Choke - Chapter 84

   It was rare if Skykid was present, for anyone else to go about the cooking. But then, it happened. He showed the guys burger meat and potatoes for french fries, and asked them if they had any questions. No one did. He had one statement he muttered as he left, and it was something about cleaning his giant cast iron cookware. Rob drove Skykid out first. They scouted the location, agreed on a frequency/channel, then picked Sky's actual spot. He ended up in the underbrush, on watch. Rob dropped him off a little past, so he could walk back through the underbrush to where he would be observing.

   When Rob went over everything again, Skykid giggled.

   "Christ almighty, Rob. I'm watching. If the car leaves, with the subject in it? I'm squawking my head off about it. Settle down. We're bird-watching, not hunting."

   Rob then drove Panic to his drop off point. He slowed to the side of the road, and got out as if taking a piss on the back-road, which allowed Panic to get out and into the underbrush. Even if anyone had noticed Rob driving around some, they would report he was driving alone. Rob talked and got a response a few times to make damn sure Panic's audio was working, then drove away to his own hiding spot.

   Panic gave a soft, running commentary on the yard and house. The old basement door and ancient lock was the obvious entry point. When Rob asked how hard the basement door would be? Panic laughed and said they shouldn't have even bothered.

   "Wide door gap. No dead bolt. It's a cruel joke."

   Rob was monitoring him and talking back.

   "You in?"

   "Yeah. Typical small rented basement. Main activity, seems to be washing clothes. Shelves for clothes. Some old books. Romance paperback shit, most of it. Nothing interesting. Moving up the stairs."

   "Still no dog."

   "No dog. This is not a dog person."

   "Good. Dogs are a pain in the ass for this."

   "Door to the basement steps. Remind me, to lock it."

   "Giving you trouble…"

   "Nope. Closet lock. Coat hanger key style."

   "High security."

   "I know. I'm in. Remember the dog?"

   "What dog."

   "Exactly. Mystery solved. There's at least one cat."

   "Old romance paperbacks, and a cat? She's planning on being a middle aged barfly."

   "Messy kitchen… going through the cupboards. Looking for disco."

   "Spice rack. Spice cupboard…"

   "I know… looking…"

   Panic had a small headband holding a really small camera on, that let whatever he looked at show up on HD video later. Like a lot of things nowadays, what was once "state sponsored operatives only" budget wise? Were now affordable Christmas presents for teenagers. Because he was serious, he popped the extra 125 bucks for the higher specs.

   "Nothing interesting. Moving to the living room…"

   "A few more romance paperbacks. Girl magazines. Got a computer desk. Looks like… you sit and play on the internet, while you watch cable and streaming. While you do a line of coke. I'm playing with the computer… be a couple minutes…"

   He turned the computer on and off a few times, then got it to go to the BIOS screen by trying a few keystrokes with every power cycle. He adjusted it so it would first try to boot from a flash drive, then saved it and tried it. He was making sure it didn't boot up slower than normal with no flash drive in it. Satisfied, he recycled the power and let it go. He was met with a short wait, then a screen demanding a password.

   "That won't save you…"

   "What?"

   "Nothing. Talking to the computer…"

   He stuck his thumb drive in, and it booted up very quickly to a LINUX operating system off of the flash drive. He looked around, and saw how much of the hard drive was in use. Not much, this was a casual internet user. He didn't have 20 Gigs to copy the entire thing. He started it going.

   "I got… not even a half hour, making a clone of the hard drive. Looking around some more."

   "Moving upstairs."

   "Anything interesting?"

   "Yeah. Clothes everywhere. The floor? Is used instead of a dirty clothes basket."

   "Anything?"

   "Another TV. Big surprise there."

   "Anything else?"

   "Yeah. I'm in front of your shrine."

   "What is it?"

   "Not sure. Cheap, weird statue. Ashtray, maybe… incense burning… hey, jars of… stuff."

   "What kind of stuff…"

   "By label? Clover… White clover… Marigolds… Rose petals… kinda looks, like you put this flower shit in water, and run a candle underneath it. I guess for scent. Home made potpourri."

   "Lots of candles. Hey, a box of beeswax. Making her own candles, huh… arts and crafts… told you, this was some kind of hobby, not a shrine. Oh yeah, candles are… dirty. Stuff in them. She makes… her own scented candles…"

   "Dried plants, asshole. Keep looking for disco."

   "I am…"

   He moved around the bed, and lifted up the mattress and felt around. He came up with an old, rusty 38 special snub-nose. Loaded, but with mix and match ammo. He put it back where he found it.

   "Gun under the mattress. Just something for date night. I got the numbers on video. One small closet… "

   He opened the closet, and found nothing spectacular at first. Some shoes on the floor, a few coats for different seasons. Some gloves and scarves and hats on the upper shelf.

   "That's weird."

   "What?"

   "Uh. Dark cloak. With a hood. Looks like… a costume kinda deal."

   "Halloween comes up once a year."

   "Going back to the candle shrine. Lots of little drawers and nooks with shit in them."

   He was going through them, when Rob cut in urgently.

   "Lights… car… moving your way. Move!"

   "Shit… boyfriend?"

   "Looks like some girl. Move!"

   Panic saw headlights playing on the window. Rather than ruin everything with a figure dressed in black making a mad dash across the yard coming out from the side of the house the basement door was on, he decided to stay calm. He issued a calm order as he made his way down the steps…

   "Clear this channel… I want radio silence."

   All he heard was a brief, muted "fuck" out of Rob before the channel went dead. He flicked his radio off on his belt, just to make sure. He walked quickly over to the couch, and pulled it out a little bit on both sides, evened it up quickly by eye. He squeezed behind the old, long couch.

   He heard the car park, and the footsteps come up the couple of old wooden stairs and across the porch. A key in the front door. This was an expected guest. Some rummaging around in the kitchen, but not long. Microwave running. Talking above the microwave.

   "Yeah."

   "Fuck you. I'm making tea."

   "Yeah, I will take my time. Thanks!"

   The female voice talked to the cat. Called it "Gay-ah". Panic thought that was a weird name for a cat, but hey. He was glad he remembered to shut the monitor off to the computer. He left it run with the screen off, rather than having to burn another half hour copying the drive, or missing it.

   The cat made him nervous. Meowing and scratching at the carpet near him. Then the microwave went off, and the female interrupting him went and got her tea. He heard her blow in it, then eventually sip at it. She went back in the kitchen, and was judging by the noises… getting sugar. Fridge again. Milk.

   He heard what sounded like the cup getting sat down carefully, then he more felt the female getting down onto the floor, that was his impression, if going by the vibrations he felt through the floor while judging it blind. He heard a strange noise. It reminded him of an old wooden drawer a little tight getting gently forced, but not by half. He couldn't place that noise, but he knew it came from the far corner. He heard her speak.

   "Nothing!"

   She was on her phone again, talking to the cat, or talking to herself.

   "Hey, dipshit. It isn't there."

   "Yeah, fuck you too."

   "Wait. Upstairs? Okay… hold on…"

   He heard her talking and marching up the steps. He heard just as similar of a weird noise he couldn't identify as he had downstairs, then she was back down the steps.

   "Yeah. Finishing my tea now. Bye…"

   Panic heard a soft "bitch…" after she hung up.

   "Gayyy-aaaa… don't tell on me, okay? If your mommy makes me go get something for her, I get some. Okay? All right, honey…"

   Panic heard little clicking noises, some rustling of something, some more clicking noises. Then he smiled. He heard the long snort, and the exaggerated sniffling. He could even picture the little snorts afterwards, she would be dipping her fingers in the tea, and giving it to her nose, to follow up some moisture to help it all get in better.

   After powdering her nose, the visitor was considerably more at ease. She ended up sitting on the couch Panic was hiding behind, and talking idly to the cat. The cat who was still trying to point him out to her, and she wasn't getting it. Thank god.

   After a time, he heard the flick of a lighter, and smelled cigarette smoke. Then, before it could be done… she said goodbye to Gay-ah and he heard the door click shut behind her. Footsteps back across the little wooden porch and down the steps. The car started up, and it went away. Panic waited a couple minutes.

   When he was sure they weren't coming back, or as sure as he could be… he flicked his radio back on.

   "All clear."

   "You good?"

   "I'm a friendly ghost."

   "Are you getting out of there now?"

