Range - Chapter 31

   Panic was vaguely aware of birds chattering somewhere nearby, before he became fully awake. His stiff shoulder ruined his morning roll and stretch he was used to. He looked around. Merry was just coming back in the door of the little outbuilding they had commandeered in the night.

   "Oh. Someone's up."

   "Is that… breakfast?"

   "Eggs. Sausage. Tons of eggs, tons of sausage. The boys gave me a pot of coffee."

   "Where's Bitty Kitty?"

   "Wandering around. He went in and out a couple times this morning. He seems okay with it. Is that okay?"

   "Sure. Make sure he's in with us at night. Just in case. Breakfast is still hot?"

   "At least very warm or better. I drove around to see what was going on, and your boyfriends were having a big breakfast. When I said you were sleeping in, they gave me this stuff to bring here. And the sausage's name? Is Ziggy."

   "What?"

   "The guys were joking about knowing the name of the pig that made the sausage. We're eating Ziggy, apparently. That explains the huge pile of sausage, I guess."

   "I suppose it does. I was thinking doughnut shop breakfast, whenever I got up and around. Or even pizza if I slept in."

   "We have plenty of time for that. Isn't this better?"

   Merry helped him into a sitting position and got a pillow behind his back against the wall, so he could more easily sit up and take the big plate of eggs and sausage. She manned their Styrofoam coffee cups as they took turns eating the eggs and sausage, and sharing with Bitty Kitty, who mysteriously wandered in for the hot smell of cooked Ziggy.

   "You already know that the boys were asking about you."

   "What did you tell them?"

   "Nothing really. I just said you hurt your shoulder a little bit, and you would want to relax. Told them you probably wouldn't be building anything anytime soon with them."

   "So, what do you wanna do today?"

   "It's your shooting range, or George's, or whoever. You tell me…"

   "I just wanna sit for a while. We might as well sit with the boys for a bit, or not. Then… let's try out our debit card. Doughnut shop. We're supposed to be doing nothing, anyways. We'll grab a gallon of milk for the coffee."

   "And where are we going to put milk?"

   "I'm going to commandeer my little dorm refrigerator I have out here. I figured we can hit the second hand store in town. I want a couple old pots and pans I can burn over a fire and not care about."

   "Can I make a confession?"

   "What…?"

   "I know you… associate seeing me, with gourmet steaks and prime rib. Side dishes galore. Lasagna…"

   "Well. You're a waitress. Yes, I associate you with food in some way. Where's the confession in this?"

   Merry smiled thin.

   "I'm not exactly the world's greatest cook. I just bring you food you like. Steak, lasagna, fryer food. I didn't make that lasagna you raved about, I just brought you a piece or two."

   Panic furrowed his brow and chuckled.

   "Why are you worried about this?"

   "Well, science girl articles. Why else?"

   "Let me hear this… come on… what article are you… violating?"

   "Historically? Women used to cook and feed men. All the time. It's no secret, that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?"

   "There's… other routes. But, the stomach works pretty good too…"

   "Well I cheat. I'm a waitress. We're not supposed to cook in the motel rooms. I microwave leftovers from work for you."

   "Are you actually worried that I won't like you anymore, once the food train stops with you? Come on… seriously…"

   "Yes. No. Maybe. A little bit. I don't know…"

   "Oh good god, let's get this out of the way right now then. What is science girl so worried about?"

   "Okay. All of the… 'other' articles? Each one seems valid. What to do, how to do it. What it does for you. In the end, hormones. Chemicals."

   "Okay…"

   "Well… I'm… not going to want… coffee for a little while, I'm pretty sure. I'm a nervous wreck, to tell you the truth. That's lost hormones. On top of that? I'm not a waitress up here, bringing you food every time you eat. That's more lost chemicals."

   Panic shook his head, and put his good arm around her shoulders.

   "Look. You don't need to worry about this. I swear to god, I'm not going to lose interest in you all of a sudden, just because I don't get laid for a while. Or, because you don't have access to free food right now. Okay?"

   "How do we know? Modern humans have a horrible track record with male female relationships, and it gets worse every five years. My article? I'm trying to demonstrate that we're losing chemical cues that bind a couple together."

   "Okay, I guess I see where you're coming from. But, I want you to remember something, all right?"

   "What…"

   "I get some great chemical out of you, just from being around you. I enjoy yer sex chemicals, but… I really enjoy those sleep chemicals too. Remember, I slept with you, before I had sex with you. Why isn't the act of sleeping together, some chemical source. What animal on the planet, doesn't smell home base, and feel happy to get into their nest."

   Merry chuckled.

