cameras."
"I don't like the FBI's track record at this. Step one? Take charge and have fun addressing the TV cameras. All the big-wigs come and get face time on camera too. Then? Step two? You start shooting unarmed people, right on camera. The new style, is to stand down on camera, then, later on? Fuck everybody you let go, one at a time. They practically lynch the poor people, when everyone isn't watching."
"Now? Here they come…"
Panic made a funny voice, from the back seat…
"Hi. We're from the federal government. We're here to help."
"Chief? Panic? Let's go see how bad of a pissing match this turns out to be…"