   "In a minute. The visitor? Came to pick something up. I wanna check it out… computer's done…"

   Panic had flicked the screen to the desktop computer back on, and verified the contents of the hard drive were cloned. He shut the computer back off, and gently pulled the thumb drive he had booted from and slid it into his pocket. He made his way over to the corner of the living room. The corner that he had heard the strange noise from. Sounded like she got down on all fours, too… there it was. Old house. Old register over the heat runs and cold air returns. His grandma's house had them when he was little. You could lift them up and hide toys in them, find spare change or whatever else adults dropped.

   He went upstairs, and found the register up there. He pulled it open, and was not entirely surprised to see some baggies with powder, tied off, with a small and even amount in each of them.

   He looked around all the nooks and crannies of the hobby shrine, and came up with what he was looking for to go with it. A little battery powered digital scale. Chinese mail order. He went over all the dried botanical stuff again, and made sure he captured the labels on his camera.

   "Hey. What do we have here, kids?"

   "What?"

   "Looks like, it could be disco. I'm taking a sample…"

   "All right. I'm done for now…"

   "Great. Remember the computer's on…"

   "Got it. Computer's off again."

   "Remember to lock the door at the top of the basement steps."

   "I'm on it…"

   He walked over to the basement door.

   "Coming out now. Same way. Locking the basement door behind me. Like I was never even here."

   "Sky. Games over. Anything?"

   "Nope. I like these easy jobs. Just pick me up where you LZ'd me. When you get a chance…"

   Panic made his way back to Rob's hiding spot, and he got in. Rob came out onto the main road with the lights off, while Panic peeked and made sure no cars were coming. As soon as he got in to join Rob, and they were out on the road and moving, he put the lights on.

   "Couple minutes. Move to your LZ now…"

   Panic moved over, and Sky came out of the underbrush when he heard the truck he knew the sound of gun the engine twice.

   "Everything go smooth?"

   Rob looked at Panic.

   "Mystery guest. Female. No biggie."

   "Closet? Basement?"

   Panic snickered.

   "Couch. She sat right on it, and talked to the cat."

   Rob raised his eyebrows…

   "I heard you say disco."

   "I have a disco sample."

   Sky and Panic hunkered down in the truck, until they were off the road, and onto the path to the camp.

   They dropped Skykid off near the main bunkhouse, where the boys were sitting around. Having a few beers, a few stray burgers. Occasionally someone would heat up the oil in the big cast iron kettle and drop some french fries. Two were arguing while laughing, about whether to skin the potatoes or not. Another not only wanted the skin on, he wanted the potatoes cut into big wedges. They asked Skykid how their little "scouting" trip went, and he laughed it off, and said he didn't get to see much where he was stationed at, the other two hogged up the best spots to look for game on the trail they were on.

   Rob drove Panic back to his cabin and went in with him. Merry waited before quizzing them. Rob wanted to know about the sample he said he grabbed. He showed both of them.

   "Well? You think that's it?"

   "Looks like it could be right. Smell? I guess it could be. Doesn't do me any good, though. What I did isn't admissible. Just a fun fact finding mission."

   Merry croaked in.

   "Test it."

   "I'll call the lab guy. It's unofficial, so, he doesn't have to do all the tests. Just enough so we know for sure."

   Rob eyed Panic up.

   "You never did get poison ivy. Or any other poison anything, that I can remember."

   Panic shook his head.

   "God's little door prize, for making me a weird kid. I can't tell you what poison ivy even looks like. Poison oak? Poison sumac? I have no idea. I never get the shit."

   Rob smiled.

   "I got an easy test. For before you call your lab guy and all."

   "What's that?"

   Rob held his arm out.

   "Rub a tiny bit. Just a tiny spot. Right there. I'll tell you in five minutes if that's what it is."

   A tiny pinch was put on, and Panic rubbed it in with a circular motion. Before scraping it back into his hand carefully. He didn't want Merry walking on it in bare feet around the cabin. It didn't take long at all.

   "Oh yeah. You got a spray bottle of window cleaner?"

   "Try a splash of bleach. That's what the lab guy said helped his when he got it on his finger in the lab."

   Rob went outside and bleached it and rinsed it a couple times. He put a piece of tape over it, which made them look at him.

   "What? I don't want it spreading, from touching it. Until it dries out, the shit spreads on me if I touch it. You can wait on your lab report? But… I'm telling you. That's what it is. Christ. It already feels like I got burned."

   Merry talked by face to Panic, then added in her croak.

   "So what next."

   Rob rolled his eyes and spoke softly.

   "I don't think anyone in this cabin wonders what I think. When someone tries to kill you? You either run away, or… get rid of them."

   "Merry. You wanna run away?"

   She shook her head no. Quite emphatically.

   "I don't wanna run away either. This place was going to be my home."

   Merry nodded with him, she agreed.

   "All right. Something has to be done. If you don't want my way… what."

   "Rob. You? Are forgetting about something."

   "What?"

   "We can't target her. We all know the target. Stupidest thing in the world to do."

   "How?"

   "Goddamn it. Speedy? Someone disappears around here, you don't think he's gonna look into it? Make a few calls, bring some people out. They're gonna sit down, and the first thing they're gonna do… is decide who had a problem with the… target. I mean, that's how she became a suspect. It works the same way back. We do that? We might as well leave a Hansel and Gretel trail of bread crumbs right back to this camp."

   "All right, all right. I get it. You wanna do this the… official way."

   "Yeah. We have to."

   "So? Where we at then. We know, and we can't do anything with it. Right?"

   "Right now? True. But we know."

   "So? What's your next move."

   "Step one. We keep Merry dead. As far as the town knows."

   "There's no funeral. She's not dead, she's… missing."

   "Good point, Rob. She's not dead… she's… she went to the hospital? And never came back. Bad food allergy out of nowhere. She's… in a coma. Brain damage. Vegetable. They're… going to pull the plug."

   "Temporary, but okay."

   "I wanna know who my visitor was. That's someone close to her. You don't just hand out house keys to everyone in town. She could be in cahoots. No use taking care of the problem, and the problem had someone else in on it. If someone took care of me, and didn't take care of you? Now, they have a problem on their hands. A problem they don't even know about."

   Merry looked at the two of them talking while facing one another, and smiled glancing up at Rob's greater height, standing there. She husked out…

   "Bigger problem."

   "I wonder who it was…"

   "Hey. You got a plate, right?"

   "Yup."

   "I've heard that voice before, I just can't place where I heard it. The plate, the car? That'll tell me."

   "Anything else?"

   "I got coke. I ain't allowed to know about it? But, I got coke. I'm gonna run that little snub nose I found, too. Might get lucky it comes up stolen."

   "Ain't all that just more stuff you ain't allowed to know?"

   "Yeah. But I can probably come up with some way to… bring it out. I already know who, I just need a way to get the cops into her house, looking around, for some other reason. Then? Anything they find, is official. If one of the cops, just happens to know what to look for… beforehand… see?"

   "Okay. I admit, I see that route to finish things. Question… we're just waiting for them to take another run at Merry. If at first you don't succeed…"

   "Merry's a… vegetable. No one suspects anything. They got away with it."

   "Okay. Disinformation. I like that. How do we spread it? We can't drop leaflets on the enemy town like in world war two."

   "Good idea, Rob. We do practically the same thing. I hit the bars. I get really drunk. I'm drinking because Merry's about a brain dead vegetable, and they're going to pull the plug on her, and I can't handle it."

   "That news? Will spread like wildfire, in a small town."

   "Sure will. Buys me time, too."

   "You guys wanna watch the little movie Panic made? Here's the soundtrack…"

   Rob handed over the SD card that had the audio he recorded off of his radio.

   "You two wanna watch that yourselves? Or… you want some burgers and french fries…"

   Panic looked at Merry. She shrugged, then nodded yes. Rob disappeared to get burgers and french fries for them. While he was gone, Panic made a copy of the video onto his laptop. He made a copy of the audio off of the SD card as well. He started playing it, and you could only hear his voice. He opened the movie up into one of his weird programs he had, and deleted the audio and saved it under a new name. Now, he closed it out and opened it again, this time bringing in the no audio camera movie. He pulled in the audio file, and it played as the soundtrack to the camera movie. It was badly out of time.

   He knew a few things he said and when, such as reading off bottle contents while holding it in his hand. He changed the time offset until the audio started playing with the camera movie. Then, he saved it under a third name. By the time Rob got back, the audio was in time with the action on the screen. Rob's radio chatter was on his own digital recorder. Panic quickly copied his audio, and quickly found its offset, so as to time it to play in well. That was easy, he just lined up a question and answer back and forth between the two of them.