   "But… this isn't our nest. We haven't had time to build up our scent markers here…"

   "Well, what about mammals that sleep on the ground together, all year round? On the move. Dogs and cats outside? The family group? They huddle together, and they do just fine. Merry… I honestly think, you're over thinking this way too much."

   "There's more…"

   "What? Merry… unless you're just about to tell me you used to be a man, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. What is it?"

   Merry fidgeted and looked down at her shoes.

   "I can't have kids."

   "Okay. Is there anything else you're so damned worried about, that doesn't really matter to me? Look, all you have to do right now? Is just… exist here for a little while. Walk around with me. Spend time with me. You don't have to do anything but put your arm around me. Hold hands with me. Sit near me. Sleep next to me… that's all I need. Okay? How hard is that."

   Merry smiled sheepishly.

   "I must look like a complete basket case to you right now. Don't I?"

   He kissed her cheek, quick and affectionately. A quick peck that wouldn't have raised eyebrows in public had he just kissed his sister's cheek in the same fashion.

   "You. Are handling this… just fine. Better than most people would, I think. Just let it pass. In case I never told you before now?"

   "Yes…?"

   "You did wonderful. You woke me up, and we got the drop on the guy coming into your room. I could have died in my sleep if it wasn't for you."

   Merry rolled her eyes.

   "Bitty Kitty did that. He jumped on me, and went over to the door. He thought company was coming over."

   "You read it. Animals have been used as burglar alarms for thousands of years. I think most people would have missed it. You caught it."

   "Oh, then I didn't even know what to do. You had to ask me where to hide, how to get away. I… honestly would have frozen up."

   "That's normal. You've never been in combat before. How could you possibly be expected to know what to do when something like that just happens."

   "You're just saying that…"

   "No, I'm not. You wanna know how the average person handles that? Most people either curl into a ball, or, they run around like a chicken with their head cut off. All you did? Was freeze up. That's like gold to me…"

   "You're just trying to…"

   "No, I'm not. The people that curl up and won't move? They die. The people that run around like a chicken with the head cut off? They die. People that freeze? They have a chance… that's you."

   "Christ, I didn't even know to get out the Bitty hole, and I live there…"

   "Normal. You froze up, which is optimum. I'm there. As long as you can answer me… do what I tell you? It worked out fine."

   "What if I didn't tell you about Bitty hole? What if…"

   "Don't go crazy wondering what if, what if. It didn't. But? You ask, so… if you curled up into a ball, or started running in circles? I'm pretty sure I would have put you in the shower, and I would have posted up at the door frame. I need some kind of cover, and a direct line of sight."

   Merry almost whispered…

   "You've been… hunted before."

   "Yes. I have been hunted. My original group down in Central America? We were pretty much the bait."

   "I thought you guys fought back."

   "You don't always run. You don't always hide. Sometimes you do something in between. As humans? We're just like Bitty Kitty. Sometimes we're the predator. Sometimes? We're the prey. And sometimes? You turn around and jump on the thing after you. Whatever. I don't read too much into it."

   "If you say so."

   "I do. Now then, anything else science girl needs to know, in order to relax for a couple weeks?"

   "My motel apartment… the cops are all over it…"

   "Yeah. There's a dirty as hell feeb got shot, right smack dab in the middle of doing some of his dirty as hell shit. So sure, there will be chalk lines, and… police tape… all that bullshit. I'm sure it will be all over by the time we get back."

   "When I went back, with Speedy? To grab some clothes? I couldn't find… everything I was looking for… when I get back? I'm worried about…"

   "Oh! That… I actually forgot about that shit, in all the excitement. You're fine."

   "I don't think we're riding the same wavelength, dear. What about when the cops find my…"

   "You're stash? Your little scale? Your little jewelry box with no jewelry in it? I grabbed that."

   "What?"

   "Yeah. Don't you remember I came back to find you, I had my backpack on? I grabbed both our cell phones. My laptop. I think I got everything… I even flushed the ashtray by the bed down the toilet. Might be a pack of papers or a pipe somewhere I don't know about, but… I tossed my backpack after I got our phones out, into the trunk of Speedy's cruiser. I told him to keep it with your clothes he took you back to get. Sorry, I forgot to mention it."

   "So…"

   Panic handed her the car keys…

   "Go and get my backpack out of the trunk. And quit worrying about stuff. If I left a pack of papers or a pipe back there? Trust me, no one gives three hairy shits about that… everyone is way more interested in a dirty cop came to kill you."

   Merry walked out to the car, and he heard her work the trunk open and closed, and come marching slowly back in. She sat down on the air mattress, and started combing through it.

   "Wow. Looks like you got… everything. Or, almost everything. Holy Christ. I can't believe you kept your shit together in all of that."

   "Ah. Sometimes after a fight? We would want them to know who hit them. Sometimes? You comb the fight area, to get rid of any trace of who you are and where you came from. Seemed like the thing to do."