   He saved a version with no audio, a version with just his own audio, a version with just Rob's audio… than a last version. The final cut had the movie and both audio tracks in real time.

   Rob and Panic dove into their burgers. Panic had what he knew Rob would call a Bluetooth moment with Merry. She took her burger apart on her Styrofoam plate, and pulled little nibbles of it off with her fork and slowly ate the main burger that way. Then she did the same thing with the bun, before she started in on her french fries. With every tiny bite, she washed it down with her drink. They both said nothing, and it subdued the mood of the proceedings somewhat.

   The three of them went over and over the video. Panic would set a small section to repeat until he clicked around and allowed it to run normally again. They ended up sending Rob back down for more burgers, fries and cold cans of pop. Merry could eat, it just took her forever. All three of them had their moments noticing things, but Rob had an epiphany neither of them was likely to have had. Rob sat back and grinned, and made Panic pry it out of him.

   "Yup, gotta enjoy this one."

   Merry croaked "why…"

   Rob positively beamed.

   "Hey. I'm best friends now, for a long time… with mister… trivia thesaurus sitting there."

   "Merry? Ignore him for a while. When he's ready? He'll spill the beans. I've seen this before. This? Will probably be good…"

   "My college? The Seminary. I would of picked this up earlier, but, the girls aren't pronouncing the name of the cat right."

   Merry and Panic looked at each other, then to the grinning fool sitting with them.

   "Its not gay-ah. It's supposed to be… guy-ah. But a lot of people say gay-ah instead of guy-ah."

   Merry furrowed her brow, and Panic did the same.

   "The goofy statue? What's it look like, to you."

   "Place to burn incense… a candle…"

   "No. What's it look like. By itself, how would you describe it?"

   "A big, fat, old woman. With old lady tits down to her knees."

   "That's it. That's Guy-ah. Now? Everything makes sense."

   "How?"

   "I think it's spelled G-E-I-A, check my spelling on the internet. And that's a statue of her. This isn't a hobby, making scented candles. It's a religion."

   "Huh?"

   "What?"

   "Oh yeah. It's a pagan religion. It goes back, to before Christianity. Geia? Is the goddess of the whole world. That's your original mother nature. It's where you get your modern word 'mother nature'. It's why we say 'mother earth' sometimes."

   "Keep going…"

   "It's basically… mother earth worship. They celebrate the seasons. They worship nature. The early church? Had to put church holidays right around these old holidays, to get people on board slowly, over time."

   "And… it couldn't just be a cool thing to burn home made scented candles on?"

   Rob laughed.

   "No way. Too much to be a coincidence. These naturally scented candles? That… is the original aroma therapy. You burn certain dried herbs and shit to do different things. That robe you found in the closet? That's not for Halloween. She'll wear that when she's alone and doing her pagan shrine shit. Notice the shrine is in the bedroom? Not a coincidence."

   "How?"

   "They celebrate fertility. The fertility of the earth. It makes food for the people and the animals. The fertility of the animals, that you have more food than just plants. The fertility of people. No… she puts her robe on when she fucks some guy she drags home, I guarantee it."

   "You're fucking serious?"

   "Oh yeah. See how the bed's back from the wall? See the four little tables at the four corners? Those aren't really four ashtrays. Those are for burning incense and those herb candles. Now… see how the bed sits funny? That's not an accident either. I'll bet you… the head faces east. Due east. The rising of the sun is important. It opens flowers. It makes things grow all summer. It wakes people up in the morning. It brings people out of hiding all winter, in the spring."

   Merry croaked out softly.

   "Witch. Witchcraft."

   Rob him hawed.

   "Eh. Yes and no. See, everyone thinks all witches are in covens, and they sacrifice to the devil and shit. That's just satanism. Totally different. These people? Are pagans, not devil worshipers. They would think of themselves as healers. The church never could entirely get rid of them, well, as you can plainly see here."

   "I thought they burned them at the stake, Professor Roberto…"

   "Yeah. You take an Aloe Vera plant, and concentrate the goo, and rub it on someone with a burn. In the old days before hospitals. You know to clean out a cut, and pack it with sugar? To prevent infection? Yeah… hard to put a stop to people like that. You're talking about the people that could time a woman, so she could have more babies."

   "What?"

   "You never noticed, that a woman's monthly gift, is 28 days on average. The same number of days, from new moon to new moon. They could tell a woman when they were fertile. Hey… when the pagan woman tells you to concentrate your fucking on the waxing crescent moon, and it works? You ain't never getting rid of that religion… ever. Women always did have babies rabies."

   Rob suddenly stopped. Looked at Merry. She waved her hand and gave a little smile, saying it was fine, to keep going. Panic had to ask…

   "Incense. Potions. Wisdom… poisons?"

   "That's what I'm thinking. You ready for the big ending to my lecture, kids?"

   "Hey. Hanging on every word…"

   "When did she attack Merry, huh?"

   "Well. We don't know exactly how long the big joint she planted was laying around, but… middle of September. Why?"

   Rob shrugged.

   "The four most important holidays. There are two solstices, and two equinoxes. Every year. The summer solstice is the longest day of the year, and the shortest night. The winter solstice, is the shortest day and the longest night. There's also two equinoxes. When the day and night are the same length, in spring… and another in the fall. Harvest time. It's when a plant has it's most power… think about it. When a carrot is as big as it's ever going to get, and tastes the best and has the most nutrition… any plant you want to use, you get it then."

   "You're saying…"

   "Yeah. This all goes together. None of this is an accident. The attack took place, shortly before the fall equinox."

   "Not a bad theory, Rob."

   "You guys staying here? I'm gonna go back and hang out at the fire. Unless you want anything else."

   Panic and Merry Bluetoothed.

   "No. We might be up, in a little bit. I'm gonna make a few calls, a few emails."

   "Yeah. You should come and hang out, for at least a little bit. I already know what you're gonna do, anyways. Stay up all night stewing on this. I know you."

   They did go and hang out around the fire. Merry was getting to be more like herself, with the exception that she didn't talk as much. She would only ask short questions, or answer the same way. She didn't engage in long conversations or lectures anymore. This led to her being quiet, which led to her being a hell of a lot more like a wallflower than Panic was at all used to.

   They had a drink or two over several hours, and never really did join the mild festivities that was the night time fire. They sneaked off for a smoke and returned.

   "Honey? Are you having fun, or…"

   She gave a weak smile and shrugged.

   "Does it still hurt to talk?"

   "I can't raise my voice. It still hurts to laugh too hard. I can whisper and talk soft all I want."

   "So, you still feel funny with your new voice."

   "Duh."

   "They said at the hospital, that your voice might change."

   "Yeah."

   "Do you think it's…"

   Merry looked at him with a deadpan.

   "Permanent? Starting to think so."

   "I told you I like it."

   "So you keep telling me."

   "Are you ready to go?"

   Merry nodded, and they said their goodbyes and walked back to the cabin. Panic wanted to stay up and fool around with the video and audio more. Merry told him not to stay up too late and went and laid down with the cat and fell asleep. Panic was intrigued by Rob's earlier analysis. On a whim, we went back to early in the basement. He had gotten close and scanned the row of books slowly. He started looking the books up online.

   Not all of them were romances, although many were. Apparently, she never saw a natural remedies book she didn't want. Stuck for any more real productivity, he started in on the romances. Title by title, he found out as much as he could about them. Unlike the natural remedies books, where anything would seem to do? The romances were all fairly similar.

   All her romances were period pieces. Nothing modern day, everything had to be old time settings. Mostly medieval; a few in other time periods. Every central female character either used magic or alchemy or something along those lines. Rob was right, this was a serious theme to the suspect. Typical jacket cover description was a mysterious robed healer woman who lived alone in the forest, and met and had adventures and fell in love with… whatever perfect prince charming swept her off her feet over a couple hundred pages.

   This was where he wished Merry was still up and on this with him. She didn't live in real life in a city like a lot of people preferred, she lived in a tiny town in the sticks. Her little house she rented, was out in the woods at the end of a dead end road, with no other houses along the road for a good bit. Just like the mysterious robed healer lived in the woods, apart from her village.

   Intrigued, he found out he could download a couple to several chapters to sample the book on one website. He dutifully downloaded and copied every sample text he could and started reading them, one after another. A couple to several chapters out of one? On to the next one. He quietly made coffee and kept at it. This was one of his strengths, so he made use of it. He could stay up late, he could read fast and accurate. He could study things for long periods of time.

   Merry got several hours of sleep, and woke up quietly. She looked at the time, then over at Panic. Laptop hooked up to cellphone for reasonably high speed internet. He had already gotten a small desk and a tattered old office chair for next to nothing at the secondhand store in town, and there he sat. Engrossed in his project. Merry watched and realized this was a preview of what he was going to be like with his free time. Something to study, something to figure out the puzzle. Usually on the computer and internet.

   Merry got some of her juice out of the fridge and sipped it, while standing behind him and watching him work. She asked what he was doing, and he excitedly started explaining it. She finally ended up with her hands on his shoulders, then leaning over with her arms around him, whispering in his ear.

   "Come to bed."

   "I only have a couple more…"

   "Yeah. Then? You'll start doing this on the books upstairs. I can see where this is going. Bed. Aren't you tired?"

   "Eh, a little. Coffee. I'm almost in the zone…"

   "Zone? What zone…"

   "Where I can get a lot of work done like this."

   Merry sighed in his ear.

   "I don't want you staying up all night. Obsessing on this. All morning. All afternoon. Probably all night again."

   "Just get me a coffee. I'm close… I'll come to bed in a little bit. I promise…"

   Merry went and got his cup filled for him, but…

   "Hey. That's not coffee."

   "No. You already had enough coffee. It's juice."

   He started to get up, and Merry giggled and put her weight into leaning on him over the back of the chair. She tightened her grip around his neck and clamped her hand firmly over his mouth. She hissed in his ear.

   "I'm in charge of your sleeping, right?"

   She nodded his head for him, chuckling.

   "You have a couple pages left. Finish it. Then close it all up."

   She let her hand off of his mouth, after telling him she was going to stay right here, to make sure. He closed everything, and shut the laptop off.

   "There's no way I'm letting you get strung out again, like you were when I found you. You got plenty of work done. It's fine. It'll be there tomorrow. Let's go…"

   She all but dragged him to his feet and all but pushed him over to the bed. She undressed him and threw him bodily down onto the gigantic mattress.

   "I'm setting the alarm for 10 am."

   She gave him her little signature tiny curl of a smile, and stepped out of her jogging shoes she had put on to walk over and see what he was doing at the computer all night. She lifted up her oversize night T shirt so he got a quick peek to know that was all she had on, then crawled over and slid on top of him. She shushed him when he started to talk, verbally and physically. She punctuated her shushes with her index finger on his lips gently.

   She obviously didn't want him to say anything, and if he moved around too much, she leaned her hands on his shoulders. She didn't look angry at all, and she was wearing the tiny curled hint of a smile.

   After a while, when she had established she didn't need him to speak, and she didn't need him to move around, and he seemed to be content… she leaned in and laced her fingers together on his chest and settled and squirmed and tucked herself in, resting her chin on her hands. Staring at him.

   "All calm now. Hmm?"

   He nodded.

   "Are you mad, that I made you stop?"

   He shook his head no.

   "Hmm. You sure?"

   He nodded.

   "We both know, that you can toss me off, if you wanted to. I mean, if you really wanna stay up all night, and work yourself half to death for 2 or 3 days straight, you can. I can't really do anything about it. Unless… you let me."

   She shook her head and shushed him and stuck her finger on his lips again, when he started to talk.

   "Do you really wanna get all strung out again, like when I first met you? So overtired that you can't sleep."

   He shook his head.

   "All right. So… you don't think I'm being a… mean, controlling bitch? It's all right to say it. I won't get mad, I promise."

   He shook his head.

   "I understand it. You drive yourself hard. Like a guy beats on an old dirt bike. Like you said, you go all in, whatever you do. You give it everything you have. You remind me of one of those tracking dogs. I saw one, on a forensics show once. This dog? Was just like you. It had some kind of scent, it was tracking a missing little girl. It tracked her smell to a parking lot? Then it knew to follow the car. That dog, was just like you are. It wouldn't quit. The dog was pushing itself for over 36 hours straight, and the handlers had to stop it, before it killed itself, trying to do it's job. That poor dog was falling over, trying to get up and walk some more. Wagging it's tail the whole time. The handlers had to hold it down and make over it to keep it from killing itself."

   "Shh. Your eyes? Are tired. Your face is tired… and you're still pushing yourself. But I can feel your heart beating under my hands. Now, here's my plan. See what you think. I… want to fool around a little. You? Are going to end up getting a couple hours of sleep, when we're done. You can get up, when the clock goes off at 10 AM. I want us to get a nice bath, at our rock. You know the one. Then? Just about time for lunch. Then… you can read and get into this all you want, all day and night again, if that's what you wanna do. Okay?"

   He nodded, and she sat up on him. Bit her thumb playfully.

   "All right then. The only question left is… are we gonna do this the easy way? Or… the hard way. You wanna try it the easy way? Hmm?"

   He nodded and smiled.

   "Hmm…"

   She skinned her T shirt off, and settled down on top of him and started in on him, while burying her face in his neck, and talking with hot breath in his ear.

   "Don't talk… don't move… okay? Mm… I have a surprise for you, mister. You ready for your surprise?"

   He nodded.

   "Good. I want you to repeat, after me, in my ear. Can you do that for me? Hmm?"

   He nodded.

   "I…"

   "I love…"

   "I love you…"

   "Very good. Now? Just one more thing…"

   "I love you… Holly."

   He repeated it several times, in her ear.

   "Very good. Now… you will never, and I mean never, say that? Unless we're alone, and fucking, and only in my ear. Is that clear?"

   He nodded slowly.

   "Yeah, it better be crystal fucking clear. I'm talking haunted twat rules. I'm not kidding. You don't yell that out. In my ear only. So, did you like your present?"

   He nodded.

   "Good. So keep doing it, and don't stop until I tell you…"

   She buried her face in his neck while she went about her work, and she seemed to enjoy it being whispered in her ear. When they were finally done, she laid on top of him and spoke into his ear.

   "I also got called Jolly… Ollie… and Olive… and Oliver. You can use any of them you want to, but… only in my ear. Only when we're home. Alone. Do you understand?"

   He nodded.

   "Good."

   She slid over into her familiar sleeping position. Leg and thigh slung over him, arm snaked down and around his neck, into the loose hug.

   "Think you can sleep now…"

   He nodded.

   "Good. It's almost 5, clock's set for 10. Now… you're not allowed to get up and wander around, do you understand me? You get up to pee or something, I want you right back in this bed. Do we understand each other? Hmm?"

   They did.

   "Good."

   After a short time, she spoke softly in his neck.

   "I'm proud of you."

   "For what…"

   "For not arguing with me, and going off and… doing it the quick way. I can see on your face, you like Rob's idea. Thank you. Do you know why I want to do this the… right way. Hmm?"

   "You tell me…"

   And he added into her ear…

   "Holly."

   "I'm pretty sure, from the stuff you told me… you never did… "

   "I didn't."

   "Well… I don't want you to start now."

   Panic chuckled.

   "What?"

   "She started it."

   They both laughed.

   "I'm pretty sure that… you're trying to impress your precious Speedy, wrapping it up with a bow on it for him, huh."

   Panic chuckled again.

   "Yeah… showing off a little, I guess."

   "You tell him yet?"

   "He knows. I'm sure Mike talked about it with him. Speedy said he's coming with Mike this weekend. Both IA guys are coming in again too. They're a little pissed someone took a run at their witness again."

   "I'm sorry about this. I got in the way of your own case again."

   "Ah. No biggie. We can't really do much until we get a hit on our guy down south anyways. We got posters up all across two states. It's coming soon. I'm not the expert, but… I'm pretty sure, I just need to figure out an excuse to get a warrant that'll hold up on this little bitch. You think we got her?"

   Merry laughed onto his chest.

   "I'm actually not an expert at that. Guys like your Senior buddy? That's interstate homicide, they do that. Senior's coming in with Mike and Speedy too, right?"

   "Oh, I'm sure. He's a career guy, and Mike says he follows him around like a puppy."

   "Really?"

   "Yeah. Mike said he treated him to lunch with him and his assistant director and a few other bigwigs. He said he looked like a little kid at a birthday party."

   "Yeah, that's my Uncle Mikey. I don't get to do the office thing like all the other agents do, but he tells me about it. In case I wanna do the office thing when I'm done doing this one day."