   "So. We can…"

   "Yeah. Sure. Just make sure we're alone. It's not a big deal."

   "I… just was worried about you, and Speedy, and him finding out…"

   "Merry? Speedy's not retarded, you know. He already knows. He knows I smoke. He's already figured out you smoke. No one cares. I just don't… bring it up in public. The boys? A lot of cops and military."

   "Oh. They don't know…"

   "Merry? I've made enough little snide jokes online over the years? Pretty sure everyone knows, or, could find out easily enough. It's not a secret. A few jokes around a campfire is all we talk about it."

   Merry almost instantly relaxed a bit. She had been worried about all of this, and suddenly had a weight taken off of her. She smiled at him, and set about rearranging her "jewelry box". Rolled a little hand-rolled cigarette. Peeked out the door, like a high school kid making sure they weren't going to get busted by a janitor or a teacher happening along.

   "So… you wanna chew up one of your pain pills first?"

   "No. I'm holding off on my morning pill as best I can."

   "Do… you wanna glass of wine?"

   "Not this early, hun. I try not to have booze for breakfast."

   So, they sat on the little folding camping chairs, just inside the door to their little outbuilding they were using for a cabin, and kept a lazy eye out while they shared the little hand-rolled cigarette. Merry kissed him several times during and after. Smiled and said they had to have some chemical interaction, just in case.

   After they sat around idly for a little while, Merry asked what they were going to do now.

   "I don't know. I don't care. Can… we hit the secondhand store in town? Like I said, cheap cooking utensils I can burn up over a fire and not sweat it."

   Merry was obviously more relaxed and settling down some. She drove them slowly out to the edge of the property. A guy was sitting there, with binoculars. Merry paused by him, so he was next to Panic's window in the passenger side.

   "Hey. We're going to town. You need anything?"

   "Not really. Merry told us you hurt your shoulder, you all right?"

   "Ah. Couple stitches. No big deal. I'll be stiff and sore for a while, then I'll be fine."

   "Where did you two post up last night?"

   "We kinda took over that one shed in the back end…"

   "Oh. Do, you two want the clubhouse? To yourselves?"

   "Not if you guys are camping in it."

   "Well, we don't wanna take over the best building on the site if you're here…"

   "No. It's fine, trust me. I'm here with a pretty girl… out in the woods… for a couple weeks. Not being antisocial about it, but… we'd rather not bunk up with all you guys…"

   The man smiled.

   "Gotcha. Yeah, we're all used to being in tents for a week, or, here we have a clubhouse kind of thing going."

   "If you're wondering what I might want to take back to our little hide hole?"

   "Name it."

   "I brought a little brown dorm fridge when me and Speedy were here first couple times. I was thinking about grabbing that, if it ain't a big deal."

   "Oh, hell no. We got two more already, and another on the way. Guys are bringing presents for the new RLB long-range. How long you kids going to be in town?"

   Panic looked at Merry. She shrugged. Panic looked back at the man posted up and shrugged.

   "Why? What's the difference?"

   "Well. If you and Pocahantas here could find something to do for a little while in town? We'll drop your dorm fridge off for you. Your shoulder?"

   "Oh. Yeah. Just let it sit outside, we'll take it in. I got the door cracked, with a rock in the door, so the wind doesn't blow the door shut. That's so the cat can get in and out."

   "Dorm fridge outside, leave the rock in the door for the cat. Gotcha. You and Pocahantas gonna come to the fire tonight? Or not. No biggie."

   "We might."

   "Whatever. You'll probably find your dorm fridge there when you get back."

   "Well, I appreciate it. Thanks… we're gonna get going…"

   "Have fun."

   As Merry slowly started them back out, they could hear him calling back.

   "Yeah. Panic and Poke are going to town…"

   Merry smiled and shook her head.

   "Do… you mind being called Pocahantas?"

   "It's fine. I've been called worse. I like being called 'Poke' better than 'Bloody Mary', trust me…"

   Panic snickered.

   "What?"

   "I'm… you know, I 'poke'… Pocahantas?"

   "Yeah, I got that. I wasn't going to make a big thing about it."

   "Just checking."

   "Second hand store… and what else? Your boys are gonna move your little fridge for us…"

   "I don't know. No schedule. Doughnut shop?"

   "Hmm. No racquetball night, no jogging night. Now donuts. And pizza… aren't you afraid you're gonna make me fat? Cause then you have to lick a fat girl's bum, you know…"

   "Better than being hunted, ain't it?"

   Merry thought about it.

   "Yeah, it's better… pretty much anything beats being shot at, I guess."

   "Yeah, well. Welcome to my world. Sorry you had to visit it."