   "Are you?"

   "I don't think so."

   Merry laughed sleepily again on his chest.

   "What?"

   "Just thinking. I probably can't even work in your gun shop, huh?"

   "Why not."

   "Duh. I don't know exactly what a standard background check on me would turn up. Known associate of an organized crime group?"

   "Ah. Well, that's what your couple of tanning beds are for, keep you out of trouble. Am I allowed to work in your little tanning salon?"

   "Oh. That. Uh… actually…"

   "What?"

   "If you're not flaming gay? A guy working in a tanning salon… kinda creeps women out. Most women wanna tan naked you know. Women talk shit on reviews online, if a straight guy works at a tanning salon."

   "Christ almighty. Gay guys get all the good jobs… massage therapist… tanning salons…"

   "I guess I could start calling you 'Panique' instead of just Panic… you could flap around a little… do your funny voice you do with Rob…"

   "Oh. Just thtop it, you bitch…"

   "Honey?"

   He whispered in her ear…

   "Yes… my little Olive…"

   "Do… you really like my voice, or… you just being sweet. I don't like sounding like a goddamn bullfrog."

   "Want me to tell you a bedtime story?"

   "Sure… make it a quick one."

   "I was in college. I had a buddy. He had a cool Camaro, and… I kinda had the gift of gab. We were both computer programming geeks, but… we were both jocks, too."

   "And he had a deep, sexy voice… and I remind you of him…"

   "We were friends with these girls."

   "Hmm. Were they cute?"

   "Yeah. There were, three or four of them. We liked going around to parties with them, having girls around us. You know. Didn't make us look bad or anything."

   "Were either of you two guys fucking any of them?"

   "No, we weren't. Not like we didn't try to date them or anything. But, they always wanted to hang out with us."

   "Ha. You know you got friend-zoned, right? They used you for rides, they used you for escorts to parties, so they were safe going places."

   "That's what I love about you. You can always be counted on, to put things ever so delicately."

   "Subtle is my middle name."

   "Yes, we were acutely aware we were in the friend zone. Except back then? I don't think it was called that yet. But… we were talking about it, and I had an idea."

   "You? Wow."

   "Yeah. My idea? Let's keep hanging around with them, even if we ain't getting any. He asks why. I said… well, for one thing? We look good, running around with all these cute girls, and they have friends and we look good. I mean, we're showing up to parties with a car load of girls, and meeting another car load of their girlfriends."

   "Hmm. Arm candy."

   "Yeah. Plus? I reminded him, he had trouble talking to girls. I can just walk up to anyone, and start cracking jokes and stuff. He can't. We're getting educated on how to just hang out with the girls. Not to mention… we hang out in their dorm rooms and apartments all the time. We're not getting any, but, they're running around in their T shirts and socks, drinking with us."

   "Aw. Did you boys enjoy the leg show, huh?"

   "Yeah. We did. Now like I said, I remember telling him… dude, women are the enemy. And we? Are in the enemy camp, by god. Learning how they talk, how they act. We're hearing, what they like about some guys, and what they don't like. We learned how to just… hang out with girls, and got comfortable doing it."

   "This is great and all, but what the fuck does this have to do with my gay man's bullfrog croak I have, honey…"

   "Well. One of the girls, actually, we thought she might have been one of the two best looking ones out of them. And… she had this really deep voice. We both thought it was really sexy."

   "That's it? This bedtime story could have been a whole lot shorter honey."

   "Okay. I'm wrapping up now. So… there we are, we're hanging out in the dorm room with them. Drinking beer and passing a joint around, and… the girl with the deep voice? She puts her arm around me, and says… hey… I just wanna say thanks. I say what, for getting the beer? We all pitched in even. She says… no. Thanks for you two guys not making fun of my voice. Turns out, she got made fun of all through high school for it, and she was really sensitive about it."

   "Oh."

   "Yeah. Me and my buddy? We both were kinda amazed. We told her… we thought it was… you know… a really sexy voice. She didn't believe us at first. We had to convince her, guys were always asking if we were dating any of these girls, and guys were always asking if they could get the girl with the sexy voice's phone number."

   "She believed you guys then?"

   "Yeah. I mean, we all got talking about it, and the other girls admitted, guys always mentioned they liked her voice. Then she told us how she got it."

   "Oh. Had her throat cut like mine?"

   "No. Apparently, she had a bad case of strep throat. She had a doctor's appointment on Monday, and it was late Friday night when it started getting really bad. It lasted all weekend, getting worse… and by the time she got to the doctors, and the prescription started to work… it had scarred her voice-box. It left her with a permanent deep voice. She used to have a normal girl's voice, and, the other kids made fun of her all through junior high and high school because of it."

   "I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, and I want you to answer them quickly. Okay?"

   "Shoot."

   "Quick, what was her name."

   "Emily. Behind her back? Me and my buddy called her Tasty Emily. Like I said, she was pretty. Me and my buddy used to argue who's turn it was to sit next to her."

   "What did she look like."

   "Blonde. Tan. Blue eyes. Really pretty, cute face. Nice figure. She didn't have to do hair and makeup to get attention from the guys."

   "Okay. I believe you."

   "You think I'm making this all up?"

   "No, but… just making sure."

   "I'm sure you got the whole point of the story…"

   "Yes. I'm pretty sure, if I didn't have what looks like a goddamn bullet hole in my throat, to go with it? I might feel better."

   "Wanna know another secret, about guys?"

   "What…"

   "Scars are cool. Honestly? I like the couple scars you have on your legs. Especially when you get tan and I can see them better. I like it."

   "Hmm. That's mostly from playing soccer. If you keep burning someone in a game and they can't cover you? They start going for the legs with the spikes."

   "So? Quit worrying about it. You get around some people that never met you before? All the guys are gonna wanna know who the girl with that deep, sexy voice is. With that cute little scar."

   "You might be trying a little too hard, honey. Just saying."

   "Listen, hun. You have a big, fun personality. You tell jokes, you have a big, hearty laugh. Everyone listens to your stories, and you can even hold a… I don't know what to call it, it's like you're giving a college lecture. Now? I'm watching you sit there. You just smile and nod. You barely put three words together. It breaks my heart, to think I'm watching you turn into a quiet wallflower. It was really… raspy? For a couple days, but… it's really smoothing out now. Just promise me you'll try a little, when you're ready. Okay?"

   "Okay. I promise. And one more thing?"

   "Yeah?"

   "It's sleepy time. And if I wake up, and you're sitting at that damn computer, before 10:00 am… well… use your imagination what might happen. You're not allowed out of bed, except to pee, and get right back in bed. Capiche?"

   "Yes, honey."

   "All right. Don't make me get my panties out and use them on you. And one more thing."

   "Yes…"

   "In case you didn't notice, the timer is right there. It kinda looks like it has a little over five h-o-u-r-s left on it, hmm? Like I said… just use your imagination what could happen."

   "Yes dear…"

   Panic started chuckling again.

   "What is it now…"

   "Oh. Remember when I said if we were here through the winter, I was gonna start dressing you up as a cute little elf, with the little hat with the bells and everything."

   "Yeah?"

   He chuckled again.

   "Well? What is it…"

   He whispered in her ear.

   "Naughty little elf. Jolly Holly…"

   She chuckled with him.

   "Okay, that is funny. But hun?"

   "Yeah…"

   She moved her hand up from her sleeping hug, and clamped it over his mouth tight, and hissed in his ear.

   "Sleepy time. This is your last warning, mister. You can either snore for the next five hours, or… you can spend five hours squealing. Timer's already set. Pick one."

   She dropped her hand back into the gentle hug and drew the sleeping bag covers up over them. They finally drifted off. He woke up once and had to make a quick bathroom trip outside, then sneaked back into bed. He thought he was trying to get back into her without waking her up, when she groggily said "come here…" and arranged herself back into the usual position they were both used to, then quickly fell asleep again.

   When the beeping finally started, it took a few seconds for him to pry his eyes open. Merry was already starting to stir, and gently hugged his neck.

   "Just ignore it. It's a timer, not an alarm clock. Goes off in a minute, not an hour…"

   The soft but insistent beeping disappeared within a minute. Merry yawned and stretched and lazily rolled over on top of him.

   "Now. Let's have a look at you, hmm… better."

   "What."

   "What my ass. All this time, you've been sleeping fine. One night, and you get all revved up. Drink more coffee than a goddamn horse needs to stay up, and start killing yourself like that dog I told you about on that show."

   "Well… what's looking at me got to do with it…"

   "Your eyes. Your face. By the time I woke up? You were starting to get that sleepwalking look again. It only took one night."

   "This is important."

   "Listen to me. You are not running on an hour or two of sleep a night again. If there's an emergency? Fine, you can lose a night or two of sleep because it's an emergency. Yes, this is important, but… it's not an emergency. You can work 18 hours a day on it, seven days a week if you have to. But, not 24 hours a day."

   "All right…"

   "Will you tell me something?"

   "Anything."

   "Before I met you. Before… you and Speedy. Were you like this?"

   "You mean, when I stayed up late. Working on the computer. Right?"

   "Yeah. How bad is it. When it's not… life and death."

   "Oh. I have work days, and days off. When I'm onto something? Yeah, I stay up late. Maybe four or five hours of sleep. Tops. I had to, I was mainly a driver."

   "Hmm. Then your days off?"

   "Yeah. If I'm close, and right on top of something? Eh… I give it an all niter, sometimes even two nights lost in a row. But… then I sleep for, like, 20 hours."

   "So… if it's not life or death… you don't get on the one hour a night plan."

   "No. I don't. And… it's temporary. I make up for it for a week or two after a little patch getting onto something."

   She kissed him.

   "All right. When all this shit's over? When all the craziness is over, and things go back to normal. You can do that on your days off. You can obsess over… music… writing… cryptography… whatever. You can obsess over good things. Not murder and attempted murder. I don't want you killing yourself about people trying to kill each other."

   Panic giggled.

   "What's so funny, mister."

   "You."

   "Hmm. What…"

   "I guess I'm your… tracking dog, you told me about in that forensics show."

   Merry smiled.

   "Yeah. You are. You'll kill yourself, wagging your tail while you do it. Someone has to handle the dog, and keep it from killing itself."

   "So… you're my handler now. I have a handler."

   She smiled and grabbed him rough by the chin like she sometimes did. Wiggled his face back and forth, like she was checking him for ticks.

   "You got a problem with that?"

   "Nah. Lead. Follow. Or get the hell out of the way. And I ain't getting out of the way."

   She kissed him again.

   "Me neither."

   He looked over in the direction of the computer desk… and she grabbed his chin again and yanked him back to look into her face again.

   "It'll be there. You just need to give me a little bit of your time, then… you can go back to it. All right?"

   He nodded. She kissed him.

   "Good. As much as we like each other's scent, we should still get a bath and a change of clothes, huh?"

   "Yeah."

   "You want a coffee?"

   "Uh huh."

   "Well. You got half a sauce pan of it left over there. I'll… put it on low, and we should stretch out. Then? Swim and a bath. We take our time, and lunch should be done. And then… if you wanna ignore me all day and half the night… you can. Deal?"

   He nodded.

   When they were stretching out on the gigantic mattress they shared every night, Panic chuckled.

   "What…"

   "Do me a favor?"

   "Yeah."

   "The leg show's fine, but… you mind putting your shorts on?"

   "Well, you did miss breakfast, you know. Most important meal of the day, right?"

   "Are you gonna be miffed, if I'm not in the mood?"

   She shrugged.

   "It's fine. You know, I recall you being a little frisky in the mornings, if you don't remember."

   "I remember."

   Merry put her workout shorts on, and went back to working into splits and leaning forwards, mirroring him.

   "I hope I'm just making a joke, but…"

   "What…"

   "Do I have to wait till the little witch is in a cage, before I get laid in the daytime?"

   Panic had to stop for a few seconds for laughing.

   "No. It's not that bad."

   "But… you don't want breakfast."

   "Merry, it's… never mind."

   "What. Tell me."

   He stopped. Gave a sigh.

   "You remember when you had… pictures? The tunnel…"

   "Yeah… I didn't even like driving through that tiny train trestle into town for a week. Why?"

   "Did you get… pictures, from this?"

   Merry rolled her eyes.

   "Yeah."

   "What was the picture. If it's okay."

   "I told you. I felt like I was floating?"

   "Yeah."

   "Well… I swear to god, it was like I was looking down at myself. I saw what I looked like. I was fucking dead. I'm not crazy, I goddamn saw it."

   "That was your picture?"

   "Mm… more like two pictures in one."

   "What was the other one?"

   "That, and… then bang, there's a… blast of blood and air, right in front of my face."

   "Yeah. That's what happened. As soon as I…"

   "Well, that's my picture. I get it every time my throat hurts."

   "Going away?"

   "Yeah… the less my throat hurts? The less I see it. Why?"

   "What do you think? You're the staff psychologist around these parts, ain't you."

   Merry stopped.

   "You have a picture?"

   "Yeah. Why wouldn't I? I told you, it's normal."

   "Well then… what's yours."

   "Pretty much what you saw. Your eyes. Your face. Bloodshot eyes, bulging. Swollen up tongue, coming out. About as blue as a mailman."

   "Well. It's going away?"

   "Yeah…"

   "What else. I can hear it."

   Panic sighed and shrugged.

   "Recurring… thoughts. I don't dwell on it. It'll pass."

   "Tell me."

   "Honey? You don't need to---"

   "I said. Tell me. Now."

   "What. I snap her neck like a fucking chicken. Throw her down her steps. Set the house on fire, and walk out. Poor little thing. Woke up in the middle of the night to a fire… and broke her neck rushing down the stairs in a panic in the dark. Whatever."

   "Honey. That's not a stress picture of something that actually happened. That's…"

   "I know what it is. I told you, I don't dwell on it."

   "Hun. You're describing a persistent thought or image. That's a fantasy."

   Panic laughed sarcastically.

   "No. It's not a fantasy. A fantasy? Is bending the captain of the girl's college volleyball team, over the kitchen stove. Rough. And? She likes it. That? Is a fantasy. This… ain't. So like I said, I don't dwell on it. I know it's not good."

   "Okay. Bear with me. My tunnel picture. It came… when we went under the trestle. This time? When my throat hurts. What makes… this come."

   Panic looked at her, and made a face.

   "Where the hell did you get your masters in Psychology at? I thought you went to a big school. The fuck do you think makes it come?"

   "That's why I'm asking, isn't it? Do I have to put a bug on the cat's collar, and you tell the cat, and I find out that way? Cause that's how you get answers out of little kids."

   Panic chuckled, but she was pretty sure she didn't entirely like the blank face he made.

   "Are you calling me a little kid?"

   "No. I'm saying you're acting like one. Tell me."

   The rest of the light and life drained quickly out of his face. For a brief moment, she got to see what she figured monsters that preyed on innocent women and old people saw, for the last thing on earth before they disappeared and never came back, a decade and a half ago. The half smirk he slipped over it a few seconds later, actually did little to make it any better. If anything, it made it somehow worse. It was a relatively blank death mask, wearing a slight grin.

   It didn't startle her the way it did when she first saw something similar to this, the way he changed when he was getting ready to meet her "friends" and score the drug he needed for his case. This was way worse. But, it wasn't unexpected, and she wasn't in any way afraid of him either. So, she just watched it happen, clinically fascinated.

   He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She could tell he wasn't trying to frighten her, and he didn't want her to see this, that was what he had been trying to avoid.

   She spoke as softly as she could.

   "We came this far. Just tell me and get it over with. So we don't have to do this again. Okay?"

   He wouldn't look at her, and he kept his eyes closed, and went back to pretending to stretch down, so he could face the floor instead of her. Hiding his face for the time being. He might as well have been talking to the floor.

   "You…"

   "Me what?"

   "You, dumb-ass… you make it come. You fucking happy now?"

   "Oh."

   "Yeah. Oh."

   He kept up his facade of pushing his head down between his split legs to face the floor. Hiding his face like this, his voice dropped to a very calm, very cold tone. Too calm.

   "While we're on the subject. That you find so… fascinating. You will probably enjoy knowing what the other… fantasy is. Eh…"

   "Well…"

   "Remember pig valley? Out where the big herd of wild pigs is, in the forest."

   "Yeah."

   "Drag her little ass out there. Poach some deer. Any deer. Quarter the deer. Toss a deer leg down… let the herd of wild pigs come and get a snack… toss another deer leg down… another snack… toss the rest of the deer down… feeding time… then? The fuck you think I throw down the hill last… feeding frenzy…"

   "No."