   Merry smiled thin.

   "You really did leave that… world… behind you."

   "What makes you say that?"

   "Little things that science girl picks up on."

   "Things, like…"

   "Well. I'm still waiting for you to brag to your gun buddies about getting into a… gun fight, and getting shot, and winning."

   "Ah. I see. Perhaps science girl never noticed I don't go out of my way to brag about Central America. Before you ask? A few guys know about it, not many. Most of them suspect something like that, if they don't already know."

   "Why would they suspect?"

   "Eh. Someone could pick up on a few things I might say here and there. Put it all together. But no, I don't bring it up, or brag about it."

   Merry looked over at him and smiled.

   "Because… you don't wanna wear it."

   "Right. And? There's a lot of cops and ex-cops in our group… I don't exactly wanna rub the cop's noses in a dirty cop situation, and I ventilated said dirty cop."

   "Since we're talking about it…"

   "Yeah?"

   "I still can't believe we're on vacation. I kinda pictured we would be handcuffed, under bright lights, getting yelled at."

   "Internal Affairs handles all of that. It's basically? Dirty laundry for the FBI. It's pretty much an open and shut thing. Do you really wanna hear all of this?"

   "Sure."

   "They found the slug that grazed my shoulder. Ballistics will put it right back into that guy's gun. He's got a lock-pick and a city police badge ain't his on him… me and you? Eh, we'll almost certainly be doing a 'walk through' explaining what happened to IA. I really don't expect anything to come out of it."

   "Are… we… you know. Hiding out? From the other dirty cops?"

   "Not really, but, yeah… it'll take a week or two to pick up the stragglers. Nobody wants a repeat of this situation. Being out of town for a few weeks? Ah, let's say that's the… window… for any 'buddies' he had to get drunk and come up with any bright ideas to try."

   "So… we're on vacation for a couple weeks. We just happen to be vacationing with a bunch of guys carrying guns around all day and night."

   "Exactly. Plus? Almost no one knows where we are. Speedy and George know. My senior agent knows where George lives, but, George is a protected witness, so… only a couple people know roughly where we're holed up at."

   "You're not worried about the FBI knowing where you are?"

   "No. The guys I work with on my case? Internal Affairs? I don't worry. If I was worried about that… I would have emptied that debit card locally before we left, and used cash on the whole trip here."

   "So… we're safe for a few weeks."

   "Yeah. Sure. Why?"

   "Well… I was getting to thinking how cool that was, to feel safe here… then? I get to thinking about when we go back. More specifically, when I go back. To my motel. To my job…"

   "We'll… talk about that. We don't have to do it today. We have all month for that. Okay?"

   She smiled and shook her head.

   They passed several days quietly. They went to town. They brought home pizza and donuts. They idly window shopped town for something to do. They bought little useful things for their cabin at the secondhand store. Merry was going to buy another jug of inexpensive wine, but Panic stopped her. Explained he would get some of George's homemade, or, even Skykid's "gourmet" reserve.

   They spent most of their time sitting around their cabin and camp. Some of the boys came and went after socializing with them. Merry bathed in the creek in her loincloth, and had Panic sit in the water up to his waist, and carefully avoided his stitches getting wet. She wrung the rag out, and wiped him off carefully, what couldn't get under the water.

   They went "fishing", but… really they more or less just sat there, talking, for the most part. Panic showed her how to "work" the bait shop. As Panic felt like it, they walked around the property.

   They spent a little time at the campfires at night, but, didn't stay for much longer than to eat and say hello and goodbye, before retiring. No one could get them to stay and have fun. Merry was slowly getting less quiet, and Panic was starting to be able to move his shoulder around some. Merry finally had him sit at their camp, while she read the instructions for taking the stitches out, then performed the deed.

   Before she sat in the chair next to him, she kissed him and tousled his hair. A funny look on her face as she did it.

   "What was that for?"

   "You really are dense sometimes, Panic…"

   "What?"

   "I still can't believe you got shot. Protecting me. What more could a woman ask for in a man, you know?"

   "Oh. That. Honestly, I just got grazed. Trust me, I've been hurt worse. It's not a big deal."

   "Well… to a woman? It's… pretty romantic. In a way. Think about it."

   "Honey?"

   "Yes?"

   "Next time you wanna get all romantic? Can we just have a glass of wine and fuck? You know, skip the whole getting shot part."

   Merry laughed her ass off, and Panic joined her.

   "Honey? You said when I feel like it, we can hang out at the campfire, with the guys, right?"

   "Sure."

   "Well. I'm feeling better. We're both laughing about it. I'm sure that means something."

   "Well? If I'm taking a nap when it starts to get dark? Just poke me with a stick. We'll go hang out with the boys."