   He laughed at the ground between his legs, and it actually sounded like he was responding to a funny joke.

   "Yeah. Broken arms… broken hips… but alive. Pig food. Soon to turn into pig shit. That's what she is to me… just pig shit. Wild pigs? Feed on dead carcasses… live meat… whatever they can overpower. Soon as one gets a mouthful of meat? The rest pile in and fight over the scraps. They even grind up the bones and shit it out. There ain't shit left when they're done with lunch. You happy now?"

   "This doesn't… bother you."

   He chuckled again.

   "I thought I told you. It… doesn't really bother me, bother me. It bothers me a little bit, that it doesn't really bother me."

   "And… you're okay with that."

   He thought about it, still talking to the floor.

   "Yeah… look hun. She gave you every excuse, to smack her around. And? You were nice about it, and let her go. How does she then repay us for your kindness. She sneaks out, and slithers into my own goddamn house. Where I live… and tries to poison us and kill us. Then? Walks her little ass home and thinks she's slick. So yeah… I don't think a little fantasy, as you put it, is all that out of line. Like I said… I know not to dwell on it. I know it's not good."

   "All right."

   He came up, and his face was a lot more normal now. Well, almost. More than enough, anyways. He stood up, and shook his arms, and jumped up and grabbed a rafter of the cabin with an open attic. He did his pull-ups, slow and careful, palms out and shoulder width apart, like always. When he was done, he seemed irritated.

   "Fuck…"

   "What."

   "You can't count? I can only get 15, and I died on 16."

   "Isn't that pretty good?"

   "Rob'll make fun of me, if I can't do 20 of 'em. I gotta walk on my hands a lot more. Remind me, if I forget, would ya?"

   "Sure."

   Merry wasn't so much amazed at what had just went over his face and demeanor, and what came out of his mouth that was entirely believable. What was clinically amazing to her, was that it was just as if someone had snapped their fingers, and it dissipated and was now gone. Now? A teenager was back. More worried about the possibility his other teenage buddy could score more points on the video game than he could.

   It didn't take much imagination at all on her part, to close her eyes and see these men, down around the equator. Younger. Smart, dedicated and motivated. No rules, no guidelines, no referee. Egging each other on, and giving each other ideas.

   Mike had told her, when she quizzed him alone about that part of the world back then. He simply said it was "hell on earth" for a couple years, and the world turned their back and let it go on. Out of sight, and out of mind. For basically economic and diplomatic reasons. Mike had explained, you can't always put a fire out, sometimes? You have to pour more fuel on the fire, and just let it burn itself out.

   Redwater had done that. Someone got the checkbook out, and sent in all the toys the boys wanted to play with, and let them go. They tore up the rule-book and shut the cameras off… and just let it take its course. Then… Rob claimed that God himself looked down, and he was not pleased with what he saw. So… he pointed at it, and sent the angels of death down. To play.

   The less moral and less self aware of them, stayed. Honed their taste for blood and death, until it became almost a craving. They came home, but never entirely rejoined the human race. They got paid even more, to prey on hapless villagers, that got in the way of important things. If the person impeding "progress" would be noticed, and missed? Just tack another zero onto the end of the number you wrote on the check. Whoever had once coined the phrase that you can't put a price on human life? Had definitely never worked at Redwater. And if they did? It sure wasn't in accounts receivable.

   The more moral and more self aware of them? Got bored with it eventually, and decided to come home and rejoin the human race. They carefully saved a little portion of their soul and what humanity they had left, and kept it safe, and treasured it. The way a child carefully preserves an interesting, shiny rock. They keep it safe and secure and mostly hidden. But… if you're nice and friendly, they will take their little treasure out of the little pouch they keep it in, and show it to you. Smile and show you their greatest treasure, that much of the world places no value on.

   Men who still met the definition of "human".

   She realized, she was looking at one of those.

   Much like a little kid trying to do something the father or the big brother does? He kept jumping up to see how many pull-ups he could manage, less and less each time… until finally, he couldn't manage to get a single one up. He came down the last time, covered in sweat. Stretched his arms and back until he was satisfied.

   He made sure she only wanted the one coffee, then drank about all the rest, as if a college frat kid drinking beer. Burped, giggled, and wiped his mouth on his arm. It was all gone now, all of it. The coffee was gone as well.

   "Well?"

   "What…"

   "I thought we were going to go swimming…"

   They went and were walking to Rape Rock to go swimming, their bath until it got too cold out to do it. She asked if it was okay to ask one more question about the subject.

   "I don't want to dwell on it. So get it out of your system, hun."

   "If I make the… pictures… come? What makes them… you know… go away."

   He laughed easily and handed her his phone. She quizzed him. What was she supposed to be looking at. Some text, some phone call. A game, some app… or exactly what.

   "No, silly. Just look at the main screen. If it was a text, I'd have told you that…"

   "I don't see it…"

   "Do you need your reading glasses?"

   "No. It's just your phone's main screen…"

   "Well. Keep staring at it. Changes every minute."

   Took her a while to figure out what he meant. Several pictures of her. The pictures were the background of the phone screen, and they rotated every minute or so. He never lied to her, he would always refuse to answer her rather than lie if it was possible.

   Seeing her all but dead, gave him recurring images of snapping a little woman's neck like a chicken and burning the house down around her to cover it up. Made him daydream about breaking her and feeding her, still alive, to a pack of wild pigs that would frenzy on her like sharks on land, and probably start shitting the first mouthful of her out, before the last mouthful was taken in.

   Short of having something to occupy his mind and his hands until he literally collapsed to sleep, looking at his favorite pictures of her, one after the other… made it pass.

   She knew she didn't have to worry about him doing anything rash. He had already talked about it with everybody he could. Everyone already knew the situation. It was his way of preventing himself from giving himself over to the urge. He knew he had made it back, while still something that passed for a human being. He was forcing himself to play within the rules.

   Now, he would simply scour the rule-book, looking for his way in, his way around what was the last thing stopping him from accomplishing his goal. What he himself laughed and said was all he really needed now.

   A piece of fucking paper. Which was what he called the warrant that would hold up. He had told her, that was Speedy's doing. If I have to touch second base? I have to do it, and be able to prove I did it.

   He would make sure he got the right piece of paper.

   After he jumped in, and promised her the water was warm. After she argued with him that she knew it wasn't as warm as all summer. After she had jumped in what she already knew was somewhat cold water. After she giggled about the cold water that took a few minutes to get used to. After he teased her about his shrinking manhood, and that her "headlights" were "on". After they were used to the water temperature? He gave her his usual ten minutes of light instruction on floating on your back to rest, how to do a lazy backstroke you could do all day.

   He once again had her come up behind him, and put her arm around his neck, and float on her back. Arching it. Just able to sort of float the person laying back on you. Had her one armed paddle backwards and drag him up the deep part of the creek and told her she was getting better at it.

   Then, the heat of the day was up, and they climbed up on top of "their" rock and warmed up in the sun. This was Merry's first full swim after finally having him take her couple of stitches out of her throat two days ago, so she was able to fully go under the water and not linger in the shallows.

   She laid in the sun, and he laid right next to her, just inside the shade line.

   "Hey honey…"

   "Yeah…"

   "Remember you gave me an example of a good fantasy?"

   "Honey. Would you get off this subject already? Geez…"

   "No. Your example of a good fantasy. You said it was, how did you put it? Oh yeah… bending the captain of the girl's college volleyball team over the kitchen stove, and giving it to her… rough… and she liked it. That was a good fantasy."

   "Well? Sure ain't a bad one."

   "Does it have to be the captain…"

   "I guess not. Why?"

   "How about the co captain. Of the girl's soccer team. Would she do?"

   "I guess."

   "Well. Cross that one off your list. She liked it."

   He feigned indifference, and sighed.

   "What?"

   "Co captain. See, that's just my luck. Second place. Always a bridesmaid? Never a bride…"

   He was already laughing before she started punching and pinching at him. They wrestled around in the sun on their giant beach towel laid out, until they threatened to skin themselves going off the towel and onto Rape Rock itself.

   "Well. Time for the toothpaste game, little boy."

   After they were done with their own version of brushing their teeth, he asked how Hotler was doing.

   "Trimmed her the same night you took my stitches out. She's fine. You gonna oil me up now?"

   "Yeah…"

   She noticed he seemed fine, yet… he wouldn't initiate anything. Normally, warm baby oil on hot skin was about the same as dropping the flag on a car race. She didn't press him. This was temporary. He wanted to wait until he was just about to fall asleep for that. No sense making him just go through the motions, most of the other couples their age did that. She hinted at it, just in case.

   "Hey."

   "Yeah…"

   "Getting close to lunch time. Anything we're forgetting, before we finish up here…"

   "Hmm. Yeah! Hand me my phone. Shit, I forgot. Please?"

   She handed him his phone over.

   "What. Gonna make a video of me getting dressed…"

   "Huh? No… I forgot to call the lab god… fuck…"

   "Hey… how's my lab god doing?"

   "That good, huh?"

   "Yeah. Hey, you said to call you with another sample. This a good time?"

   "Okay. What? No, I got… look… I got a sample. From where it's supposed to be. I just didn't get the sample yet, if you know what I mean there?"

   "No. The ref's never looking my way. Well, hardly ever. So… I snagged a sample. So this one? Just make sure it's the same shit. I'm pretty sure, I just wanna make double sure. That okay?"

   "Great. What?"

   "Yeah, I'll let you know when I finally get the official sample. I just need a note from my mother to go get it for real… you know how it is…"

   "Well. That's just it. You drove here last time, do you want me to drive it there? That's fair… or…"

   "Or… I didn't know how your weekend was looking."

   "Why? Well, I remembered you liked some of those phone calls you got, right?"

   "Ha. Yeah, I know. Because… we're all having a little get together out here. This weekend. I wondered if you wanted to… you know… network or whatever you call it?"

   "Yeah. I'm pretty sure the guys that called are the guys that are coming in. You know, if you're happy with a phone call and an at-a-boy… figured you'd maybe like to have a beer with em all weekend. If you want to. You can regale us with tales of your laboratory derring do."

   "No. We all get naked and drink goat's blood, dancing around a big bonfire. Definitely, you can't bring your girl and your kid. What were you thinking?"

   "I'm kidding. Bring the wife, bring the kid."

   "Anything. Swimming. Fishing. You can go kayaking. Target shooting. We can find something to go kill if you want."

   "No. If you want a tent, fine. Or you can stay in the bunk house, or… in one of the cabins we got around. What? No. We got the food already, we got the beer. There's nothing to even spend your money on, really. Just bring them out. You'll have fun. They'll both have some fun. And, uh… you know. You get to hang around with your… at-a-boy calls. I'm pretty sure they'll just love you."

   "No, I'm telling you, it's fine. My girl's here. Your girl can be here too. No, whenever. Look… see if it's okay with your boss, and if she okay's it? Just text me back. Yeah, this number. I'll send you the town name, directions, and a mile marker where to get off the main road, and… latitude and longitude for your GPS. Okay? Great. Same here. Bye!"

   He closed the call.

   "Thanks hun. Almost forgot the lab god. Ain't nothing happening, without the lab guy's happy."

   "Anything else?"

   "I guess we should get dressed. Might as well get a hot lunch, right?"

   "Hell yeah."

   Merry laughed to herself. Sex and food were most people's normal creature comforts. She was already forced onto literally portions of food at a time that a small bird could eat. Now she was going to have to do without sex when the sun was up, and indeed it seemed, not until he was exhausted enough to be ready to pass out.

    If this keeps up too much longer, she figured she'd strangle the bitch herself and save him the trouble.

   On the walk back to the cabin before going onto the main camp and lunch, Merry tried to be pleasant.

   "So. Sounds like you got a new boyfriend and you're trying to get him to come out for the weekend, huh?"

   "More or less."

   "Aren't you worried, Speedy will get jealous?"

   "I'm sure Speedy won't mind me getting paper lined up for everybody. We're gonna put a bird in a cage, right? Gotta line it with paper first."

   Merry snickered in spite of herself.

   "I thought you didn't like schmoozing."

   "I don't. I want an inside the park home run. I have to touch all the bases. One of those bases, is definitely lab shit. Because, we're dealing with a poisoning. So, am I schmoozing for paper? Maybe a little. But… he wants to work for a different lab, in the FBI system. Meeting people, that he's helping out? Gets him recommendations he needs."

   "You think he'll get along with everyone?"

   "I'm kinda seeing me, him, and Junior hanging out. We all…"

   He grasped for the right words, but not quickly enough.

   "You three are going to have a little… geek fest."

   "Yeah. Exactly. Now… I'm picturing you don't have anything against the guy doing a good part of the work to put the little witch in her little bird cage, right?"

   "Oh. I will fetch his beers, you put it like that."

   "Right. Your Uncle Mikey? He's helping to take care of his favorite niece."

   "Uncle Mike? Always makes it a point to do anything he can for the little guys around him. It's one of his things. Plus? Yes, Uncle Mike loves his niece."

   "Right. Both Internal Affairs guys? They're worried about the little witch taking a serious run at their favorite witness. Your enemy's enemy? Is your friend."

   "Too true."

   "Senior? Speedy? Both homicide. Both want this wrapped up neat and quick, to get back to the main case. Not that you aren't important…"

   "No. The quicker you guys get the devil? The quicker I can have you all to myself. We're even there. We both have something big and crazy needs finished up, so we can get to whatever the fuck is going to pass for… normal, for us."

   "So… I'm starting to lose track, of all the letters of recommendation this guy's suddenly going to get pouring in, to help him get to where he wants to get to. Uncle Mikey even hinted at his assistant director would add another one, if the guy comes through. He might as well start window shopping for real estate there."

   "Where's he wanna get to?"

   "Some big complex of independent labs, that all the three letter agencies use. Called the Virginia Farm."

   "More money."

   "And he gets to live in the country. Where his girl and his kid will be happier and safer. Where bigger properties are cheaper. Where there's less crime, and he can let his kid out after dark without biting his fingernails."

   "Mike and his assistant director, makes sense. You're trying to line him up with two or three more letters?"

   "Sure. Nice guy. Went out of his way to help us, just cause some guy called his boss, and his boss called around looking for volunteers. I'm no genius, in a chemical analysis laboratory, but, I was impressed. Look… I'm already getting my paper I need out of him, regardless. The guy's already got two cookies promised to him. Now… if I have the run of the pantry right now, why not get him two or three more cookies if I can. Look. You can always fuck someone, you can do nothing… or, you can try to help them. Which one makes the most sense."

   "See? That's why I liked you right off the bat. You don't even have to know someone, to try to help them."

   "Eh. Most people are trying to fuck everyone else, to try to make good things happen. I like to be different."

   "You are different. I like it."

   "Look. I know I'm not paying you hardly any attention right now. As soon as some of this is over? You can have all of my attention. Especially when my case is over. I'm retired from all of this, as soon as we catch the devil. There won't be anything left, but you to worry about."

   "And this winter…?"

   "Other than my case, and your trial or should I say trialZ…"

   "Oh shit. Merry has another trial now… the witch bitch."

   "Well. You have any idea how quiet it's going to be out here, when a deep snow finally hits? You'll be able to hear a mouse fart from the other end of the county. Eh… hunting season excluded."

   "Sounds cozy. And… you're still going to dress me up like a naughty elf?"

   "Definitely. And, as it gets colder? You get to wear your night ops coat."

   "Hmm. Night ops. Sounds… almost kinky…"

   "It better be. Aren't you going to perform… interrogations?"

   "Oh. Definitely. I have special colored lamps, just for that. I'll get the information out of you. I'm sure of it. Come here…"

   She stopped walking just up around the last bend from the main camp, and the prospect of hot lunch. They were pretty close to where they had once went off the trail to where Merry assassinated the squirrel that ruined her moment, under "her" tree. She whispered in his ear.

   "You wanna know my last name?"

   He shook his head yes, like a little kid. She leaned in and whispered dramatically in his ear.

   "Something very Italian…"

   "Oh, that was mean…"

   She smiled.

   "Isn't it?"

   "That, is a good way to get it rough, you know."

   "Right. Let's see now… you got your boyfriend Speedy coming in. Your new boyfriend. You got JG to play with again. Plus, you have all your chapters of the witch's romance novels you have to read… honestly? My ass is pretty safe this weekend, I'm sure."

   She smiled and stuck her ass out and wiggled it, to punctuate her proclamations.

   "Right now? I could bend over naked with a candy cane up my ass, you wouldn't notice…"

   "Well. I admit I'm temporarily distracted… but that? I'd notice."

   "You'd think… hmm. I smell something…"

   "Lunch."